When to move?

Too true Sara1954!

I have promised my DS3, who is the most empathetic of my 4 DC, that I will at least view other smaller dwellings and get serious about decluttering!
Then if and when I am ready to sell and buy, he will help with the move.
So it's Rightmove for me.
At least for the time being.......

I have accepted a quote for roof repairs which sound fair so that's a start.
I have a family party planned for the end of June when DS2 will be here from NZ. Will it be the last one?

I can’t see myself moving unless/until I’m on my own. The house is a 4 bed but not over-big, the garden is small, and we have everything more or less on the doorstep, plus very good (free) public transport. And we do still want that space for family now and then.

The thought of packing up and getting rid of a lot of stuff - not that we have a lot of clutter - would be very daunting, though. I can well understand why people stay put when moving would be sensible - moving is always a massive hassle when you’re young and fit, let alone when you’re getting on a bit and just don’t have the same energy any more.

If I were you Witzend I wouldn't be thinking of downsizing but since DH died 3 years ago my DC have been encouraging pressurising me constantly. Its almost as if they won't be happy until I'm settled in a retirement home. Grrrr

Thought I would not move from my bungalow by the sea. Something I had dreamed of for years! Spent 14 years there until new neighbour moved next door & was horrendous to live next too! So did as my family had asked for a long time & moved inland to be near them! Have not regretted it for a minute! The new bungalow is just right size & my gardener still comes to sort my gardens! The only downside was that just as we had settled my beautiful cat, a little Rescue from 10 years ago became ill & I lost her! Said no more cannot go through that again but I have! An older boy needed a home as his owner couldnt keep him! Lovely indoor cat settling in very well so a good move after all! Do miss the sea 2 minutes walk away still!

I made the decision to move from our 5 bedroom house 5 years ago now as it was just me and dh left and we hardly ever went in the empty rooms. My children encouraged us to go as they only stay a few tines a year. We downsized to a 2 bedroom town house in a conservation area. Its lovely, low maintenance and warm. I thought when we lwft i would be heart broken as had been in our old house 40 years. Do you know, I never even shed a tear and to this day don't regret it. At the end of the day its bricks and mortar, its you who make the home alive and your family.

I'm 59 and in the process of moving from my 3 bedroomed house which I'm selling into a rented 1 bed sheltered accommodation flat. I can't wait. Health issues means the house has got too much for me. The bathroom and stairs are a particular problem. It's difficult decluttering but it will be worth it. My family are excited for me as they know I'll have additional support. It will be hard leaving the home I shared with my late husband who died nearly 8 years ago but I know it's time.

Pam I hope you will be very happy there.
You knew the time was right.

I'm not so much worried about moving but I do worry that the NHS and availability of care services will get worse as the years go by. We are an ageing population with fewer younger people to do the jobs needed and the negativity shown to immigration by some people makes that worse. I want to stay in my own home as I age. I don't want to be subject to endless Vera Lynn, etc., in an understaffed care home or stuck in a hospital bed because some social worker thinks I can't cope at home.

We moved downsizing 11 years ago to be nearer son and family. Get positive and make new friends in a new area. DH died last year and am I glad that we made the move. Miss the depths of the country but near shops now and independent. Go for it whilst you are well enough to do it.

I have read all of your replies with great interest as we are just going through the whole process of trying to downsize. We have only ever owned this house, a large Edwardian semi with a too big garden in a London suburb, having moved in in 1970, so the whole process of selling and moving is new to us. At 80 & 76 we're still quite fit but it really feels like it's a now or never move. We're close to a busy high street and public transport so finding somewhere close that's suitable is not too easy. Our house has been on the market since late Feb, has had several viewings, and we're just crossing fingers that the latest couple, who seem keen, will put in a reasonable offer (it's tiring keeping the house ready for viewings!). We've already lost a flat we really liked and have found another one but have had to learn to cope with disappointment. Once we accept an offer, I know we're just at the beginning of the process (buying and selling in England seems designed to cause a lot of stress when people can pull out of offers at any time before contracts are exchanged). I am also feeling daunted by the whole process of getting rid of a lot of stuff. I've been de-cluttering for months but it's the furniture and other things we don't need (very hard getting rid of things inherited from my family in Canada) and I'm sure I will need advice from those of you with experience on how to minimise the stress and look forward to a new adventure (with less maintenance and gardening) in a smaller place.

Very wise words staceygrove. Your house sounds lovely. Just what I will be looking for when the time comes. It is just bricks and mortar. So many people say once the house is empty of your furniture etc it doesn't feel like your anymore. Your personality travels with you.

Tink you sound like one of my DC .
I wish I could be sensible but I have so much where I am. I am already near buses and doctors, friends and shops. It's just that the house is big and cold with empty rooms and a huge garden.
The cost of converting it to flats would cost £millions.

My OH and I moved last year ages 75 and 77. We lived in a rural setting in a large house with an acre of garden and had to get in the car for everything. Our DC didn't want our house so we moved to a medium sized town, downsizing slightly but big enough to put up family. We have a small, beautifully landscaped garden and can walk to restaurants, theatre, shops etc. We are also on a bus line. We had a lot of furniture, books etc. to get rid of but I am so glad we did it while we are still got and healthy.

Karmalady
I feel that I’m in the same position as you were.I was widowed 15 months ago aged 71.
We had been contemplating moving nearer to our daughters in South Gloucestershire but that had to be put on hold while he was ill . Do I’m now starting to look for somewhere that would have the amenities I will need over the next few active years . Maybe a high street , doctors etc . It’s all a bit daunting but I will do it .nirtb Somerset could be in my search range and you seem to have found just the place for you. I’d be grateful for any more detailed advice as to how you managed the search and the move . I’m lucky to have family who are keen to help in the search .

I've been really interested to read all the comments on this thread as it's something I've been contemplating on and off over the last 12 mths.
DH passed away 2 yrs ago and we've lived in this house for 12 yrs. We spent 2 yrs looking for the right property when we returned from living abroad and it was really our dream home. Before that we moved from country to country and many times within the UK but any move now will have to be made on my own and it's such a huge decision to take. The garden is very big and although I have a gardener it's getting out of hand. There's a big problem coming up in the house in the near future and it's wearing me down. I don't have any neighbours to rely on and am a few miles outside a little village. When I stop driving it will be imperative to move (no public transport). I agree in principle with those who have said to make the move now as opposed to it being something that has to be done quickly and maybe without much choice of house or location but I've never done anything as big as this on my own. I remember all the dozens and dozens of houses we viewed before finding this one and how many of those I loved at the time and would have bought happily except that DH saw problems or didn't like them and in the end he was absolutely right. I just don't trust myself to make such a gigantic decision on my own. I admire all those GN'ers who have done this and wish I had your confidence, well done to you all.

How do I persuade OH to move.? He says he likes it here. He has been told by a nurse to sit with his feet up. He ignores the advice to exercise his leg so lies in a reclining chair watching tv. I am fed up of taking food upstairs to the lounge, He won’t have a stair lift. The garden is a jungle. We have no close neighbours & I don’t know any one in the nearby town. Family don’t ring or visit. I spoke to the supermarket cashier and the telephone engineer last week. There are times I feel like moving on my own. Moan over.

To be honest even if you don’t plan to move you should start a slow but steady declutter. Otherwise you are just delegating!

Oh how I sympathise with you. I am desperate to move but OH won’t even consider it. Living in a rural area with no neighbours, shops or any services. Property has 5 acres of land which is divided up into garden area, orchard and fields none of which are on the level. I do have someone in to help with managing the ‘natural areas’ but the gardens are left to me. OH has no interest in gardening but enjoys looking at the surrounding countryside through the window!!! Now 75 it’s all getting too much and I worry about the future re being able to drive and would really like to move whilst still fit and able and capable of making a good decision.

We think about moving every couple of years. Not got round to it yet. Love our house absolutely love the area. No crime lovely neighbours very quiet. But the house is far too big for us two rattling around in it and c tax is mad! The thing that makes us hesitant is what about the neighbours what would they be like you just don’t know. We will have to give it some serious thought sooner rather than later. We have moved plenty of times and actually enjoy moving to dif areas. But to be honest it would make sense to downsize.

I know it would be best to down size and move but can't bear the thought of possible 'bad' neighbours. Also I have so much wildlife surrounding me, peace and quiet. Luckily I still drive as there are no buses and shops, doctor, hospital just a mile away. I have rescued cats who are not street wise and would probably be killed if I moved from here. My huge is partly controlled by a gardener with some input from me. I think reading all the other comments, I will definitely stay put!!

We moved to our new home 3 years before we retired, our 4 bed detached house was too big for us after the children moved out and no longer suited our lifestyle. So we moved from having the biggest garden on the plot to a bungalow which had more of a courtyard vibe more suited to our advancing years.
The bungalow is also within easy walking distance to a bank of shops (mini supermarket, pharmacy, off licence, vets, doctors surgery, community centre) and on a bus route to our local hospital
I would recommend moving before you retire/whilst you are fit and healthy as no one knows what will happen in the future. Sadly even though we downsized we didn’t release any equity as the bungalow was more expensive than our old house, but I have no regrets having found the perfect forever home

That's awful Casbe and MilestOne. To not even discuss it or consider it is so controlling. I think I would want to talk this over with a counsellor. Or Womens Aid. As a discussion. If one partner is insistent but takes no part in household or garden chores, then that is so unfair. To put such worries for the future on your shoulders is just unkind. I would be starting to review my marriage and my future.

Our mother refused to move, and when she died aged 85 it fell to me to dismantle and sell my and my sisters' childhood home, a distressing job.
Some time before she died, I had already decided that I didn't want our children to have to do this after my death. DH and I put the family house on the market and downsized when he was 70 and I was 60.
Mother was upset; she had expected us to have her furniture eventually. I wanted to say that if she had downsized in her early 60s, we'd have been delighted, but it was TOO LATE.
Now widowed, I'm so glad I can stay in the downsized house, supported by established local friends and neighbours.

I thought about it for a few years and I kept putting off kept saying need to save more or it wasn’t the right time I guess it’s knowing you need to move and being ready to move. I started to look but nothing was saying to me that is your new home then last July I found what I was looking for and I moved 300 miles away near one of my sons into my bungalow best thing I ever did don’t know what took me so long lol just take that leap you won’t regret it

I’d say do it before you have to if it’s going to be a significant downsize. We’re in the process at the moment, after nearly 28 years here (aged 69 & 70). We have a large house in half an acre which we ran as a B&B for 9 years after our daughters left home, rather than downsizing then. We stayed because my elderly parents were nearby & my sisters both live in Australia.
After my parents had both died, we were free to move wherever we wanted. But by then it was late 2019 & when Covid hit, it was impossible to sell their flat. By the time it sold, our daughter had a partner & baby
which meant we didn’t want to live even further from them (3 hr journey at the moment).
Now they have a 2nd baby & want to move from London to Surrey & so we’re about to move to Surrey too.
Since we found a buyer 3 months ago we’ve been selling/donating/recycling ready to downsize to a new build. New builds don’t have the storage of 60s/90s house! We’re so glad we’re young enough to do it, it’s hard work, as was getting the house ready for sale.
Even if moving isn’t an imminent option, start clearing out stuff now!