Dreading the Countdown to Christmas and the day itself.

Like some other Grans on here my first without DH. We were together 65 years.

Last year he was in Hospital and Christmas morning I had just the WI gift bag to open - so I felt a bit sorry for myself.

So completely without him this year. I will join my DD2 and family for the day and raise a glass to memories.

💐blossom14

A very kind and thoughtful thread which recognises that Christmas triggers complicated emotions. I look back with gratitude on many past celebrations, including announcing our engagement on Christmas Eve 1961, and rather dread the gap at the centre of this year’s festivities. I will however keep the sadness to myself and do my best to enjoy everything I possibly can.

Lovely caring post magenta well said

Thank you everybody for adding their thoughts and memories. In just over a week's time it will all be over for another year.

My husband always disliked Christmas. I know now that he was autistic and disliked all the noise and fuss, and never knew how to react to being given presents. However much I miss him the day does run more smoothly without him. I shall have the children and grandchildren over so no time to brood. I do worry about my oldest friend. Her husband died 5 years ago and they had no children. She always spends Christmas day with the rest of her family although it means travelling. Her very close friend, who she would have spent a lot of time with. died suddenly this summer so she will be feeling a bit lost. We had a Christmas Lunch out together yesterday and plan to do something nice after Christmas.

I was partway through getting sorted, in a simple kind of way, until I had a setback and am stuck in bed at the moment in pain. So have now just accepted some things will get left a bit messy (the bedroom!) and someone else will have to wrap the presents (OH). I had made a huge effort to make a Christmas cake this year, which still needs marzipan - I should be able to manage that as a one off!. I don't do icing - just marzipan, a sprinkling of icing sugar and the decs on top. However we are going out for Christmas lunch so not much cooking to worry about. Just need to get there carefully!

May I suggest that people who don’t like Christmas give up celebrating it. It’s simple really ,go to church and celebrate the birth of Christ or ditch the whole lot and celebrate Saturnalia and drink and hammer the credit cards. I’m baffled that there are some who put themselves into debt for something they don’t believe in

We are celebrating Christmas with my daughter's cat.

Floradora9

We are celebrating Christmas with my daughter's cat.

Will make a nice change from turkey Floradora9

Talking of cats, I have bought and wrapped some little gifties for my DD's cat. I must be getting soft as I never did anything like that for the numerous cats I shared my home with over the years.

Six sleeps to go. I hope everyone is bearing up.

Magenta8

Reading this back it sounds rather patronising. I didn't mean it to be.

Thank you Magenta. It's not patronising at all, and I appreciate it very much. I have been wondering if I should opt to spend Christmas day at home alone, or be taken to Son's and Daughter inlaw's house. Your post helped me decide,I think.

Stansgran

May I suggest that people who don’t like Christmas give up celebrating it. It’s simple really ,go to church and celebrate the birth of Christ or ditch the whole lot and celebrate Saturnalia and drink and hammer the credit cards. I’m baffled that there are some who put themselves into debt for something they don’t believe in

Good idea however it's not as simple as that. Christmas may be the absolutely only occasion family members come together and meet each other.

So sorry for anyone who has suffered a bereavement or family estrangement at this time of year.
We have had a horrible year health wise and in many other ways, but will be hosting Christmas just for one daughter, son in law and grandchild, others will come on Christmas Eve, have booked a meal out. Are just really getting through it so we can hopefully welcome a healthier and less stressful new year.
Is not something we have been looking forward to.

The Christmas social event is a problem for me. If I were to ask God what he wants me to do about the Christmas social event ---?
The first consideration would be to put others before self . But my kind relations are so willing and welcoming. They only want me to be happy.

My problem is my unpredictable toileting needs . Sometimes I have a toileting emergency requiring a change of clothing -it is that bad.
At the same time my relations have to know my plans and I cannot leave my decision until the Day itself. Please advise me, anyone.

Thank you Magenta8 a lovely posting. Our Christmas will be different this year as our youngest daughter and grandson will be coming Christmas Eve and staying until Boxing Day. It will the first Christmas without her husband, our sin-in-law accompanying her as they are mid divorce. I am vey sad for them both but it was inevitable and a long time coming. I shall be sad to lose my son-in-law, for all his strange ways we did get on very well. My other son-in-law died a few years and is much missed by us all. I shall miss this having these wider family members and hop that in the future both daughters find the happiness they deserve. DH has had a year of chequered health problems but seems his old irritating self now. I hope every one has Peace this Christmas and a chance to care for themselves as well as others. We shall drink as we always do to 'Absent Friends' at our Christmas Table. Merry Christmas everyone xxx

Sorry to hear about your problems Caleo. It sounds a though your relations really want to include you in their plans for Christmas. I am not qualified to advise on your toileting needs apart from wondering if it would be possible for you to wear special pants and try to remain within easy reach of toilets.

In my opinion it would be a shame for you to miss out but if it would stress you so much that you wouldn't enjoy it perhaps give it a miss. Only you can decide.

I love my kids dearly, but this year I’m so glad we are on our own. The run up is going to be very busy as we have pantos and lunches etc. I’m still cooking Xmas lunch and a Boxing Day lunch, then relax.

I think about my cousin Sheila she’s in Alabama and Lynn her husband passed away less than a year ago. They had 57 years together and she’s not coping all that well there’s not a lot of stability with her two adopted children and I think this adds to the inability to be happy so she’s on my mind a lot and I check in on her via text. Sometimes I wish I was back in the states just so I could sit and go talk with Sheila.

We have a heavy police presence in town today. They have vans and they are flashing cameras at people as they walk by. I gather they are using face recognition equipment. I believe it is supposed to be reassuring but having grown up with the Met, I just find it threatening and unpleasant.

We had a whole gang of them in cars whizzing around with their sirens and blue flashing lights yesterday evening. I am not sure why.

We don't really 'do' Christmas - had enough of that when the children were young and I had a husband that expected 'the works'! Will see daughter and 3 grandsons on 14th as it is the eldest birthday and the middle one is cooking lunch :-)

I will be working 24th/25th - it's a bad time for people with mental health problems and domestic situations - and some time after.

Solstice Greetings to all

This will be the first christmas since my husband died 2nd January this year,he was in hospital last christmas and never came home.Just my 2 dog,s and myself I was thinking of going out for christmas dinner but it,s so expensive plus a bit of a walk to the nearest one that serves it, I also thought about ordering in or just having something nice festive or not,but I thought i.ll do a turkey as usual but do it at my leisure eat it at the time i want to eat it and the dogs will have theirs as well obviously modified for them they will have a sprout or 2. My youngest son has just moved to Scotland after he and his wife had been staying with my eldest son in Coventry after they sold their house in Norfolk so wont be seeing them

It’s a lovely post, I’m starting to not really like Christmas although I loved it when my children and grandchildren were little, I used to be excited but now I only have one of my seven grandchildren who is little.
I know how lucky I am having my family around we go there for Christmas dinner and they come to me for Boxing Day buffet tea, I used to think my daughter was miserable when she said it’s just buying presents they don’t need and overeating and drinking, but now I realise I feel the same way ( she does put a face on for everyone) I think next year we will go on a cruise