Desperately sad story of the assisted suicide of a grieving mother

JenniferEccles

Wendy Duffy’s only son died in tragic circumstances four years ago and his mother said her heart was too broken to carry on, so she travelled to Dignitas yesterday.

There will be differing opinions of course but who can decide how much anguish anyone can endure?

The question in your post - who can decide how much anguish anyone can endure? - is the pertinent one I think. All the other considerations regarding euthanasia, like safeguards, age restriction, etc, are sort of academic, if the principle is accepted; that being IMO, that it is an unacceptable arrogance to assume the right to dictate how much mental anguish or physical pain another individual should tolerate. Even if, as is probably often the case, that assumption comes from a good heart, a well-meaning one.

I think many of us believe that, with the right support, proper counselling, care, time, and medication if the suffering is physical, people can endure. But, if you read about some cases of suicide, it becomes apparent that the sufferer did in fact have the love and support of family and friends, even proper professional counselling but, regardless, their misery, their depression, could not be borne.

I cannot imagine being in that mental state of mind, but clearly people are sometimes, and the very fact that I can't imagine it, is the very reason why I should not be the one to decide how much another person must endure in order to make me feel comfortable.

The minimum age in the bill is 18. So the answer is hypothetically yes.

The trouble that I see with this is that if its legal, does that mean a person 18 years of age can choose this even though their brain has not fully developed due to their young age?

I think, Basgetti, that polls reporting on views regarding assisted dying are more nuanced than you suggest.
I'm not sure that every poll supports your postulation that " a large majority of the uk population agrees with euthanasia", and, of course, when debated in Parliament, MPs are, in fact, elected.
Our Member of Parliament held meetings to seek the views of her constituents on the matter.
I am ambivalent in this, and my heart goes out to anyone suffering so much.

Also, i dont think it should be a group class. It should be one-on-one confidential sessions.

Galaxy

I would say very generally is fine but no absolutely not to anything specific, we wouldn't ask teachers to treat a broken leg in the classroom.

And we wouldnt ask teachers to get training so that they could treat those broken legs. Thats why the schools employed a school nurse.

I would say very generally is fine but no absolutely not to anything specific, we wouldn't ask teachers to treat a broken leg in the classroom.

The idea of young people learning about grief in school makes sense, but it needs doing with care by someone who feels confident in what they are doing and I can understand that many teachers might find this hard, especially as virtually all will have suffered their own losses and may find it difficult to discuss the topic.
There is a limit to what teachers should be asked to do and outside input might be needed.
The information that parents receive when a child enters the school could usefully ask that school be informed about any bereavement or illnesses that happens in the family so they can respond accordingly.

Interesting article Wyllow3. Why do schools put this requirement on teachers? When I thought grief care should be taught in schools, I didn't mean that teachers should pay to become therapists. I am very much against that ! I thought the schools could employ a full time (educated) mental health counselor.

www.thestillmethod.co.uk/news/september-2026-the-grief-education-requirement-most-teachers-dont-know-about-yet 😠

Whingey - what a shock it must have been - so sorry 😢

What a terrible shock for you Whingey
I am so sorry.

Whingey - I am so very sorry to read of your tragedy.

That's so lovely. When I have dreams of loved ones who have passed on, it is very comforting, but then I feel rather deflated when I wake up, realising it was just a dream. It is important to talk of them often, I find that is when I then dream about them, like they're thanking you for still keeping them in conversation. Grief is the price you pay for loving, loss is a terrible thing, it feels so final, but I do hang on to the hope that we will all be together again some day, that gives me comfort. I hope you believe that too, there has to be more than this 💐.

Whingey

I saw him in a dream.Told him I will be with him when I can

I'm terribly sorry to hear this. Sometimes dreams are very powerful indeed.

I saw him in a dream.Told him I will be with him when I can

That's terribly tragic, Whingey. So sorry for your loss. May your son rest in peace and I hope that one day you will be reunited with your darling boy 🙏.

Found my boy dead 10 years ago.The heartache will never go away 😭

Motherduck Your words are lovely.
I am sorry for your loss. Best wishes from a fellow grieving mother.

It is hiw our current democratic system works. Many many people ( including disability groups) thought it was a terrible bill, led by someone who didn't have the capacity to discuss the complex issues.

Galaxy

No society doesn't work like that.
Well I mean if you believe that everyone's individuals right trumps everything else then yes I suppose it can.

A large majority of the uk population agrees with euthanasia, poll after poll supports that.
A handful of unelected people filibustered and talked it out.
Thats not how society works!

No society doesn't work like that.
Well I mean if you believe that everyone's individuals right trumps everything else then yes I suppose it can.

GrannyGravy13

I cannot imagine her pain at losing her son, but going to Dignitas due to a broken heart doesn’t seem right to me.

Well that’s ok, you don’t have to.
It was right for this lady and that’s what counts.

I am torn apart by this case. When I read of a parent or parents loosing an only child, I find it impossibly to imagine their life long agony at the loss af all that might have been. I saw my parents agony at losing one of three children, more than that I cannot say.

But, but, but. The newspage that told this mother's death, may she rest in peace, also included the story of a Mexican mother going to her son's home with a gun and shooting her DiL, saying 'He (her son) is mine not yours' . Can we love too much and where is the dividing line?

LOUISA1523

It makes for very sad reading ....you can't imagine feeling that the 'better' option is death....but we don't walk in her shoes

Other peoples shoes do not fit anyway. They are uncomfortable in all the wrong places.

That's so true in an ideal way, but not all families are able to manage it sadly. Often it has to be someone else who turns out to be the 'helpful listener", because feeling truly heard is probably the most important things of all, certainly intitally.

It will be truly good if the new school plans are effective. For the older teenagers, being able to cope with most of what has been written above would be wonderful, wouldn't it? But a big ask for teachers.

In the USA (tho being cut down atm sadly) as far as I understand, many schools have a counsellor.