unexplained bruising starts a panic!

My youngest daughter was extremely accident prone. She fell over her own feet. She always had cuts and bruises. She broke her arm when she was 5. Spent an overnight in hospital arm was in plaster for 4 weeks. She also had her appendix removed when she was 5. No one questioned anything.

MummyJoJo62 my instinct is to say better safe than sorry in a general way, but if the child is really happy at the nursery why change it because they were over -cautious?

It does seem heavy handed of the nursery to involve SS before anything else. Especially as the small child had to be interrogated. He is only 3 for heaven's sake!

When aged 11 and small for his age, my DS was frightened by a strange man who offered him a lift after football practice. He told us and we were pleased he had said no and ran home. He begged us not to call the police but we did. I felt it was important to make others aware. 2 uniformed police arrived and took him away from us to "interview" him. He was very upset and I think it may have made him less likely to confide in us. It's a long time ago but not forgotten.

When I was teaching in an infant school we had to log any bruises/marks at school. We had body maps and had to draw where the bruise was, and at the side annotate it, so what it looked like, approximate size, colour, what the child had said had happened when asked (they often didn’t know) and sign and date it. Also the names of any other staff who had seen it. It was then filed and wouldn’t be seen again unless any further marks were noted. There would normally need to be several marks before Social Services would be informed. Obviously if even one mark was suspicious we would have acted. But children sustain mild injuries all the time through normal play and activities and whilst we need to be diligent, we need to expect children to be engaged in rough and tumble play and also to have minor accidents.

I'll never forget changing my baby girls nappy and seeing purple blotches all over her legs. Total panic until I saw the blotches on my hands. Turns out the dye had run on her new navy baby gro which mum had bought cheap at the market. Mum was mortified, I was just relieved.

On a slightly lighter note, my first husband went to the doctor fearing he'd developed a melanoma. The doctor took one look, laughed, and said that he would eventually die of something, but it wasn't going to be bruising. Turned out to be caused by the blood thinners he was taking.

In infant school my daughter's teacher asked her if her mummy and daddy were hurting her because her legs wete covered in bruises, she said no I hurt it on the bench over there. I'd rather they asked than miseed something

I agree but I see him and care for him at least twice a week and he's not even that accident prone. I know the history of every bump and scratch both of them have sustained so this is a complete mystery.
Anyway thank you for everyone for responding.

I once had to take three of my four children to A&E within a couple of weeks and they picked up on it and questioned me. Fortunately it was on record that the first two had accidents at school so it was fine.
Difficult if you don't know how it happened, but hard to see why one bruise resulted in all this interest. I think that there may be a back story, previous injuries to your grandson or other children at the nursery with recurrent injuries. It's very unlikely that one occurence to one child would result in this amount of interest.

It's a pity the Social Services are not so involved with children well known to be abused. They don't act quick enough in some cases and then it's too late. If that was my GC we would be changing nursery straight away. Ask questions then act not act before asking questions.

I remember being sent out of the room by a doctor, when DD attended A&E for the third time in a month and they quizzed her about what happened.
She compounded it by saying, It was my dad's fault.
What she should have said was that her chore was to set the table for dinner, but as usual didn't do it. She ran like a bat out of hell, when she heard his car in the drive, caught her finger in the door jamb and broke it!
I had to explain that she was dyspraxic and dyslexic and was always getting into scrapes.

As a teacher, I had no qualms about reporting suspicions. On one occasion Police attended a home, to find bare floorboards and not a stick of furniture in the house. Those children were put into care that same night.

The more I’m thinking about this the more I think If it had happened in nursery they would have had to fill out an incident report and if fisted are due to visit and they have another incident form too many? Just saying!
Dd is adamant he didn’t go in to school with a bruise and if had sustained it in nuursery then fine! It happens! Daddy put his cycle helmet on his head HE would have noticed it as he was fastening it as it’s a shiner!!!

I remember many years ago a school calling in Social Services when a teacher reported seeing red marks across the back of the child’s legs on a frequent basis. She hadn’t taken into account that it was a hard winter, and the marks were caused by wellington boots. At the time the teacher and the school were condemned by many, but I really think that they were diligent in their care of the child. If there had been a totally different outcome, they could have been criticised for ignoring it. Having said that, I have much empathy, it must be a horrible feeling knowing that you are suspected of hurting your child

I believe the nursery did the right thing and wasn’t covering its back. Better that one innocent bruise is investigated than a child is killed. I hope there isn’t a change of nursery because of this. That would look suspicious and would penalise a nursery which seems very much on the ball. Good for them.

Standard procedure with ONE bruise !!! Surely not
My grandaughter has dyspraxia and all through primary school her legs would be bruised plus a few breaks and twists Even now as a young adult she manages some big old bruises

But putting that aside I could understand it completely if it had happened a few times, but once, that’s way over efficient and yet children die at the hands of abusers whilst they are coming out over the one bruise !! if they paid more attention to the ones that had regular bruising or showed signs of fear etc or who weren’t in nursery or school when they should have been that would be much better

If they are going to come out to the little lad every time he has a bruise you’re going to be good friends by the time he grows up

One of mine was accident prone. In those days chilren had school medicals and the examining Dr said my child had presented with bruising to the face arms and legs. She had fallen earlier in the week whilst running down the hill from school with her hands in her pockets. I felt dreadful but luckily i had been walking home with a GP friend who could vouch for said accident. As i say she was so accident prone i took a donation of plasters in to school.

Thank you everyone. What a great place this is!!
I think nursery were worried they were going to get the blame so jumped in first
He did not have a bruise at 7 30 in the morning but did have one by the end of the day! However its their word against mums isn't it? I think it was because no-one could come up with a reason that it all got over reacted but my dd is very traumatised!
I reckon next time he gets an unexplained bump on the head or graze on his knees we have to make something up!! It definitely won't be that last accident hell have after all!! Thanks again lovely Granniesxx

No need to worry. This happens a lot and better to be safe than sorry. My DD was hit with a bat by accident while playing in a friend's garden. She was just in the wrong place as one of the boys wielded his bat. She had to go to A &E and shortly after a social worker called. It was clear it was an accident so she left satisfied all was well.

The nursery are acting in good faith and, given the number of awful stories regarding child abuse, no-one can surely argue. My son fell and hit his head when he was four and the doctor asked him what happened. I fully expected a call from social services but they were obviously happy with what he said. I would rather a nursery over react than a child goes under the radar. Of course I'm not suggesting anything like that with your grandson, OP, but better safe than sorry

DS2, then aged5, broke his collarbone on holiday. He was treated in the local cottage hospital and enjoyed the rest of the holiday with his arm in a sling. On our return home, we had an unexpected visit from our health visitor, following up the hospital report.
That was nearly 40 years ago, I remember being quite impressed that different Health Boards communicated effectively.

If the boy regularly had unexplained bruises, I can understand the nursery calling in social services, but after just one bruise, it is an over reaction.

I can remember back in the mid-1970s, DD who was very active and fearless ended up with three sets of bruises, 2 on one arm, one on the other and I actually joked, that I hoped no one would see her and report her to social services. I knew exactly how each occurred and all resulted from a 4 year old, and a bike she was determined to ride without stabilisers, and when she fell off or cycled into a wall, no matter how hard, she kept going.

it is standard procedure.

My eldest GS fell down the stairs - well 2 actually - and banged his head. DD took him to the local hospital and was “questioned” by the doctor. She said it made her feel very uncomfortable, but understood the reason, and was grateful for it.

But we didnt find out all that until a few years later.

Got words a bit in the wrong order.

If I were the boy's mother I would find another nursery at once!

Unless your daughter looked very hangdog when asked about it, there was absolutely no reason for the nursery head to involve social services, who were probably bound to act as they did.

Of course, my remarks are based on the presumption that this is the first time the child has had bruises when turning up at nursery on a Monday morning.

If it is a regular occurence then the nursery had to act.