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Has your religious or cultural upbringing affect the rest of your life ?

(131 Posts)
Floradora9 Sun 13-Oct-24 22:06:41

I have been reading a book about someone brought up in a very strict Jewish home . She was brainwashed to believe that the day to day things ( like listening to a radio ) would be a blot of her soul . It took her until her 40 to finally break away completely from a life that made her miserable .
My parents were not religious at all and politics were never mentioned .

Romola Mon 14-Oct-24 17:40:41

It is interesting how many posters were brought up Catholic. It seems that a Catholic upbringing stays "in your bones" even if you reject it later.
My parents weren't religious, but did send me to a CofE boarding school. I did learn the beautiful words of the Book of Common Prayer, many hymns and much music, which I love still although I have no religious belief.

Tenko Mon 14-Oct-24 17:35:46

No religious links and it hasn’t affected my life . My mother was c of E and my dad a lapsed catholic. They struggled to find a church to marry them in the 50s.
They didn’t get myself and my siblings christened and I only went to church with the brownies and guides , or weddings and funerals.
The only religion I’ve expressed an interest in is Judism . I was in a serious relationship with a Jewish guy and I worked with a number of Jewish people .
My dh is a lapsed Christian and our DC haven’t been christened, which hasn’t affected their lives either .
We had a humanist service for my dad and my mum wants the same as it was a lovely celebration of his life .

Celieanne86 Mon 14-Oct-24 16:50:38

The answer is yes. Born a Catholic, raised as a Catholic and did my best with my children and my life as a Catholic I became so disillusioned with all the vile goings on with supposedly revered Catholics I gave up, all of it, and everything that went with it, church was only a place for funerals and then I got outside as soon as possible. Now Catholic guilt has kicked in, I’m old and have to think about my funeral, and what do I insist on, a full Catholic service, incense the lot. I just hope my mother isn’t too cross with me 😥

Judy54 Mon 14-Oct-24 16:36:59

I was brought up in the Catholic faith. Although I am now an Anglican my upbringing affected my life in a good way in that being a faith household was a preparation and set me on a journey of discovery. Having looked at and rejected other religions I found being a Christian was right for me. I find the Anglican church more relaxed but probably my memory is clouded by how strict the Catholic church seemed when I was a Child.

lixy Mon 14-Oct-24 15:59:58

Roman Catholic upbringing, rejected when I realised how much war, death and destruction is ‘justified’ by religion. No religion at all now for me, though I still feel guilty for the disappointment that caused my parents.

Our children have found their own paths, one an agnostic, the other a Mormon, and are happy with their choices.

Mamardoit Mon 14-Oct-24 15:38:24

My mum went to a Baptist church in her teens by choice. Her parents were not religious but I know they were married in a C of E church. The same one mum and dad were married in.

I was christened C of E but went to Sunday school and services at a Methodist church. Mum attended occasionally but I don't remember Dad going to anything apart from baptisms, weddings and funerals. It was my paternal grandma who made sure all the children in the family went to Sunday school. I loved Sunday school. We had Christmas parties, trips to the pantomime, and coach trips to the seaside,zoo, etc.. We also had a book for regular attendance and a present at Christmas. The teachers were kind. Anything taught there was reinforced at primary school with hymns and prayers in assembly and scripture lessons every morning. I remember asking my teacher if scripture and history were the same thing.

In my early teens we used to attend all the church youth clubs. Most of my group of friends attended the C of E on Sunday and some learnt to ring church bells. I went along to watch and go on the outings. Living in a village the church was at the centre of lots of social events. In my late teens I met my now DH at a church event. We married and our DC baptised C of E. We took them to family services and they all went to Sunday school. They grew up within the church community but only one married in church. The others chose a hotel wedding.

We have 9 DGC and all have been baptised even though the the parents are not regular attendees. I still have faith but don't go to church regularly. I think lock down broke the habit of regular attendance for us. Also the services are not what they were. DH thinks it's dumbed down! It's a bit of longing for how things were.....Book of Common Prayer and the old hymns.

Indigo8 Mon 14-Oct-24 14:27:36

I am rather shocked at the number of Catholic parents that were disowned by their families for marrying outside the faith.
My mother was a Catholic and My father a Quaker. They married in a Catholic church and then my mother lapsed.
Far from disowning her, her large family met up regularly and I got to know my cousins well.
I attended Quaker meetings and I was married at a Quaker meeting house. Far from being doctrinaire, Quakers are broad minded and inclusive. Most are pacifists and many refused to fight in the two world wars. I am a pacifist and I grew up to hate war and narrow mindedness. I sometimes used to envy the close Catholic community my cousins grew up in, the rosary beads and first communion clothes etc. I attended mass with grandmother several times, it was still in Latin then, and I found it strange and rather exotic. Quakers sit for an hour on Sunday mornings and there is no minister (in the UK) anybody can stand up and speak if the spirit moves them.

Allira Mon 14-Oct-24 14:12:04

We all love rainbows, they always seem to be a symbol of hope 🙂

Freya5 Mon 14-Oct-24 14:02:59

Allira

FriedGreenTomatoes2

Fleurpepper

Just read your post FGT2- and yes, I would call myself a Humanist, and am fully paid up member.

Ah, we are ‘simpatico’ on this subject then Fleurpepper. 😁

“Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud.” – Maya Angelou.

“Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud.”

You don't have to be a humanist to do that! 🌈

Absolutely. In fact the "rainbow" was mentioned in Ezekial 1:28, as a "representation of God's radiance on earth". In Christian culture rainbows symbolise hope and better times to come.
Have you ever seen a rainbow and thought otherwise, I'm always awed by them.

Mollygo Mon 14-Oct-24 13:38:53

We were brought up CofE. No pressure, we enjoyed Sunday School and the rites and celebrations. Prayer was and is something personal.
Studying it at Uni, I realised that religion is often based on where you were born and the family you were born into.
You soon learn that everyone, whatever way of life people choose, religion, atheist, humanist, or whatever, it doesn’t make them better or worse or more or less likely to do good or evil.

Curlywhirly Mon 14-Oct-24 13:29:48

I was brought up a strict Catholic - went to church 3 times a week and attended a Roman Catholic primary school, where some of the teachers were nuns. I'm horrified when I look back and remember the fire and brimstone religious teaching we endured. Luckily, our area didn't have a Catholic grammar school, so I went to the local non-denominational one. Once the brain-washing had stopped, I made my own mind up and stopped going to church when I was about 12 years old. However, I am grateful for some of the qualities that my very religious education instilled I me; I am deeply moral and have a real social conscience. I still have Christian values, but I struggle with a lot of what I was taught in those early years.

yogitree Mon 14-Oct-24 13:22:38

My Dad was a Roman Catholic, educated at a boarding school college, as were his brothers. My mum was brought up protestant.
When my parents announced their marriage, my dad was disowned by his father and mother, only keeping in touch with his siblings, one of whom became a Christian Brother. Dad never went into a Church again.
My mum's sister married a Church of Scotland Minister who ranted on about the virgin birth being reality, so religion was a little confusing for me in my childhood. I never saw my CoS cousins, ever.
When I was older, my parents suggested I decide for myself and I happily disregard religion and have followed a new-age pagan/humanist path for decades. I think religion is divisive and enjoy my personal spirituality.

Luckygirl3 Mon 14-Oct-24 13:16:46

It plays no part in my life.

My mother was brought up Catholic but rejected that as her father had been brought up in a catholic children's home - enough said ....

Sporadically when we were small she dragged us round all sorts of churches in her search for the right one - happy-clappy, methodist etc. etc. But she never settled anywhere and we basically did not go to church at all. My Dad was a card-carrying atheist.

My chidlren went to a village local church fora few years as they were very musical and were wanted to sing and play - which they enjoyed. I had no problem with that, and indeed my OH and I were also involved with the music - but not the beliefs - vicar knew this and had no problem. We had something he wanted!

I have my own religion - Kindness. I do my best to live up to that - and fail sometimes! - but it is all down to me and not some invisible being.

My OH has died and I believe he has simply been recycled, but lives on in our memories and his influences on others during his lifetime.

My adult children are of no particular religion at all, but are deeply respectful of the beliefs of others, and are the kindest of people. One of the GC is studying religion as one of his GCSE options simply because he finds the whole thing fascinating on a philosophical level and in terms of its influence on human behaviour, not because of any personal belief.

My first school - till age about 7 - was run by CofE nuns - enough to put anyone off religion for ever!

Mt61 Mon 14-Oct-24 13:07:21

Their houses

Mt61 Mon 14-Oct-24 13:06:30

Mt61

Parents are from Glasgow- mixed marriage, dad catholic & mum Protestant, her siblings said they would give the marriage 6 months but they have just celebrated a very happy marriage of 60 years

I have to say I not into the catholic Faith,
We have catholic family members on my dads side, there houses are full of those creepy statues- I hated sleeping at my grannies house- huge crucifix hung over the bed, her old, nasty father would be nursing his rosary beads 😣

Skye17 Mon 14-Oct-24 13:06:03

TheWeirdo

I'm life-long Atheist, I can't stand organized religion! Being told I'll go to hell simply for reading or watching a horror/psycho book or film or being friends with the LGBTQ+/Trans community or a woman with my own brain who refuses point blank to be controlled by men!

No thanks! I'll carry on being Atheist!

Honestly, none of that is Christian teaching.

Mt61 Mon 14-Oct-24 12:59:53

Parents are from Glasgow- mixed marriage, dad catholic & mum Protestant, her siblings said they would give the marriage 6 months but they have just celebrated a very happy marriage of 60 years

Norah Mon 14-Oct-24 12:46:28

I was brought up Catholic, as was my husband. We went to Catholic school and are devout Catholics. Positive in my opinion.

Smileless2012 Mon 14-Oct-24 12:41:56

Not all nuns or members of the Christian Brothers are evil Sago.

Sago Mon 14-Oct-24 12:26:08

Another strict Catholic upbringing.
My mother was half Irish, my father Irish through and through.
They were horrible people, my mother was evil enough to have mad a good nun and my father was sadistic enough to have mad it into the Christian Brothers!

I do go to Church sometimes and I pray, I try to be a good Christian.

I do however hate the hypocrisy, I could never understand how the Catholic Church gave IRA murderers Catholic funerals.

I know all about confession and forgiveness but many of those men are still proud of what they have done.

CariadAgain Mon 14-Oct-24 12:05:18

With my father having been brought up Free Church and then turned athiest and my mother being Anglican = I was basically left to whatever way I decided it would be for myself.

I think I was sent to Sunday School for a while as a young child and so I presume it was an Anglican one. So it was a very conventional (ie somewhat repressed) 1950s/60s "Armed Forces brat" upbringing in other respects as far as I was aware (though I've obviously blocked out most memories until my father left the armed forces when I was a teenager - and then the memories started up). I was quite surprised as an adult to find my mother was basically Anglo-Catholic (whereas I'd thought of her as "middle of the road" Anglican) and only realised when she referred to "Hell" and it turned out she believed there was such a place - and it was only then I finally realised she was not a typical "middle of the road" one.

My father pretty much turned from atheist (more of a "humanist" according to him) to agnostic when he had one of those OBE experiences (ie died on the operating table and was doing the "floating at the ceiling" watching them thing - and then got revived).

So - left to my own thinking in that respect at any rate = I went into a very "evangelical" Christian church in late teens/early adulthood and then literally walked out of it one Sunday morning sermon (when the man said "Anyone can speak at this - if they are a man"). Cue for me getting up and literally storming out right in the middle of the service and into the Quakers instead (where women have been equal right from Day 1 in the 17th century).

I'm not particularly anything these days and take the view "Think what you please/do what you please - as long as you're not restricting other people or going in for black magic". Your choice....so up to you and I just disagree with anything "fundamentalist" (of any religion) or "black/evil". Apart from that = I barely know what many people are/don't care - except there's a lot of hippies in this area (so I don't blink an eyelid about what particular guru figure they've decided to have and am not interested in the idea of treating anyone as a guru figure).

biglouis Mon 14-Oct-24 12:05:11

Morlems = Moslems

biglouis Mon 14-Oct-24 11:55:21

My family were not in the least religious. My father came from a mixed Catholic/Orange Lodge (!!) background and my mother was C of E. All my grandmother's family were C of E and so pretty laid back about it. Religion was never forced down my throat although I did have a couple of years of going to sunday school as a younger teen. I only went because my friend did and she would not have been allowed to go alone.

Ive always had an interest in religion and took religious knowledge at O level because I found it easy.

Ive had many debates with Mormons, Jehova's Witnesses and Morlems because I am interested in what other people believe. However I have never felt the need or wish to belong to any denomination or follow any ritual. I dont believe in an after life.

nanna8 Mon 14-Oct-24 11:51:49

Agree with you Smileless2012

Smileless2012 Mon 14-Oct-24 11:45:42

Neither of my parents were church goers but my maternal gran was Catholic and I enjoyed accompanying her to mass from a very young age despite not being able to understand what was going on.

I wasn't confirmed until I was 19 and was confirmed into the
C of E despite being baptised a Catholic as Mr S. and I wouldn't have been able to take Holy Communion together in a Catholic church.

Faith is a relationship with God not just an adherence to rules and regulations. Faith comes from a desire to have that relationship; religious indoctrination is something else entirely.