Making genuine connections

Don't take it personally. Some people operate at a different vibration to you. I am astounded at the poor treatment some people will put up with from other people which I would not tolerate just to have a friend. If you are a pro active sociable person, you will want to connect with people and make the first move. Some people contact me to go out and I have absolutely nothing in common with them. Others will contact me and I jump at the offer as we are on the same page.

*expectations!

Babs03

Are you a people pleaser?
I used to be, but have learned to pull back and think of myself a bit more.
It could be that you are giving too much of yourself and so others don’t need to put in the same effort.
Time to wait for friends to message you first, is hard to begin with, I was a habitual people pleaser, but it does get easier and friends will put in more effort once they know you aren’t going to jump to please them all the time.
Could be wrong, but this is how I am reading the situation.

I was a “people pleaser” I got “hurt” so many times and then I realised it was because I had the same high expectations of people as I myself gave!

Since then I have grown a thicker skin, “culled” a particularly toxic friend and lowered my excitations!

I have a small group of great friends, some I’ve known for many decades and I treasure them all.

I don’t feel the need to make any new friends.

Are you a people pleaser?
I used to be, but have learned to pull back and think of myself a bit more.
It could be that you are giving too much of yourself and so others don’t need to put in the same effort.
Time to wait for friends to message you first, is hard to begin with, I was a habitual people pleaser, but it does get easier and friends will put in more effort once they know you aren’t going to jump to please them all the time.
Could be wrong, but this is how I am reading the situation.

My best friend doesn’t do ‘messaging’ - she prefers to ‘talk’ - I am busy most of the time , and sometimes there’s nothing to really talk about. So a quick hi, how are you, suits me fine.

Maybe they just dont do messaging very well
I have a very best friend who is dreadful with messages sometimes I don’t get an answer for a week or two sometimes not at all but she is good in every other way and we have a really strong friendship She just isnt an instigator or do messages well
I think I m very lucky I have some truly lovely friends most have been very long term but some are newer
If I was you I d look for some new friends and don’t give, give, give too freely let it work up to a two way house.
Good luck