Do I deserve this treatment.

My mother, newly moved from Wales asked a butcher for faggots. ‘Madam,’ he said ‘ They are savoury ducks’. I think they quickly reverted back to faggots

I used to be partial to a spam fritter and chips.

Newly married, I went into a posh butchers, which sold a variety of cold meats. I asked for Spam (my husband's request) to be told: Madam, WE don't sell Spam! This is a quality butchers. I was mortified. 🤣

Lovely spam!

youtube.com/shorts/UsbAh-_K1Wg?si=NL8MAcvkdJpK2TIU

I’m rather partial to a spam sandwich. Only if it’s hot grilled spam though.

Actually I don’t mind a tomato cup-a-soup either. Decisions, decisions…..

His wife said 'Right, lunch, do you want a cup'a'soup or a Spam sandwich?' Oh, the disappointment!
A difficult choice Hetty. 😁

I’m gobsmacked at this post. D you deserve to be treated this way? No it seems you may deserve far less. How entirely spoiled and ungrateful this post sounds.

It's nice to be offered something - and to see that your host has made an effort and considered your needs. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, though. I'm not too keen on soup, except before a meal. I might have soup instead of lunch sometimes but I wouldn't give that to a guest. Once, we went to visit my late husband's golfing friend. His wife said 'Right, lunch, do you want a cup'a'soup or a Spam sandwich?' Oh, the disappointment!

I would have expected to be offered a biscuit Hetty.

My ex (very odd) neighbour told us she baked three dozen cup cakes every Saturday morning. She'd eat one as a 'reward' and the rest went into a cake tin - to be doled out, one each after dinner - to her family of five - for the rest of the week. As soon as she was gone, my little daughter said 'One each? That's just cruel!'

I have just asked a friend if she's free for coffee this afternoon, and am delighted to announce that I have found a packet of chocolate HobNobs in the cupboard . I am 100% sure that she wouldn't be upset if I didn't offer them though, any more than I would be if I went to her house and 'just' got a drink. We come or go for one another's company, not to get fed.

You would be disappointed here Hetty, I don’t keep any snacks or biscuits in the house - we would scoff them ourselves and not be thin as a rake like you! I’m amazed at the amount of food your family must have eaten each day. We had breakfast, dinner (lunch) and tea (dinner), and a cup of tea mid-morning and afternoon. If I knew in advance that someone would drop in for coffee I would have cake to offer them, but not if it was a chance encounter.

Same here, particularly if it was a spontaneous invitation. If I ate more than a biscuit at 4.30 it would put me off my dinner, too.

In the unlikely event that I invited someone ahead of time (eg asking on a Monday if they wanted to come for tea on Wednesday) I would ensure that I had cake or something to offer them, but usually I just have biscuits. I definitely wouldn’t be upset at only being offered tea or coffee though. I see that wort of invitation as more about being sociable than about food.

Hetty, I just can’t imagine what anyone would expect to be given at 4.30 in the afternoon, possibly a biscuit?
It’s not actually how we were brought up, we too seemed to have multipal snacks, but I don’t think it’s necessary, and if someone invited me in mid afternoon for a cup of tea, that’s all I would want or expect.

Maybe our expectations depend on our background. I was brought up with breakfast, elevenses, lunch, tea and dinner (sometimes supper too) - and multiple snacks. I'm thin as a rake and don't know why. We would treat any visitors to lovely, hearty food, especially if we'd invited them - just part of being good, friendly hosts.

Sara1954, I always have a stash of snacks and biscuits to offer people - any time of day - so it just seemed very odd to me.

Hetty58

JollySailor, I would have been very disappointed too. I would have expected a good afternoon tea - extra treats as well for Mothers Day. Still, like you, I wouldn't have said anything and would just put it down to thoughtlessness. I would not have complained to my other daughter, though, as it would be sure to cause trouble between them. She may not say anything now, but she'll be so disappointed with her sister.

I don’t understand how it’s thoughtless. She was invited, made welcome and got to spend time with her daughter and grandchildren.

Thoughtless would be receiving nothing.

Which may well be what this daughter does next year. When nothing is good enough, nothing it may well be.

Hetty, that would have been me, a cup of tea, what else would you expect at 4.30?

I do remember, though, a neighbour was also doing her garden - and she said 'Come in for tea, about 4.30!' I said 'Oh, that's nice, I will!' What did I get? Tea - a cup of tea, not even a biscuit!

JollySailor, I would have been very disappointed too. I would have expected a good afternoon tea - extra treats as well for Mothers Day. Still, like you, I wouldn't have said anything and would just put it down to thoughtlessness. I would not have complained to my other daughter, though, as it would be sure to cause trouble between them. She may not say anything now, but she'll be so disappointed with her sister.

So much said in one X Primrose.

nadateturbe

I didn't get anything from my eldest son except a little text which said Love you mum.
That's enough.

Sounds like my son - he gave me a really nice card and a massive bar of chocolate. He is just not one for sentimentality. Never has been. As I opened the envelope I said “I’m hoping for something inside here as you know.” He said “well there’s no money in there”. I said “All I want is a kiss.” Opened the card and there it was, a X. That made my day.

Yes , but not surprised.
They will no doubt have a ‘lightbulb’ moment at some stage.
If it happens frequently then time for a little chat, maybe something on the lines of ‘ ‘ have I upset you ‘ ?best wishes

Yesterday I received some beautiful flowers from DS who lives in Aus. The card read "To a wonderful mum from a forgetful son". I was thrilled as he usually remembers at the end of May that he forgot UK Mothers day, and my birthday at the beginning of May.