Ignorance is no excuse

Its not at unreasoable to want ones money to go where one de

I worked from 17-62, obvs paid taxes, brought up children. Spent my last few working years managing RA, elderly parents, depressed famiky member and their children, my two through exams and uni. More recently six months full time care for mr I. Our adult children and grandchildren. My life so similar to other women.
I’ve a decent pension thank goodness, we always paid extra in even when staggering month to month.
I’ve been lucky. I hope my house goes to my children rather than paying for my care.
Who knows.. I’ve been fortunate to be in work thst challenged me to save for this stage of life

My in-laws and their families didn’t own their property, nor did my paternal grandparents . But they certainly contributed to society.
Yes, as many people do but never amass much in the way of savings.

Not everyone will need care either.
However, if they do, the fees are very high - how much actually is spent on care and how much on profits for the firms which own these care homes?

A good clear post Tenko .

I think we all have a responsibility to be self-supporting if we possibly can and not expect the state to ensure that our children get a nice windfall when we die.

If that means houses beng sold to fund care, then so be it.

I was born during WW2 in this country and have been fortunate to live a life free from war in this country with access to good education, free health care and so many oher benefits pai by the state from my taxation. I do not begrudge the state taking a share of my estate when I die.

I had been thinking about that.
A lot of the women i spoke to in care homes had very hard lives.
I think they had simply worn out their bodies with years and years of hard, manual labour.

My late fil was one whom the OPs friend was ranting about as he had his care home fees paid by the state . But he and my mil paid their taxes and ni all their working lives. They just happened to have low paying jobs and were council tenants since they married . My fil worked on the railways and then was a painter and decorator. My mil was a seamstress.
They certainly weren’t scroungers .
I think some forget that those in low income jobs won’t have a mortgage or lots of savings. My in-laws and their families didn’t own their property, nor did my paternal grandparents . But they certainly contributed to society.

I think the rules are a bit easier pertaining to regular gifts.
I don't know anything much about the finance side of things, though.

Pebbles101

The seven year rule is very unfair to everyone who gets a terminal illness . My husband (75] has MNd and tho we don’t know how long it will be -it will probably be within 7 years and we would love to help our children out more now that we can afford to as now we can’t spend his hard earned money on travelling and so on . But we are tied and it incenses me because it is our money .

I'm sorry your husband has MNd.

Have you considered regular gifts out of income?

We keep good records, of course.

“Approximately 2.5% of people aged 65 and over in the UK live in care homes.

My Mum was looked after at home by my Dad, with help from a carer as she deteriorated. She died at 85.

My father-in-law lived in a care home and died at 90.
My mother-in-law lived in a care home and died at 97.
My Dad is currently living in a care home at 95.

The first three all had Alzheimer's and Dad has vascular dementia.

Plenty to look forward to for my husband and I 🙄
We're nearly 69.

Allira

Pebbles101

The seven year rule is very unfair to everyone who gets a terminal illness . My husband (75] has MNd and tho we don’t know how long it will be -it will probably be within 7 years and we would love to help our children out more now that we can afford to as now we can’t spend his hard earned money on travelling and so on . But we are tied and it incenses me because it is our money .

www.gov.uk/inheritance-tax/gifts

The £3,000 pa limit began in 1981. It has never increased.

At today's rates that should be about £15,000.

Pebbles 101 I am to hear about your husband, it must be difficult for you both.

Each parent can’t gift £3000 annually to a child and I believe also include the previous year’s allowance, if not used before.
The 7 year rule is on a sliding scale and the amount of IHT decreases as the 7 years reduce.

So true.
Its on the ball, and gets to the real nitty gritty.

keepcalmandcavachon

There is no reason to believe that someone who isn't in the position to pay for care hasn't 'paid' as much into society by other means though.
Being a low paid payed factory worker where she has perhaps contributed to her boss's wealth, or caring for a family member and therefore limiting her earing power.
In a good many cases the very people who have supported our country and worked and struggled all of their lives in harsh circumstances are now able to be treated as the rest of us.
I never take for granted my very good fortune to have been well enough/ lucky enough/stable enough/safe enough etc to have the life I want, many don't.

Best, most understanding quote here !

MissAdventure

People always provided their own toiletries in homes I've worked in.
There is money left in their kittys to pay for hairdressing, chiropody and other costs

It’s a measley amount they are left with though.
We were always doing fund raising events to raise money to buy personal care products.
Happy days 😊

Samsara1

We talk a lot about trying to manage our older years and think for us is a move to a bungalow and make it easy for things like wheelchairs etc. we talk about a suicide pact as well.

I am currently reading Lionel Shriver's book 'Should we stay or Should We go?' which fictionalises the life of a couple who decide on a pact in their after witnessing the problems their parents were facing including dementia and care issues. She then goes on to describe the various scenarios that could be the consequence of either not going through with the pact or not. It's fascinating and helpful to us who both witnessed and 'managed' our own parents decline with various degrees of horror and expense. A good read.

Absolutely will check this book out.
‘Their today is our tomorrow’.
I am thinking all the time how to improve my elderly mum’s life so she doesn’t have to go in a care home- even if it means that I move in with her.
Not everyone is fortunate to be in that position.

Yeah, of course that's fine.

MissAdventure

Yes, that must cost a fortune!

Anyway, regardless, in terms of care homes, i would report any staff who are giving out info on somebodys finances.

It’s a sackable offence to share any details of a clients personal information.
But you can’t stop residents sharing their own information.

That sounds very reasonable.

MissAdventure

I don't know who would be supplying a bottle of drink a day to a resident.
And i don't know how other people could possibly be given access to someones personal financial ststus.
It would breach data protection legislation

Our residents were all men.
As it’s their home they were free to come & go as they pleased.
Buy alcohol (a good few were alcoholics) & cigs, porn mags.
As OICs we knew who paid & who didn’t.
The ones who paid tended to move on to much nicer care homes
Nobody is worthless. All were treated the same.

Very true.
Things can change in an instant.

'People who never need hospital' so far.
No-one knows what lies in store.

They do..

Pebbles101

I am sorry to hear about your husband.
These rules seem so unfair.

Pebbles101

The seven year rule is very unfair to everyone who gets a terminal illness . My husband (75] has MNd and tho we don’t know how long it will be -it will probably be within 7 years and we would love to help our children out more now that we can afford to as now we can’t spend his hard earned money on travelling and so on . But we are tied and it incenses me because it is our money .

www.gov.uk/inheritance-tax/gifts

The £3,000 pa limit began in 1981. It has never increased.

At today's rates that should be about £15,000.

The seven year rule is very unfair to everyone who gets a terminal illness . My husband (75] has MNd and tho we don’t know how long it will be -it will probably be within 7 years and we would love to help our children out more now that we can afford to as now we can’t spend his hard earned money on travelling and so on . But we are tied and it incenses me because it is our money .