Would you tell her?

How about..^sort of letting her decide^

When you are out with her and she is dressed in the way you feel really doesnt do any favours, how about saying "lets get a photo of the two of us to remember us" and ask a third party with your mobile. When she see it, she can decide for herself? That would be the limit of me saying anything I think.

I would actually appreciate being told nicely what really suits me and what doesn't, I'm not that confident. I did get a short skirt from a charity shop with leggings, the mirror told me..."Don't go there", even tho my legs are OK shape wise for leggings, not slim but good enough. I like bright clothes tho no need to hide away, walk tall, walk proud whatever.

The thing about long hair depends on your face. Faces that have taken a bit of a saggy direction, long hair can emphasise that downward movement look. (can look fab piled up on top, however)

"And rafichagran no not catty, my friend is slim and looks after her fitness by doing lots of sports, as a result she has muscular calves."

So what I dont find that unattractive it shows she looks after herself. Sounds good to me. You also got a dig in about her looking older. I find what you said about your friend unpleasant.

I had to look her up Dickens as I’m a curious person.

And Daphne Selfe.

i would let her be, no point in saying something that might cause you to fall out. i am 62 and due to problems with legs and feet and i wear straight leg jogging trousers and trainers all the time, i buy nice tops, cardigans and jumpers, i never wear anything low cut or off the shoulder, i know i am 62 and not 22 when the fashion at that time was the skirts with the split up the side and blouses that showed of my 44c bust. but it is each to there own.

NOYB

I agree with what others have written. If your friend feels happy in her clothes thats fine. I certainly wouldn't want to be the 'friend' who hurt her feelings.

When she looks nice I would compliment her, when she looks any different I would mention it. What she wears is her choice. The only time I ever need to mention my OH choice of what to wear is on the rare occasion that he wears a tie…….he is colour blind and he sometimes chooses one that clashes with his shirt…….thats all, no criticism, no drama!

Make no comment

Good on that lady, is what I say!

Sod what anyone else thinks, it's her body, not anyone else's, and if she wants to dress that way, then why not?

Replying to Basgeti’s comment:
Very, very few older people can carry off the Judi pixie cut and would frankly look a great deal better with long hair!
I didn’t mean older ladies should all have very short hair. There are plenty of flattering short or medium styles. Long hair draws the face down and is unflattering. However long hair pinned up can look very elegant.

I'd be far more likely to tell the people who are saying she looks silly to stop being so nasty.

Deadwitch - good on you, but then they'd probably go on sniggering but behind your back as well.

Your friend looks silly to you OP but how do you know she looks silly to anyone else?

Am bemused why you think your opinion of the way your "friend" dresses is more valid/important than her's.
How would you feel if she told you that you looked frumpy?
It really is none of your business !

It it highly likely that others will be laughing at her behind her back. Not kind. Not kind either to patronisingly praise her sartorial choices.

If she's a good friend and a nice person I wouldn't give a hoot if she's happy with her look that's all that matters

Aveline

It it highly likely that others will be laughing at her behind her back. Not kind. Not kind either to patronisingly praise her sartorial choices.

That's a good point Aveline.

I've seen it. I've also experienced it.

I was in Vienna, it was winter, and I was wearing black velvet shorts with a sweater. The shorts were most definitely not short; I wore them with thick black tights and flat shoes. In the UK, no-one would have given me a second glance, but in culturally conservative Austria, I garnered some disdainful looks. I was peering into a shop window and could see behind me two women - around my age then (early 50s) sniggering at me. It was very uncomfortable and I never wore the outfit again, even though I thought it was a very sober one. Silly me for not observing the 'when in Rome... advice. My OH told me to ignore, said I looked "great", but it's really not nice to be mocked, and I'd want to protect a friend from experiencing that.

Aveline It it highly likely that others will be laughing at her behind her back.
How on earth do you know? Have you met the OP’s friend or seen pictures of her?

janeainsworth have you?
It must be bad if the OP has had to seek advice on it. We've all seen people in terrible ill judged outfits. It's human nature to notice.

Cossy

Sago

I would comment when she dresses appropriately and really compliment her, stay quiet when she looks grim!

Yes!

I would add it’s absolutely no one’s business how any other human dresses, so unless she is forgetting to put her knickers on or her boobs are showing, back off!

I don’t wear knickers in the summertime when wearing a very long ankle length cotton generous Gypsy style skirt😳💃🏻
Apparently gypsies don’t either, but I’m not one, although my grandfather and mother read cards (before the world and his wife took it up…)

Aveline

I had a boss who was so proud of her long flowing locks. It was a ghastly fright when she turned round and we could see her old face 🙁.

1666 (sixteen from the back, 66 from the front). Actually 66 doesn’t seem that old to me now…

Martha Argerich could do with a trim, I don’t care how talented she is. Also Mary Beard. They get paid enough.

Aveline janeainsworth have you?
No I haven’t. That’s why I’m not judging the OP’s friend.
I have no idea why the OP ‘needed to seek advice’ about something that’s clearly none of her business.

janeainsworth

Aveline janeainsworth have you?
No I haven’t. That’s why I’m not judging the OP’s friend.
I have no idea why the OP ‘needed to seek advice’ about something that’s clearly none of her business.

Could not put it better myself. Her OP and follow up post said some pretty nasty things. Looking older than her age, not nice slim legs as she had big calves from working out. So what. I think the post was spiteful.

I go to a group where there is a lady in her mid 70s. She is about 6ft tall and quite portly. She must have been a stunner in her time. She insists on dressing like someone from the punk era with tight leggings and vest tops with her hair piled on her head and Doc Martins. She is well spoken, well educated and has a very active social life. She is very pleasant but when I look at her I think 'You don't make the most of yourself, but that is only my opinion. She seems happy in her skin and is happy with her life. Live and let live.