Would you allow a neighbour to use your shower?

I would readily agree to my immediate neighbours either side, but like others, I would not ask for myself, as a wash is fine.
As the original enquirer knew her neighbour, I think she is being precious to refuse, but obviously she is now feeling awkward about it.

I have a downstairs loo with shower, but it would be less intrusive for a neighbour to go straight upstairs to the bathroom, with shower over bath, rather than through my living area to the downstairs one in the rear extension.

Well I once did a favour for a neighbour (filled in her DLA form) and I ended up becoming her unpaid PA providing all sorts of "services".. Now I find it wiser to keep them at arms length. I have other people I can call on in an emergency.

I can understand someone not liking people in their personal space. TBH neither do I, but the minor irritation of that to me is nothing like as big a deal as not being able to shower for a fortnight would be for a neighbour.

I can also understand being annoyed by having tenancy status referenced in a dispute, as it's irrelevant to the situation. It wouldn't even register with me that someone may not have been born in the UK though. What difference does that make? I wouldn't seek out a white anglo saxon protestant if I were in need of ablution facilities either .

Goodness biglouis, I would not want to be your neighbour. I hope you never need a helping hand from anyone in the future.

That's a bit sad really. I'm sorry you've had such unfortunate experiences, biglouis

I dont like people I dont know well in my personal space. I keep the likes of neighbours at arms length and I certainly dont wish to get chummy with them. Been there, done it, got the T-shirt and regretted it. None of them have my phone number to call or text.

Im always amazed at how people on Mumsnet sem to easily give out their phone number to neighbours and then have to deal with akward requests. There are various ethnic groups on the estate and so people in need of temporary washing and toilet facilities would probably prefer to ask someone from their own community.

I had a bad start with my NDN (only have one direct neighbour). In order to clean her gutters she sent workpeople onto the property without asking my permission or even warning me. When I told her that I would not refuse future access but that she had to ask permission in advance she told me I was "only a tenant" and she did not need to.

Well that set the tone for our future relationship. I took great offence to someone not born in this country talking down to me. I would see her burn in hell rather than cross my threshold.

I'm a bit anti-social by nature, but like being reasonably friendly with my neighbours. Life can be a bit miserable otherwise. So, yes, I would happily let them use my shower temporarily. As they would me, I think.

I would let a neighbour use my shower. However, I would wonder why they couldn't just have a strip wash at the bathroom basin, as I would do in the same situation. I would find it inconvenient going to a neighbour's to use their shower.

It depends. If I felt uncomfortable about it I would probably buy her a nice flannel, a bowl and a bar of soap. I lived on a boat for years and for the first six months we didn't have a shower installed. I was horrified that I had to wash like this at first, but soon I got used to it and you can be just as clean with a flannel! Believe me.

I’d willingly let my neighbours use my shower in these circumstances, and I know that they would reciprocate, if necessary. I’m fortunate to have some very good neighbours, who are also friends. We all help each other out. 😊

Some of my neighbours are very kind and after an accident recently they all offered help so I would definitely let any one of them use my shower. Life runs more smoothly if we help each other.

If the neighbour is disabled and/or elderly they'd be welcome to use my shower but if not ... they can have a sink wash!

We had this dilemma a few months ago , hubbie and I were abroad on holiday Daughter ( 31) was at home. She's a teacher so works full time , first day of holiday , she rings us to say , we have no hot water. Long story short , we had a problem with our gas meter and it switched of the gas to the property, so she didn't have any hot water or use of the gas hob. Luckily our neighbours are lovely and they tried to fix the problem and let her use their shower , whilst waiting for ours to get repaired

I would of course let my neighbour use my shower under these circumstances. I know they would do the same for me.

When we were without heating last Spring for 10 days, no hot water, we didn't need to ask. Our neighbours offered immediately, but we managed with boiling water and a bucket of water in the bath. And I went to the swimming pool to wash my hair once and to the hairdresser once.

I should add, if it was once or twice at a reasonable time then yes; but a fortnight? Surely they can find a plumber to come out in an emergency?

Our neighbours are lovely (most of them!) but we wouldn't ask them.

I would allow but I know my neighbour wouldn't ask .
If I was on that position, I would use gym facilities .

I am lucky enough to have 2 showers, but my daughter has only one , her and family would have full use , she has a key so not an issue.
Most of my friends have gym membership, so would use their facilities.
If I wasn't a member of a gym I would use local swimming pool every other day.

Most gyms gives a 14 trial period (due to cooling off period), so that would be an option.

But as the question was would you allow ? Then yes I would.

If they wanted to use it at 6.30 or 7 am every other morning, then no.

I wouldn't ask either.

Reminder to self - do not get rid of the bath.

Position!

It would depend heavily on which of my neighbours asked !
I must add that if my shower was broken I would not dream of asking any of my neighbours if I could use their shower! Surely a wash at the sink would serve the purpose until my shower was repaired.
A local leisure centre is an option , I attend one regularly and always use the shower there before and after my swim . Asking to use a neighbours shower is a bit if an imposition, but if put in that post I would or say yes.

In our neighbourhood everyone keeps themselves to themselves so the only people who shower in our house are my DH, granddaughter and her fiance. I don't think I'd like someone I don't know using our shower unless there'd been an incident of some sort

I'm not sure I could see that scenario playing out, but in the interests of good neighbourly relations I think I would. I've definitely had members of the family use our facilities on the rare occasions they've had bathroom problems and also our washing machine if theirs had packed up.

I did once have an occasion back in 2 houses ago, where a neighbour a few doors along, who I knew reasonably well insomuch as we'd been invited to theirs for drinks, come and ask me if she could dry a rug on our whirligig, I said yes, but did think at the time, "what an utterly bizarre request" given she didn't really explain why she couldn't use her own garden to dry it in.

We have done a neighbours washing when their machine was broken and their small amounts of shopping, I think I probably would let a neighbour use our shower, so long as they brought their own towel!

Doodledog

For context, the neighbours on the MN thread do know one another- they walk their dogs together.

Obviously it is up to the householder whether she lets people use her facilities, but yes, I would allow it. I would give a set time, and expect the neighbour to stick to it - I wouldn’t want to go to use the bathroom to find it occupied, or have someone knocking on the door when I am showering- but it’s not a huge imposition. A shower takes less than half an hour from start to finish.

I don’t socialise with my neighbours, but would do them a favour if they needed it, and hope they would do the same for us.

Well here the big difference, I know my neighbours and I trust them. We are not in each other's pockets, but if they ever needed to use my shower, or washing machine, or even my kitchen, or my car (as I am covered by insurance for others to use it), or whatever- they would be welcome. And they would do the same for me. Makes for a better world all round truly.

It wouldn’t occur to me not to allow my neighbours the use of our downstairs shower (or even the upstairs one) if they needed it, or the loo or anything else. I’m not overly friendly with them (except next door) but it’s just a neighbourly thing to do.