Child maintenance

How dreadful that costs have reached £100k as mentioned by pp. Our son's costs came to around £1800 to go to court. This included Barrister's fees. He was lucky that mum has seemed to take more heed this time.
I do understand that even with a court order re access, if the resident parent decided to continue to be awkward over access not much happens to them. Yes, you can go back to court again and they get told off, told of threat of contempt of court, not much else.
It helps we think, that mum has had a second child and now is glad that our son takes his son as often as he does.

Nanatoone

Estranged fathers are often abused by the system. We are still at the court stage but the costs are now close to £100k. I won’t go into details but the first thing the child said on collection this week was “you don’t give me choices”, 9 years old and years of parental alienation by the mother has affected all of us. She gets a handsome amount every month (no one minds that) and is in benefits so brings home more than many do as working people. child maintenance doesn’t count against benefits. She has her rent paid, council tax etc, works two mornings and runs a better car than the father. She is also in the torture business and no one seems to care.

No, noone seems to care. Our last court hearing ended with us being told to accept 'crumbs from the table.' In other words accept what you're given or don't see your child at all. My little granddaughter is trying her best to navigate through her sorry life and it breaks my heart.

Estranged fathers are often abused by the system. We are still at the court stage but the costs are now close to £100k. I won’t go into details but the first thing the child said on collection this week was “you don’t give me choices”, 9 years old and years of parental alienation by the mother has affected all of us. She gets a handsome amount every month (no one minds that) and is in benefits so brings home more than many do as working people. child maintenance doesn’t count against benefits. She has her rent paid, council tax etc, works two mornings and runs a better car than the father. She is also in the torture business and no one seems to care.

Coolgran65

*keeping quiet* you son doesn't have to agree with what the mother insists upon if it is unreasonable. Certainly not to the extent of having to give up his full time job in order to comply and see the child. Our son had these sort of issues with the mother of his little boy. In the end our son took it to court and the access provided in a court order is excellent. No more issues.We paid his legal costs and he pays us back at £100 per month by DD. Well worth every penny. She tortured our son, changing arrangements at the last minute, deciding she didn't want to share him this week, etc.
Going to the solicitor was the best step ever.

It didn't work like that for us. We went through the court system but couldn't afford a solictor. She got legal aid. We are happy for now with the court order but the worry continues. Torture is a good word, but we are settling into a routine now, although she still wants to continue fighting a battle that is finished, It's all very sad. The CM is nothing to do with the court, but the insisting on mid-week visit was. It's a crazy system I'm glad I'm out of it now. My son earns minimum wage on all three jobs. He is still in debt. It has been very hard on him and his daughter, whose mother has never worked and has no intention of doing so, Beng a single mum is tough, but being a single father is worse.

crazyH

I hope the money had been wisely invested for Suri …

Her mother seems very sensible, and earns well.

I’m sure Suri is well provided for.

I’m more curious if she will choose to see him

I was able to separate my feelings about matters financial from access. I am saddened when children are not given the right to see the non custodial parent, assuming that is what they want, because of money.

keeping quiet you son doesn't have to agree with what the mother insists upon if it is unreasonable. Certainly not to the extent of having to give up his full time job in order to comply and see the child. Our son had these sort of issues with the mother of his little boy. In the end our son took it to court and the access provided in a court order is excellent. No more issues.We paid his legal costs and he pays us back at £100 per month by DD. Well worth every penny. She tortured our son, changing arrangements at the last minute, deciding she didn't want to share him this week, etc.
Going to the solicitor was the best step ever.

BTW, I've never been a fan of his. I could never see the appeal, nor think he is a more talented actor than the average.

I think I read that somewhere as well, but I'm assuming that she would be off to university so not an independent adult yet. I wonder if he is still responsible and willing to pay for her costs.

I never got anything either. He played the system but I managed, I do think a lot of women stop good fathers from seeing their children. To some men and women, children are used as pawns in a game.

I don't see the point of the post, both parents are multi-millionaires so it's not a huge amount to them. The daughter's been estranged from her father for years which isn't particularly interesting either. Noone's business but theirs.

My son works three jobs in order to pay maintenance for his child who he only sees once a week for a few hours.

She is small for her age and very thin whilst her mum is clapping weight on.

He recently gave up a full-time job so he could see his child on a week day as this is what her mum insists on.

I have no interest whatsoever in Tom Cruise, his ex partners or his children.

It's not always the man who is at fault though - sometimes it's the mum.

Good for you BlueBelle. At least I only had one to provide for.

My ex decided against any well paid long term work: he left that task to me.

GSM mine too I never had a penny for my 3 children and the authorities could never find him when I gave them addresses and then he emigrated so no point in trying any more
So I did it my way and we all survived

You are so right Sarnia. My ex husband was one such. The system can be played and he was told how to do it.

I hope the money had been wisely invested for Suri …

I doubt he's missed that amount of money given what he's worth but credit to him for paying it. Too many men weasel out of paying to help support their children and the system in this country is on the absent father's side to many a single Mum's frustration.

He is said to be worth around 600 million. Do, probably not a problem for him.