A simple Christmas thread, alone or with a partners - whether by choice, or necessity

Being a widow is tough. Even for a Pollyanna like me, I sometimes want to howl at the moon about my loss. So Christmas, with all its high emotion raises those feelings of loss.
grandMattie, we could arrange a virtual crying our eyes out because we miss them so much. Gransnet in the past had some cracking virtual get togethers, The huge space our loved husbands/life partners can’t be filled but we can find joy xx

Since DH’s death I have been glad to host a couple of friends who would otherwise be on their own, but this year I may be home alone and really don’t mind- I have nearly sixty years of shared Christmases to look back on, many with a house full, including the years when DS asked university friends who were dealing with family rifts; I must say we all behaved better when there were other people in the house!

I shall see DS before and DD after the event, I expect, and will go with whatever flow is happening. And I will be glad to be spared the big shop and cook sessions!

M0nica
Yes of course, not all fake.
( but I’m worried I’m turning into Scrooge haha )

I love Christmas, it is my favourite time of the year.
I have 3 meals with friends arranged in November, December I have kept free, I love my real tree, food I enjoy and buying presents for close family, also have 3 birthdays close to Christmas, son, partner, Grandchild.
The above said, through choice, Christmas day will just be me and my partner. After that I feel its over, its all the lead up to me.
I don't spend a fortune either. Its a shame that some people only associate Christmas with commercialism. I am going to enjoy it.

grandMattie

DD would be devastated if I didn’t spend Christmas with her family.
Honestly? I’d be happy sitting at home with my marmite sandwich, crying my eyes out because I miss DH so much…

Can you do a compromise, grandMattie? I recall your loss when I used to pop into the Early thread for a while. Opening pressies and a meal, but with that ever useful line "gran's very tired now but we'll see her tomorrow" etc.

Christmas day is a big build up , only to be left feeling deflated by 6pm,

DD would be devastated if I didn’t spend Christmas with her family.
Honestly? I’d be happy sitting at home with my marmite sandwich, crying my eyes out because I miss DH so much…

The advantage of volunteering for a charity has its advantages if one truly needs to avoid really tough situations including loneliness

"Oh, I've offered to hep out X this year with their meals, terribly sorry, cant let them down...."

I thought of that too, AuntieE, if I have the energy.. Try the local food banks too, they may be running things. (maybe even kids involved)

You'd be in the company of some good people who volunteer and help people out too - there will be all life there too - cheer, and sadness, stories to share and yours too.

Since my husband died two years ago, I have spent one rather unsatisfactory Christmas dinner with one friend the first year. Last year, I asked her in good time if she would like to come to my place, and was told rather abruptly that she had made other arrangements. So I had a couple of younger friends staying over Christmas, which was fine.

They have parted glad rags since, and son and DIL are in a long distance relationship. As yet I do not know if she is coming home to him, or he going to her, but I doubt they will be coming here.

I feel hesitant to ask single friends this early what their plans are, but realise that I may by leaving it, find myself spending Christmas quite alone, which I would rather not.

Might try volunteering to help out at Salvation Army or the like.

on my own by choice and now having to listen to my mother moaning about being on her own from now till christmas.

i will celebrate christmas alone again. 5 years ago my daughter disassociated herself and her daughters. she died 2 years ago and i haven't seen my grandaugters since the funeral.
as a result of my daughter's death my son disassociated himself 2 years ago and i haven't seen or heard anything from him and his 2 daughters ever since.
i don't have many friends unfortunately and they are tied up with families over christmas.
so i shall enjoy my day eating and drinking when and whatever i want and i'll watch whatever i want to watch on tv.
but i'll have the decorations up and the tree so i'll feel christmassy and enjoy my day.

I have no idea! I just wait and see how it turns out........🤣🥱🌲

Kandinsky

The big happy family Christmas’s like you see in the adverts are very fake in my opinion. I’ve had Christmas’s where I’ve had 15 people for dinner ( all family ) and whilst it’s enjoyable ( in parts ) it’s stressful and exhausting. I remember our Covid Christmas when it was just me, dh and our youngest son. It was bliss. And I felt guilty for feeling like that.
I love my grandkids, but I’ve had enough of all the noise after 3 hours.
I love a quiet Christmas

Unbelievable...

We agree.

(falls off chair)

🙂

DH,DD and me. Plenty to f champagne, a nice meal and a few movies. Sorted.

If all goes to plan I’ll have a pre-Christmas trip to my Mum’s, then home for Christmas Eve. Family all coming Christmas Day, and then just OH and myself at home after that. The family will be off to visit the other GP’s.

We enjoy a good long walk and eating left overs in the time between Christmas and New Year.

I am expecting to have an op just before Christmas so dh and I have opted to be on our own this year.

We have had 23 people once and if we had the whole family now I think it would be 25 - i am not up to doing that.

I have had my share of big family Christmases with 12 or more for dinner. I loved it but it would be too much now and I no longer have my large house.
Since I moved to my little flat I haven't hosted a Christmas but have been invited to different family members homes. I can't drive far now so wondering what my Christmas will be this year.

My third Christmas in a nursing home, staff are great, family will FaceTime, the one day in year when I miss many

Kandinsky

The big happy family Christmas’s like you see in the adverts are very fake in my opinion. I’ve had Christmas’s where I’ve had 15 people for dinner ( all family ) and whilst it’s enjoyable ( in parts ) it’s stressful and exhausting. I remember our Covid Christmas when it was just me, dh and our youngest son. It was bliss. And I felt guilty for feeling like that.
I love my grandkids, but I’ve had enough of all the noise after 3 hours.
I love a quiet Christmas

i think big Christmases can be exhausting, but it does not mean that big happy Christmases are fake.

The most people I have had is 8, but, it is only my nearest and dearest, who can be ordered around and set to work as required and I have cut Christmas lunch to essentials, the meat, in all its forms roast potaoes, sprouts and gravy. Also everyone present is actually staying with us for up to a week.

Every big Christmas alternates with a small one with only us and DD. So I get the best of both worlds. None of my big happy family Christmases has ever been fake, but not perfect either. I am not sure that i would want a perfect Christmas. It is the imperfections of each Christmas that make them uniquely ours.

Yes indeed Monica everyone should celebrate as they see fit or not celebrate at all, if that is their choice. This year we are going out for Christmas lunch it is our treat to ourselves as there is just the two of us. There are lots of different family traditions around Christmas and lovely if people can come together if that is what they want. If not then just treat it as another day and eat what you want and do what pleases you.

Chat...thanks, will be able to find it.
Thanks.

Nowadays I find the build up to Christmas exhausting with shopping,cooking, sorting and wrapping gifts etc. My husband is semi retired but helps out more than he did. We have one child who invites us round for the big day. I would love nothing more than to just stay home and relax. DH and I are agreed whilst the GC are small and love the magic of the season we will go and make it an enjoyable day for them and us.They grow so fast it won’t last for ever.

Maremia

Thank you Kitty. Will look out for that.
Who is Mick?

Mick is Michael12 and you’ll find his Good Morning posts under the Chat forum. He posts everyday with day and date so you’ll always be able to find him 😀

Thank you Kitty. Will look out for that.
Who is Mick?