Entitled Parents on Public Transport

I agree with you about some OAPs thinking they can say what they like and be as rude as they please just because they are old. Twas ever thus. However, l still think that we should all be considerate of each other, which includes looking out for those who are most in need of help and l do think that society has become more selfish since the sixties.

It's never too late to acquire social skills.

I got on a busy bus just last week; no empty seats, standing room only, beside where I stood, a mother with small toddler occupying two. I made eye contact, smiled and asked "May I sit on this seat please". Withsome grimacing and eye-rolling she put the baby on her lap , I sat down and thanked her.

( I got a seat. She got a free lesson on courtesy and female assertiveness)

I've often been seated on a full bus, when a disabled person or pregnant woman /woman with baby got on . If no younger person offers their seat I get up and give them mine. Then I target the nearest younger person than me, M or F, look them in the eye and ask "May I sit down please" Nobody has ever refused.

White hair is a super-power.

There is a difficulty with priority seating on buses and trains, passengers often don’t realise they are sitting on a priority seat, they should be highlighted in a much more striking fashion than just a slightly different colour of seat or a notice above it that nobody reads. When I ask politely for someone to give up a priority seat for my disabled DH I do firstly ask if they need a priority seat and quite often they don’t and were unaware they are sitting on one. Have come across people who mutter and tut all the same when they have to give it up, but there are those who apologise and get up immediately.
There really is no point having priority seating if people don’t know about it.

I am regularly offered a seat on crowded London tube trains. I decline the offer for short journeys on the grounds that it is easier to stand for a couple of stops than to struggle up from a seat!

Having born the brunt of senior citizen disapproval for many years I promised myself that when I got old I would not bang on about "Young people today".

I endure and have endured far more rude, selfish behaviour from pensioners over the years than I have from children and younger people. Some oldies think that their advanced years give them carte blanche to be as obnoxious as they like but everyone should kowtow to them.

I was a teenager in the 1960s and we were thought to be dreaded end. No previous generation in the history of the world had been as awful.

Dee1012

On the other hand, my son is in his early 40's and looks like a tall, healthy man.
However his first stroke was at the age of 28 and he's had numerous spinal surgeries so his mobility isn't great and neither is his balance.

I've lost count of the number of times I've had to challenge someone who has either expected him to move on public transport or who has made passive - aggressive comments about him sitting down and not offering his seat.

He can buy a lanyard online which shows he has a disability and so needs a seat, whether he would want to wear it is another matter. When my DH was on the stroke ward there were some younger victims, it must be hard for them and others when their disability isn’t visible.

A couple of years ago I went to London and several times was offered a seat on the underground, a new experience, which I neither needed nor particularly wanted.
I accepted with a smile and a thank you though, because I didn't want to deter the people from offering another time to someone who might really benefit.
Did make me feel a bit old though 😂

Tho I agree it has got worse, I remember being pregnant a long time ago obvs, and men not standing up on tubes to let me sit down, even when I asked.No younger woman stood up for me either.So tho I publicly shamed them they still sat there.🤬

On the other hand, my son is in his early 40's and looks like a tall, healthy man.
However his first stroke was at the age of 28 and he's had numerous spinal surgeries so his mobility isn't great and neither is his balance.

I've lost count of the number of times I've had to challenge someone who has either expected him to move on public transport or who has made passive - aggressive comments about him sitting down and not offering his seat.

I use public transport all the time as I don’t drive I m still surprised when someone offers me a seat as I forget I m an old bat so used to giving mine up for someone frailer
To be fair most people here are pretty good I haven’t seen any blatant misuse but agree some people don’t half pong

On the occasions I have used public transport others have been very considerate offering a seat without being asked but I can well imagine some being unreasonable.

About 3 years ago with my 93 year old Mum, we were on a bus crowded with school children, they were all heads down on phones, oblivious to an elderly lady standing. Eventually an older man got up to offer her his seat. I said in a loud voice "Mum this kind gentleman has offered you his seat" Not a flicker of interest, I stood all the way lol

I have noticed lately that when a bus arrives, and the local college kids are waiting, it is every man for himself, no consideration for older people at all.

A few years ago, I was in a long queue for a bus when it began to rain. Near the front was a very frail, very elderly lady. When the driver opened the door to let us on, there commenced what l can only describe as a rugby scrum with the elderly lady in imminent danger of being knocked over. I said: "please let this lady get on first." To be fair, they did but why should anyone need reminding of basic consideration, thoughtfulness and manners?

It doesn't surprise me in the slightest. There is a growing sense of entitlement amongst the younger generations. Too many appear to have been brought up with little or no regard for others or their surroundings. Basic manners, politeness and respect have all but disappeared. Things can only get worse for future generations.

sassenach512

I once had to stand all the way from Cardiff to Manchester on a packed train while young students and men sat studiously ignoring me on their phones.
It seems concern and consideration for others is rare these days, it's something we were taught at home in our early years, now it's a 'me first and sod everyone else' mentality.

Some train passengers seem to think their bag deserves a seat on its own too and are very reluctant to move it even on a crowded train. I have to say though we were in London with the grandchildren last summer for a week and travelled on the Tube a lot, I was offered a seat on almost every journey mainly by men but sometimes by young women, it must be the hair that I allowed to go grey during lockdown.

I was brought up to give up my seat on a bus or train to an adult and so were my children so I do find it odd that anybody should think their child takes precedence over an adult on public transport. I tend to travel on the bus a few times a week as we have a good service into town every 15 minutes and I find that young adults or children often sit in the priority seats that even I don’t choose to sit in as I don’t consider my needs take priority, I am 82.

Homestead - You summed it up perfectly. Consideration and respect are long gone by many. We are also seeing now the generation of children brought up by the first generation that weren't disciplined or taught consideration for others. My husband and I just look at each other, roll our eyes and say, "Second generation." I very rarely read Mumsnet because the entitlement and appalling language is awful but when I do I am always shocked at the attitude of many (not all) posters.

I once had to stand all the way from Cardiff to Manchester on a packed train while young students and men sat studiously ignoring me on their phones.
It seems concern and consideration for others is rare these days, it's something we were taught at home in our early years, now it's a 'me first and sod everyone else' mentality.

I remember a similar MN thread a couple of years ago, and it made my blood boil.

If I were on the bus with my grandchildren, I would certainly put the under- five on my knee if the seat was needed.However, I wouldnt make the 7 year-old stand up like I used to be made to do, because of the risk of her going flying if the driver braked suddenly - plus the fact that over-fives have to pay full fare on our buses, so to my mind are as entitled to a seat as any able-bodied adult). BUT I would give up my own seat instead to someone who clearly needed it more than me.

It was the same in Europe on holiday. Grown men and their teenage sons not even offering the elderly their seats. Not everyone was like that though- we shouldn't be so quick to find the negative.

We were once on a ( long) tube journey. The carriage started to fill as we neared London.
An older couple got on, the woman looking rather weary and pale so we budged up, little one on my lap, two bigger ones squashed into one seat, to make room for them.
The woman broke the absolute rule of never- talk- to- anyone- on - the- tube to tell me that she was going daily for gruelling treatment for cancer, and, as they joined some way into the journey, she usually stood the whole way. I felt so sorry for her.

My husband is now disabled due to a stroke and cannot stand on public transport but you should see the glares and mutterings we get when I insist that a young mother with a small child taking up the priority seats should give up one of them. I never back down because if my husband has to stand he will literally fall over. But am sick and tired of having to implement this on buses and trains, not just with mums with small children either. Just looking at my husband should be enough, he is old and has a stick because he cannot walk very well.
On the flip side sone kind people do jump up and even offer me a seat to sit with him.
When he was well my husband would get up for mums with small children, pregnant women, and the disabled.

The bus route I use is rarely busy to be honest and seats are mostly always available. What I object to is people who stink ,wear filthy clothes - and I’m not referring to someone returning home from work - , and those who sit with their friends but then put their shoppings bags IN THE AISLE of all places for someone else to have to stride over!

I have also experienced having to rest one cheek on the edge of a seat on a bus because an old bat refused to move her bag onto her lap. As she was elderly and no doubt had a bus pass, she hadn't paid for one seat let alone two.

I feel quite angry that I have put in my time and do not get back what I was promised
Were you promised a seat on a bus though FGC 🤣

Having said that I totally agree, on a full bus a child should sit on the parents knee I haven’t noticed this not happening though on our buses, what is a problem if you get a couple of prams and a wheelchair wants to get on.