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Desperately sad story of the assisted suicide of a grieving mother

(106 Posts)
JenniferEccles Fri 24-Apr-26 17:09:37

Wendy Duffy’s only son died in tragic circumstances four years ago and his mother said her heart was too broken to carry on, so she travelled to Dignitas yesterday.

There will be differing opinions of course but who can decide how much anguish anyone can endure?

Jaxjacky Fri 24-Apr-26 22:13:04

Wyllow3

It's not easy to get tablets that can kill yourself for that these days any more: unless you stash really huge amounts of prescription drugs, you'd have to buy illegally on the street.

It's not like in an Agatha Christie novel where one bottle will kill you. It was like that with the older drugs.

They have discontinued the use of some MH related drugs that carried a high risk. Some people will take a huge, huge dose of Paracetamol but you don't just "go to sleep" like imagined: days of pain and extreme symptoms first, for example.

Not easy, but there’s a black market for many drugs.

LadyGaGa Fri 24-Apr-26 21:55:10

My sister died very suddenly when she was 30 (I was 24). My mum carried on as a broken woman until she died about 8 years later. I know for a fact that if she had had the chance to opt for assisted suicide she would have taken it. It’s so incredibly sad, and even though I don’t fully agree with it, I understand it.
Primrose💐

Smileless2012 Fri 24-Apr-26 21:52:33

Primrose flowers x

Patsy70 Fri 24-Apr-26 21:21:53

Primrose53 ♥️ 💐

Wyllow3 Fri 24-Apr-26 21:12:41

Aw, Primrose, flowers.
Many sympathies.

Esmay Fri 24-Apr-26 20:51:58

Grief is a terrible and unavoidable human condition.
Dealing with it isn't easy.
I've been told that I ought to got over my father's death.
I haven't.

My heart goes out to this poor woman.
I can only imagine the excruciating pain she's endured since her son died in such tragic circumstances.
As a Christian,taking my life would be a sin,but I understand her.

May she rest in peace.

Primrose53 Fri 24-Apr-26 20:49:53

I can understand how she feels and I hope that by now she is at peace as the story suggests.

My son says he has the Sword of Damocles hanging over him as he deals with pancreatic cancer. Nearly a year now it’s been going on and he and us are emotionally drained.
It’s been non stop tests, scans, long journeys to different hospitals, major surgery, gruelling chemotherapy, blood tests, feeding tubes, exhaustion and stress. I don’t think we have had a completely hospital related week in all that time.

I can well imagine feeling like this poor lady if my son doesn’t make it. We try to stay positive though.

crazyH Fri 24-Apr-26 20:35:45

Poor woman - how desperately sad 💔
My faith tells me I will see my parents and my favourite brother again. That keeps me going .
I see my mother a lot in my dreams but not so much my father or my brother.

Harris27 Fri 24-Apr-26 20:12:04

Threes sons of my own poor woman she must have been devastated.

Wyllow3 Fri 24-Apr-26 19:59:09

Of course you can buy enough paracetamol. What I was saying is that it’s not a peaceful painless death like going to sleep.
It results in the failure of key organs and it’s long, slow and painful.
Or as above leaves the person taking it with severe body malfunctions.

Psychiatrists have been factoring this in for a long time, ie withdrawal of drugs the can easily allow a person to take their own life. And non psychiatric drugs that can be life threatening are not given out in big chunks.

rafichagran Fri 24-Apr-26 19:57:45

Poor woman. It was her only son and she could not see a way out. I can't say she was wrong because she felt so utterly wretched, bereft, and saw no light at the end if the tunnell.

BlueBelle Fri 24-Apr-26 19:23:42

Wyllow I don’t agree, you can go to two or three different pharmacies and get enough paracetamol to take your own life enough people do it every day ! That’s why the rule of only being able to buy a couple of packets is a joke, in fact you could go to the same pharmacy half an hour later !!!

It happens every day unfortunately
I wouldn’t have the guts but many, many do unfortunately

JenniferEccles Fri 24-Apr-26 19:17:01

Oh yes, sorry you are right UTTBB.
It wasn’t Dignitas but another clinic with less strict eligibility criteria.

Oldnproud Fri 24-Apr-26 18:40:37

BlueBelle

Well she was fit and was able why go to Dignatas she could take tablets herself lay on her own bed and go herself

From what I have read previously - in several cases, here on Gransnet - DIY overdosing is a risky business, and it is not uncommon for people to misjudge the quantity of their chosen drug that is needed, resulting in them surviving but with dreadful lasting physical repercussions to add to their mental trauma!

Wyllow3 Fri 24-Apr-26 18:33:40

It's not easy to get tablets that can kill yourself for that these days any more: unless you stash really huge amounts of prescription drugs, you'd have to buy illegally on the street.

It's not like in an Agatha Christie novel where one bottle will kill you. It was like that with the older drugs.

They have discontinued the use of some MH related drugs that carried a high risk. Some people will take a huge, huge dose of Paracetamol but you don't just "go to sleep" like imagined: days of pain and extreme symptoms first, for example.

Usedtobeblonde Fri 24-Apr-26 18:28:19

This lady didn’t go to Dignitas I understand.
She would not have passed the criteria for Dignitas and the place she did use is not as regulated.

merlotgran Fri 24-Apr-26 18:25:06

I haven’t read the article. Too painful but I’m so sorry that the poor woman couldn’t move on enough to make her life worth living.

keepingquiet Fri 24-Apr-26 18:25:01

BlueBelle

Well she was fit and was able why go to Dignatas she could take tablets herself lay on her own bed and go herself

My thoughts too- why involve anyone else in making a decision they may later regret?

Grief does funny things to people, but helping someone to die like this seems all kinds of wrong.

BlueBelle Fri 24-Apr-26 18:22:04

Well she was fit and was able why go to Dignatas she could take tablets herself lay on her own bed and go herself

Wyllow3 Fri 24-Apr-26 18:09:45

I think using the word " broken heart" is how she put it, almost trite: but to call it a profound depression utterly beyond reach is what some suffer.

Wyllow3 Fri 24-Apr-26 18:08:33

Read the article, it did help me understand? I also thought of those it might affect, but she seems to be a loner.

GrannyGravy13 Fri 24-Apr-26 18:05:46

I cannot imagine her pain at losing her son, but going to Dignitas due to a broken heart doesn’t seem right to me.

Kate1949 Fri 24-Apr-26 18:01:18

Poor lady. Who knows what she was going through? When my lovely nephew died at 16, his mother couldn't cope. She died of a heart attack aged 49.

keepingquiet Fri 24-Apr-26 17:59:48

This is very sad- I wonder if she has any other family who are now grieving her loss?

Willfully assisting someone to die in these circumstances does not sit easily with me...

Wyllow3 Fri 24-Apr-26 17:57:20

It used to be a sin and you wouldn't see your son but we are past that now? (not sure on my theology here)