Farting

Beans beans,
Good for the heart,
The more you eat,
The more you fart!

I followed DeeDe's link (09/11/2024 23:12) to Naga Munchetty. Sad to read so many racist and misogynistic comments.

Or as Bart Simpson used to frequently quote
Beans beans
The musical fruit
The more you eat
The more you toot.

Whiff

My husband swore blind he saw this on a gravestone in his teens
'Let the wind blow free for want of a fart killith me '. But my husband could make you believe black was white. I used to threaten to glue and air freshener to his bum he could clear a room . But then again so could my dad.

Mom and dad dance ballroom and sequence 4 times a week . If he farted he say to mom would move quicker. He was awful my dad . If he was constipated he used to say teeth marks on the loo seat.

An uncle of my used to say who's coughed in their rompers . Had an aunt who swore she never farted my dad would say well whose just let one off. She would say it was a draft from the water treatment plant. Nearest place was 20 miles away. My nan and mother in law always farted as they walked .

Living on my own I never try to control farts but forget when I am out just hope they don't smell. One of my uncles said the Queen doesn't fart or shit roses .

Is that why you chose your user name?

It's handy to know that passing gas is a sign of a health digestive track. We have a woman here in Canada that is a home economist on the television, and has several cookbooks. She went 'viral' on instagram talking about her and her hubby's after dinner 'fart walks'. Moving after eating, especially a diet rich in fibre is good for you!

Saying that, I've told my grandkids that women don't fart, but they occasionally fluff.

👀

😂

A fart is a wonderful creature
It lives in the valley of bum
It travels around in your knickers
And comes out with a musical hum

DeeDe

Reminded me of this you tube clip …😂
youtu.be/N5_x8rrT_BQ
Link might not work, but can see it by typing
Naga Munchetty brazenly farts on BBC Breakfast

I’m not surprised that Munchetty farts on tv. She is an apology of a woman who thinks she is God’s gift and WAY above us mere mortals!
I think she is vile!

Those who denied it supplied it
Those who smelt it dealt it

When looking for the guilty party my father used to say "He who smelt it dealt it".

My husband swore blind he saw this on a gravestone in his teens
'Let the wind blow free for want of a fart killith me '. But my husband could make you believe black was white. I used to threaten to glue and air freshener to his bum he could clear a room . But then again so could my dad.

Mom and dad dance ballroom and sequence 4 times a week . If he farted he say to mom would move quicker. He was awful my dad . If he was constipated he used to say teeth marks on the loo seat.

An uncle of my used to say who's coughed in their rompers . Had an aunt who swore she never farted my dad would say well whose just let one off. She would say it was a draft from the water treatment plant. Nearest place was 20 miles away. My nan and mother in law always farted as they walked .

Living on my own I never try to control farts but forget when I am out just hope they don't smell. One of my uncles said the Queen doesn't fart or shit roses .

My dear old Mum used to say "Whose let Joey out of prison."

Someone gave my daughter, when young, a whoopi cushion and it kept her amused for a long time. She had a doctor's outfit and when someone sat on the carefully hidden cushion she'd rush up to offer her medical services screeching "that sounds very bad, I think I should examine you" She's a doctor now with a very healthy attitude to normal bodily functions and a fund of outrageously funny stories. Call it what you want but farting is completely normal.

My DHs grandfather used to give him a finger to pull on when he was a little boy, before letting off a loud "trump"!

Danma

My grandchildren (boy 7 and girl 4) can do it to order. I’ve no idea how they do that but obviously they think it’s funny

Our grandsons love asking our Alexa to demonstrate various types then adding them all to my shopping list. I often feel sorry for her as she’s normally quite refined.

Mojack26

Hate that word, sorry.

Me too!
My family know to call it "passing wind" if I am with them.

Reminded me of this you tube clip …😂
youtu.be/N5_x8rrT_BQ
Link might not work, but can see it by typing
Naga Munchetty brazenly farts on BBC Breakfast

🤣🤣 😂
My mum wouldn’t even use the word trump as she thought it was much too common. Her and my dad called it popping - ‘have you popped Arthur’ 😂
She didn’t like ‘bum’ either. She couldn’t bring herself to say bum bag, she used to call them bottom bags! I could see her cringing when my mother in law said it’s time to change my baby’s bum bum 🥴

I once read a book where one character gave ‘a blast on the botty trumpet’

This thread has made me laugh so much. I have a friend who cited her husband's farting as a reason for divorce ie unreasonable behaviour. Her solicitor said it wasn't unreasonable, she said it was because he pinned her under the bed clothes! It still makes me giggle thinking of her saying that to her starchy solicitor.

I can’t remember anyone using the word never mind doing it in my family.

When my long-gone mother-in-law went downstairs each morning, she farted on each step as she went down. This was in her later years, and I always remember her wearing her cross-over pinny and tartan slippers.

Daddima

Like the Royal Family and the Pope, I had a fartectomy at an early age, so am never troubled by wind.

I do remember being in a swanky hotel lounge, and a gentleman raised himself on to one buttock, released a particularly loud one, then, in an equally loud voice, announced to his wife, “ Ooh, rather gaseous tonight dear”!

Fartectomy

Pharting is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease.
It warms the bed on chilly nights,
And drives away the fleas!