Funeral etiquette

Why not clothes you feel are appropriate, black if you wish, adding brighter accessories to honour the family’s request. There’s something about being comfortable in what you wear

I tend to wear navy or grey to funerals with a neutral or bright top/accessories according to the family’s wishes. In hot weather usually a blue patterned dress. At the last funeral I attended clothing varied from the very colourful to very traditional black. It didn’t matter at all, what was important was that the people wearing the clothes were there. If I think about my parents or close friends funerals I can’t recall what anyone wore. Suspect that’s common.

I gave a funeral dress that is black background with a colour pattern - dark enough to be dark, but with some colour for the non-black-wearing funerals.
I did once go to a neighbour's funeral in my black work suit, and was literally the only one in black. I felt conspicuous, though I'm sure no-one gave a hoot.

It depends if you want to go along with the families wishes.

Last time I went to a funeral (some time ago) only the immediate family were in black/dark colours and everyone else wore an assortment of outfits including patterned dresses. It was mid July so ordinary summer clothes.

Mourning is done in the heart, not in the garments.

Good point BlueBelle do it for the family.
Surely you don't only have black clothes?

I wore a black and white checked dress to a funeral last November with a bright orange cardigan and a black jacket on top. Black shoes, black tights. I wasn’t sure what the etiquette was regarding dress, but when I drove up to the crematorium car park, everyone seemed to be wearing black, so I kept the black jacket on. If bright colours were being worn, I’d have left the black jacket in the car.

Purple, violet or lavender. Purple was a mourning colour which might make you feel better or a navy dress with lots of bright splashes of colour.

It would be wrong to wear black if you've been asked not to.

Kim, but the wishes of the family and/or deceased should be respected, it is not about the attendees.

Go in what feels right for you. Clothes are only outward show.

Why not do what you ve been asked ? instead of what you feel you ought to do
If it’s clearly been suggested wear bright colour's then that’s what is preferred please do what they want, it’s not your day it’s theirs

For funeral for a young child we were asked to wear bright colours.
I decided on purple which is dark and bright to my mind

At my husband’s funeral last year, I didn’t wear a hot pink dress (DH’s favourite) for fear of shocking the attendees but did wear white and turquoise.

Grey? Navy? A colourful scarf/earrings /bag/shoes?

I was going to wear a red and black scarf for a funeral the other week but thought perhaps I shouldn't.

However, the message had been to wear something bright, but most people didn't get the message.

I'd take a colourful scarf which you can swiftly remove and put in your bag if it's not appropriate. Or vice versa.
And perhaps navy blue with a cream top.

Don’t you have navy or grey? Lighten with a scarf in maybe pale blue, pink etc
That said, last year when I went to D’s MIL’s funeral I had been told “not black” and to be fair, the family weren’t in black (but blue, dark green, grey etc)
Everybody else WAS! It was summer and I wore a navy blazer, cream top and beige linen trousers which should have been fine but I’m so glad I didn’t risk anything brighter.

Nowadays, it is no longer about funeral 'etiquette' but the wishes of the family or the deceased- even if they are not what you would expect.

GrannyGravy13

I would wear navy or grey, or maybe even a subdued patterned dress.

Sounds perfect.

That happened to me recently as well, in the end there were only about three of us wearing bright colours apart from family members. I think the idea of a bright scarf or blouse is a good compromise.

Navy with a bright scarf is what I wore to my friends sons funeral,all his 20 something friends wore bright party clothes.It was lovely he would have been happy with that,23 is far too young to die .His friends queued to speak about ,so many the actual cremation was held over until the next day .How great to be so loved .
On the other hand I dont want a funeral just my family getting together .

I have been in that situation. I wore something colourful, as did close friends and family.
The message didn’t get out to everyone so quite a few people wore black.
It really didn’t matter.

I ll be so unhappy if anyone wears black at my funeral ( not that I’ll know too much) I want the brightest colours possible the sun, the rainbow, the flowers in their brightest colours
So if any of you come please do that for me

wear whatever you feel comfortable in...

Black with a lighter scarf, blouse, jacket? Navy blue, grey or brown? I hate being told not to wear black and or wear bright colours; I just don't feel comfortable even if the funeral is classed as a celebration of a life.

Are they actually saying not to wear black or no need to wear black. I’d go along with their wishes but if I didn’t have anything suitable I’d wear what I had. I once went to a funeral where we were asked to wear bright colours so I did although my skirt had some black pattern parts.

I would wear navy or grey, or maybe even a subdued patterned dress.