Things you’ve found funny.

We were waiting in-line for coffee from a small machine at the back of our church. It was a very slow process, dripping slowly into the cups. My husband queried whether the coffee machine had a prostate problem.

This exchange happened years ago and it still makes me laugh .
It's particularly funny to me because my mother was so prim and proper and also naive at times .
Two guys were doing some work for her .
They came into the kitchen to say that they had finished and for their payment .
My mother asked one guy if he wanted to wash his tool in the sink .
They both laughed so much .
She looked totally blank .

I drove to the shops one day...just 100 yards, left the car behind the shops. wakled past it on the way home, then realised what I had done when I got home,,,so I had to walk back hoping no one had noticed, but a neighbour shouted over.....I see you forgot the car...can't keep anything secret...

Magenta8

I was putting stale bread out on the lawn for the birds with my mother and I remarked that some of the bread was rock hard.
My mother replied "It's good for their teeth."

Magenta8...my ribs are sore laughing....some of those birds have very sharp teeth

I know a retired primary school teacher and they told me that when their headteacher took the lead from Jamie Oliver's healthy school meals initiative, some of the parents were very angry when they were told that the children could only bring water into school to drink. One parent tried to get a doctor's letter saying that their child could only drink cola as they were allergic to water. Another parent complained that the school was making their child eat leaves.

I was putting stale bread out on the lawn for the birds with my mother and I remarked that some of the bread was rock hard.
My mother replied "It's good for their teeth."

Conversation overheard on holiday.
Derek I'll get the coffees
Margaret I'll have a cappuccino
Derek they don't do cappuccinos
Margaret ok I'll have a Bacardi and coke.
Derek but it's 10.05 (20 second pause)in the morning.

Names have been changed

I decided to drive to the country park instead of walking there as I usually do. I enjoyed the walk round the park. When I arrived home I realised I'd left the car at the park.