Addressing unknown people in business

I do have a problem with people using my first name without permission. It presupposes a familiarity which does not exist.

ViceVersa

That is a strange way to address someone in a business email, I must say. I'm wondering if it has come from someone for whom English isn't their first language.

I would suggest it’s not a human sending the email.
Billions of correspondents are conducted by AI.

petra

ViceVersa

That is a strange way to address someone in a business email, I must say. I'm wondering if it has come from someone for whom English isn't their first language.

I would suggest it’s not a human sending the email.
Billions of correspondents are conducted by AI.

That thought did cross my mind too, petra. More and more firms are using AI in their correspondence now.

Is there any way you signed off with your surname first?
I ask because I believe you live in France and I have heard Frenchmen introduce themselves as “Dupont, Marcel” for instance.

It depends how they have set up their address database and software. Amazon always addresses me as Dear Ms. I can see why but it doesn’t bother me 😊

RosieandherMaw

Is there any way you signed off with your surname first?
I ask because I believe you live in France and I have heard Frenchmen introduce themselves as “Dupont, Marcel” for instance.

True in meeting people for the first time face to face, one we all know is, Bond, James Bond.

I did complain once to the VW garage sending postal mail addressed to Monsieur X, the male person told me it was a small thing but when I called him Madame X, he wasn’t happy.

I do have a problem when sending emails to a company (when I don't have a named contact). "Dear Sirs" seems overly formal for an email (and also sexist), "Hi" or "Hello" too informal.

Most often letters and emails to me are addressed David, if the person signs with a christian name I reply with the same. It’s all much less formal than years gone by,

If anyone asks me my name I tell them it.
No Ms/Mrs/Miss, and surname only if required.

The times they are a changin’ (have changed in fact) I mean good grief ! I’m 64 and have never considered being a “missis” as conferring any important status upon me,
I detest Miss (would rather be a hit😀) and will only say Ms if pressed because I want parity with men, in a way that using Mrs and Miss does not afford me.

I felt the same about this when I was 14 as I do now.

Most people in Australia use first names. I haven’t heard a ‘Mr’ or ‘Mrs’ in years. That applies to most doctors, dentists, tradespersons and just about everyone.

nanna8

Most people in Australia use first names. I haven’t heard a ‘Mr’ or ‘Mrs’ in years. That applies to most doctors, dentists, tradespersons and just about everyone.

In Australia it’s usually “mate”very informal.

Oh! The impertinence! Have fainted

Now then Aveline don’t clutch those pearls too tightly will you😅

TBH this just sounds to me like sheer cluelessness/ ignorance/ both, and a sad sign of falling standards everywhere.

The one that irritates me is Dear Jane Brown, when it should be either Dear Miss/Mrs/Ms Brown, or Dear Jane - if that more familiar form of address is warranted.

David, you are aware that Nanna8 lives in Australia? Do you also live there or are you just mansplaining?

Grandmabatty

David, you are aware that Nanna8 lives in Australia? Do you also live there or are you just mansplaining?

Whenever you get greeted there its “mate” even relatives.
I hope that answers your womansplaining

Off topic I know, but I hate being called ma’am. Makes me feel ancient! I’m 69.

I get annoyed when people change my surname into a first name. I have a surname that could be a man's name without the S at the end, such as Edwards or Williams. when you are waiting at the GP or dentist and a man's name is called, you ignore it. I had visitors sent away at work as they asked for me by a man's name and reception did not realise they meant me.
I am not a man!

And as expected, you double down, completely ignoring the fact that Nanna8 actually lives there and explained about the use of informal language in business, which is the focus of the thread. But you know better than an actual resident hence mansplaining 😂

"Familiarity breeds contempt".

How very true.

Whenever you get greeted there its “mate” even relatives.

Er, no.
Not in my experience.

In NHS contexts, I have no objection to any staff addressing me by my first name... so long as it's mutual. So I politely respond in kind, drop their title and use their first name.

Some doctors are fine with that. Others instantly revert to addressing me as Mrs Butterandjam.

I live in a country where everyone is on first name terms and uses the informal pronoun, and we have all done so since the 1970s. I dislike this modern habit, but have had to accept it.

As far as e-mails go, I don't think there are any generally accepted rules in any language. Firms and private individuals see to make up their own rules.

I was astonished to receive an email which although in German and from a German firm, with whom I corresponded in German that began with "Dear Mrs. Jxxx"

Why on earth should a German company start their communication in English then continue in German?

If they felt "Liebe Frau Jxxx" was inappropriate, why not start with Gnädige Frau?

As they used the formal pronoun (only to be expected, as I didn't go to school with my correspondent, nor was she a relative) it seems an odd mixture.

I like people using my Christian name , it makes me feel they are friendly.

When my mum went into a nursing home, the staff asked her what she would like to be called. She replied ‘Mrs Joy of course’. She got very Hyacinth Bouquet if someone called her Doris. She was a bit of a snob! 🙄. Bless her ❤️

The consultant in the geriatric -oops care of the elderly, ward always addresses new patients by Mr or Mrs Whatever and introduces himself by his first name. They may or may not offer their first names for use but whatever they request is adhered to. He insists new staff and trainee doctors show the same respect to these elderly patients.