Ignorance is no excuse

Magenta8

If I felt that more than an infinitesimal amount of the large chunk of money taken by "Them" in IHT was going to be spent on providing welfare for those in need I would not feel any resentment.

I agree. HMCE are currently dibbling their fingers into my late dad’s accounts and taking an inordinate amount of money out.
I’ve never thought to ask where it goes, but I wish it could be used to help the homeless and those in great need as then I’d feel better about it.

I own my (ex-council/HA) little house thanks mostly to Aged Aunt leaving me a share of her assets when she died - in her own bed in her own house. She was determined not to end her days anywhere else if possible. Towards the end, aged 95, in addition to carers getting her up and into bed, friends and myself (the only local family member) were calling up to four times a day, taking food and providing support.

She had at one time looked forward to going into a local Care Home, (a not for profit establishment) but six weeks recovering from a broken wrist persuaded her otherwise. The place was full of (in her words) "Ga-ga old people, and if I stay I too will go ga-ga". She was then 90.

The home is still "not for profit" but the fees are truly horrendous, although less than the other local Care Homes. If any degree of nursing care is required, the weekly cost is more than my monthly net income - and I get considerably more than many Pensioners. I have no problem with selling up to fund care but the value of my house would be eaten up so quickly. Luckily my girls never expected me to have anything to leave them and accept that that might still end up being true. BUT, it is an incentive for them to enable me to remain in my own familiar surroundings as long as possible, so not all bad!

What annoys me is how 'they'( i expect means Gov't?) are taking tax on pensions,when these elderly folks have already paid the tax when they were working!? And i'm not even a pensioner yet.

Magenta8

I know from personal experience that inheritance tax and paying for care take a huge whack out of any money your parents want to pass on. The more you earn and save for the future the more "They" take. Being careful with your money is not rewarded when it comes to inheritance.

Exactly so!

M0nica

Think about running a care home. To begin with there is the cost of the premises, and the costs of running them, business rates, heating bills are enormous, insurance, matntaining it and all the euipment in it, food, laundry.

Then there are staff. When DH and I were visiting a relatve they had a fire drill. Afterwards staff gathered in the hall for debriefing. There the manager and deputy, clerk, cleaners, laundresses, cooks, gardener, maintenance man. Then there were all the staff not working at the time. DH and I reckoned there was the euivalent of one full time member of staff for every resident.

Compare the cost with a hotel room, that more likely or not will be around £100 a night with breakfast, but add on the cost of all the things a care home provides, that a hotel doesn't and Care home costs are not unreasonable they are the cost of providingall they do at today's prices.

I have seen family and friends in nearly a dozen carehomes over the years. Of course there are the really cheap ones, that local councils who want everything for nothing like, but for a decent care home, they do not sack carers when they reach 18. Most of the ones I have visited have had staff of all ages and many nationalities, the standard of care has been good and the resident is well content with their care. One relative told me he had never been happier in his life.

We are extremely happy with the care home my MiL is in, it is part of a large group, my dear Aunt was in another of their homes and her children were very happy with her care and surroundings.

My Aunt was self-funding and my MiL is council funded, the only difference was the sizes of their rooms.

The level of care, the food, the trips etc were very good, carers are excellent and some pretty mature.

Think about running a care home. To begin with there is the cost of the premises, and the costs of running them, business rates, heating bills are enormous, insurance, matntaining it and all the euipment in it, food, laundry.

Then there are staff. When DH and I were visiting a relatve they had a fire drill. Afterwards staff gathered in the hall for debriefing. There the manager and deputy, clerk, cleaners, laundresses, cooks, gardener, maintenance man. Then there were all the staff not working at the time. DH and I reckoned there was the euivalent of one full time member of staff for every resident.

Compare the cost with a hotel room, that more likely or not will be around £100 a night with breakfast, but add on the cost of all the things a care home provides, that a hotel doesn't and Care home costs are not unreasonable they are the cost of providingall they do at today's prices.

I have seen family and friends in nearly a dozen carehomes over the years. Of course there are the really cheap ones, that local councils who want everything for nothing like, but for a decent care home, they do not sack carers when they reach 18. Most of the ones I have visited have had staff of all ages and many nationalities, the standard of care has been good and the resident is well content with their care. One relative told me he had never been happier in his life.

No he liked his job. Everyone said when he fed a blind man how come he doesn't get his food all down his clothes? Because my son was patient and took his time and the others didn't

Whingey

How do they get away with charging so much? When my son worked in them they paid peanuts and got monkeys as a result! Also made excuses to sack over 18s so they could pay less

Does that description of care workers include your son 🤷‍♀️

By the way, Martin Lewis reminded us last night that fewer than 5% of estates need to pay IHT (inheritance tax.).

How do they get away with charging so much? When my son worked in them they paid peanuts and got monkeys as a result! Also made excuses to sack over 18s so they could pay less

My mother wanted to go into a care home when Dad died. She had a new lease of life. Enjoyed the company, some outings, with no worries about housework or where the next meal was coming from. She was more than happy to sell her house to pay for it, though she only lasted a few months and died aged 92.

That’s kind of how I’d envisioned my mum’s life panning out. Cossy. She’s fiercely independent (outlived two of her children) and I was shocked that she’s ended up in a care home. To be honest, I can’t see the point in mouldering away like that, there’s no pleasure to be had from it.

SueDonim

I wish my mother had spent her money on herself instead of going without in order to amass a small amount of savings from a basic pension. She could have had holidays, visited her wider family, turned up the heating or bought nicer clothes instead. She would still have ended up in the same care home but the majority of fees would have been paid by the council instead.

We encouraged my mother to spend as much as possible on herself, nice new comfy bed, proper rise and recline chair, lovely new living room curtains, and we made sure she enjoyed the food she could and the odd glass of bubbly.

She was very sensible and ensured her little house was well maintained and in good repair.

During her last years she was totally housebound, and utterly heartbroken when my darling father died, either myself or our lovely youngest daughter called in between us at least four times at week and at least twice a week prepared and ate dinner with her. Between the pair of us we did her shopping and if she felt unwell one of us would stay the night. It was hard, we both were still working full time, but she only lived 6 roads away from us.

She never wanted to go into a care home and luckily had all her marbles, but was frail and riddled with osteo arthritis.

She managed to live until her death in her own adapted home and also died at home, with myself, husband and our four children by her side.

The selling of my meagre home will mean my grandson is left with no mother, a dad who isnt interested, and nowhere to live.
We all have it "not fair" in some way or another.

I wish my mother had spent her money on herself instead of going without in order to amass a small amount of savings from a basic pension. She could have had holidays, visited her wider family, turned up the heating or bought nicer clothes instead. She would still have ended up in the same care home but the majority of fees would have been paid by the council instead.

Not everyone’s children have had it good, some have had a father that never contributed a penny towards their lives.
The only thing I ve ever owned in my life is my house
I d rather fall down the stairs and die than give it to the government

MissAdventure

I bet it was you who wasn't serious enough, wasn't it?

Oh goodness, no, I am always thoughtful and erudite! 😀

Smileless2012

I agree. Nobody is entitled to a legacy.

I don't think that being able to pay for care in old age is being penalised Grantanow. Are the ones who wont have any inheritance or less than they hoped for the ones being penalised?

Should tax payers pay more in tax to fund the care of the elderly so their children can have an inheritance?

What's the alternative? If the State were to spend far more on social care which I agree should happen, it will never be able to finance it totally.

During work training courses was the place I'd usually get the titters.
Sometimes the trainers would inadvertently say things that sounded quite rude - a bit "carry on film"...

Many many people simply didn’t earn enough to “save” for old age, didn’t own their own houses and were certainly not scroungers!

I think it’s utterly hilarious when someone feels it necessary to “tell someone off” on here!

Sometimes, some people (me) deal with very heavy, depressing stuff by using humour, sometimes quite deliberately, sometimes it’s totally random and unplanned, I often used to get awful attacks of giggles at the most inappropriate times, it still happens, but much less often. I got told off often at school and glared at in meetings whilst at work! or some smart a**e would ask “would you like to share your joke”.

My mother in law eventually had to go into a care home. She had lived in a council flat since 1948, had no career and had worked as a classroom assistant. Her husband had never had the sort of job that produces a pension so all she had was her state pension. Her accommodation in the home was free, but was noticeably poorer that the rooms of the paying inmates. She certainly wasn't living in luxury at the tax payer's expense.

I bet it was you who wasn't serious enough, wasn't it?

MissAdventure

Oh...
Cut myself off
Probably just as well.

Oh, thank goodness you're back!

Some threads can get so heavy and posters have been told off for not being serious enough ......

Oh...
Cut myself off
Probably just as well.