Have just given our car to grandson. Empty drive syndrome.

Giving up your independence (by having a car) is hard. You made a wise choice though considering all your other transport options. Congratulations!

Your Grandson will NEVER forget your loving gesture - and I’m sure will shower it with respectful, loving care. I would hope.

I’m guessing he would even be happy to give you a lift in an emergency if that should happen.

I will reach that stage sooner than later myself - I’ll see how magnanimous I am and hopefully not throw a tantrum. 🙄
USA Gundy

Great post lovetopaint. I’m the daughter who’s had to had that conversation with my DM about her driving ability . She’s 87 and due to covid and several falls, she hadn’t driven for a few years . Last October she drove me to a garden centre and frightened the life out of me. Her reactions were slow , she couldn’t judge the speed of oncoming traffic when making a manoeuvre and due to arthritis in her back struggled to turn when looking right or left. Back at home I very gently and kindly told her, that she wasn’t safe to drive anymore. I’m retired and assured her I would take her to appointments, shopping etc. she wasn’t happy and gave me that pursed lips look of disapproval that I remember from childhood.
A few days later she told my siblings that she’d decided not to drive anymore due to her mobility , which I suppose was her way of not losing face .
Recently she told me that she was actually relieved that id made that decision for her. Also 8 years ago myself and my siblings had persuaded her to move to an area with great transport links and five minutes walk to shops , banks, pharmacies etc , knowing she may not be driving at some point .

I dread the day I have to give up driving. The benefits to me against the drawbacks are immeasurable. As to the real cost - who knows? Cars lose value as soon as they’re driven out of the garage. Residual value then depends on mileage, condition and service history. Some cars (like my previous) need expensive repairs, others can go for years with just a service, which is also an unknown figure. Petrol/diesel is down to consumption/mileage and insurance is a minefield.
However, my DD’s only live 25mikes away, so a 25minute drive, but 2 buses and nearer 2 hours away, subject to me crossing 4 lanes of fast moving traffic to the bus stop! Taxi - £48, so going up 9 times in 14 days, as I did recently just wouldn’t be possible.
I also know that when my driving days are over, that will be the catalyst to move house.

When my drive was finally empty my life changed much but superficially only. This was because I used my car for nothing meaningful. I now have time for stuff that matters more than driving here and there.

However I have a large wild garden with trees, a little dog, family nearby, and good online deliveries. If I lacked any of those I'd feel my car was necessary.

I gave up my car about 10 years ago because we rarely needed a car at the same time - I deeply regret this. DH became more possessive about 'his' car and has gradually made me afraid of driving it, while I still have a licence, thanks to him. driving for me has become a rarity!

I don’t enjoy driving since I retired, but I would miss my car if I didn’t have it to pop to the shop when dh is out with one of his hobbies.
My daughter thinks we should get rid of one of the cars but I have seven grandchildren so couldn’t give one a car without the others

In our rural area public transport is negligible and taxis are rare. A car is essential. Of course improving public transport would help but the Tories don't care.

Hetty58 I’m sure in London you have the best of all possible worlds, but if I want to visit my best friend, I have to catch two buses, and then walk to her house. It’s a fifteen minute journey in the car. Similarly if I want to visit my daughter who lives twenty five minutes away. There’s no easy logical way of getting there on a bus! Transport links between here and our town centre are wonderful but they don’t go anywhere else I want or need to go.

I made my kids promise that if THEY ever think I shouldnt be driving they will tell me.... I will stop immediately. I trust their judgement.
I think reactions slow down quite gradually and you can be quite unaware of that process on a day to day basis, so having someone to point that out to you is important and possibly lifesaving.

tanith, yes, each to their own. My family tend to visit me or I get a train and they collect me from the station.

My friend seems eternally lumbered with little driving jobs for her kids and grandkids - so I'm glad I've avoided all that - and she says it's 'only' £65 a week to run her car.

Only? I can take a lot of cabs for that! My youngest daughter uses coaches (the cheapest option for long distance) - ok if you've got all day and don't get travel sick!

That’s right Hetty everyone has different circumstances. My SIL is a very good driver and drives on a daily basis. However, she has said she wouldn’t bother if she lived where we live. She is in her late seventies. My other SIL is the same age as me and that is 82. My bil is 86. They live in the midlands but have a time share in the Canterbury area and family on the way there. Their car is old and is showing signs of wear but the thought of giving it up is not on the table. We stay with them in their time share which has been enjoyable for quite a few years. My daughter has said she will take us there this year. As we take loads of food, drink etc for our relaxing week that will be helpful. Last year their car broke down while we were on our way to a restaurant. It was suggested that it was a right off and it had to be taken back to their home but their usual garage got it going again. My SIL loves driving so she was determined to keep going but didn’t fancy buying a new car. Everyone is different and giving up needs thinking through.

Never have learnt to drive, I’ve never wanted to..
I use buses and shanks’s pony
Very occasionally a train when I need to visit my daughter up country..

Hetty58 I’ve never worked it out and it’s probably more than I estimate. I live in London, good transport links but to visit family who will be moving away it would be a long convoluted train/bus journey taking a couple of hours at best a journey I could drive in less than 50 mins a cab would cost a lot. Besides I do pick up family from Heathrow when they visit. My daughter who’s not allowed to drive and I often take a drive together. Everyone has different circumstances of course each to their own.

(and) exactly how much does it cost to keep a car? I never seem to get a sensible answer to that question. The perceived 'freedom and independence' I can't understand. I can call a cab wherever I go, catch a bus or train, do a round trip without returning to the parking place etc. - all 'freedom' to me.

Surely, unless you live somewhere very remote (like the Highlands of Scotland) there are cabs and shopping deliveries?

Lovetopaint037, I've never had a car - so no 'giving up' trauma for me. I'm so glad to hear that your husband has been sensible and caring enough to recognise his limits. There are many 'oldies' around here that really shouldn't be driving - a real hazard on the roads.

Here in London there's good public transport, plenty of cabs and a good choice of delivery options. The money you save by not running a car can be spent on treats instead - much more interesting!

I don’t want to have to give up driving yet if I can help it. We have good public transport links here, and i use it whenever possible, but I would struggle to get to see friends and my family without the car, and to enjoy some of the things that make my life worth living and boost my confidence at the moment. I’m 77 this year and I hope to have two or three more good years of driving left in me. They can put me out to grass then and maybe I, too, will hand my car over to GS! He drools over it now!

I recently gave my diesel car to one of my GS because of ULEZ, I thought seriously about not replacing it but as some of my family are now moving out of London it would be a difficult and lengthy journey to visit them. So I did replace my car but do understand your decision and nice that your GS has benefitted I’m sure you’ll soon get used to the empty space.

Fleur20

It is much better to stop when you recognise the time is right than be stopped by police or accident or worse.
A big decision but a very wise one.

This
And you now have a very happy DGS😃he can drive you when needed as a thank you.
In the future if I feel unfit to drive will stop and sell the car.I could just about manage as we have regular buses and can have things delivered and use a local taxi.

Still driving, DH had to give up due to eyesight problems. However I'm lucky that we live in an area with very good public transport, and it's free! I said to DD that she must tell me if she thinks that I should stop driving .

Thank you!

So sorry to hear about your injury Siope. Do hope you find what you want and are happy.

Caramme

I can’t believe I am reading this today of all days! This is the day I am selling my car and giving up driving. I too am on a good bus route, use online shopping and have family for backup in an emergency. To be honest I just don’t enjoy driving any more and think I lost confidence during Covid. I have been ‘taking the car for a drive’ every so often just to keep it moving, rather than because I need to use it. So goodbye my trusty 6yr old Leon. My emotional brain is hesitant, my logical brain is saying ‘don’t be ridiculous.’ It is a big step but probably the sensible one.
OP, I hope you find you have made the right decision. Your g’son must be delighted. Such a nice thing to do for him.

Thank you Caramme I could have written this especially the taking out to just keep it moving. Do hope you soon get used to the empty space.
For those concerned about being in a rural area with little transport opportunities I would say again that if we were driving regularly and with purpose I am pretty sure we would have continued. My dh says he is relieved which surprised me but common sense prevails. We are still renewing our driving licenses as they are so useful for id. Also “you never know”.

I’ve happily lived without a car before. I didn’t own one until I was in my mid-30s, and then didn’t need one in a couple of places I lived at times in my 40s and 50s.

Now I live rurally again, and couldn’t drive for most of last year because of an injury. It was dreadfully limiting, as we have no public transport and a taxi to the nearest station is £48 each way. It reinforced my intention to move to somewhere with better walkability and public transport. Once I’ve done so, I will sell my car, and use car-clubs and hire cars if I have to drive anywhere.

It is much better to stop when you recognise the time is right than be stopped by police or accident or worse.
A big decision but a very wise one.

Well done to you both! One grandson beside himself with delight no doubt!