Feeling alone

Fael that is rather an unkind thing to say to anyone, kindness and compassion are what we all need when we feel alone or troubled. Medication can sometimes have a place when anxiety and depression intrude on our lives but reaching out takes courage and this dear lady found that courage to ask for help.
I hope that we are all capable of sending her our best wishes for her life to feel calm and positive once more and that those very lonely feelings will gradually fade into an acceptance of her loss. Her loved one will stay in her heart and her head forever.

So sorry to read of your sadness, please keep posting on here ,many have had great support and help during what were very dark hours.

Ah Beckett if you were close to me (S Cotswolds) I would be happy to give you a hug and try to help. Support is one of the things a forum like this should offer
Fael I find your words harsh and unhelpful. What is the point of going to the GP? Even if you can get an appointment you'll be offered nothing but drugs and, as one poster said, a telephone number - at the end of which there will quite probably be a two month backlog. The one resource you might find with your GP is a Social Prescriber (if they have one) who could suggest groups and organisation that may help. In an emergency do call the Samaritans. Also, there should be a counselling service close to you, offering counselling hopefully at affordable rates. Reach out and I'm sure you will find someone who will be only too happy to help. Love to you.

Have a virtual hug from me 🤗. We all have those times when things overwhelm us and we feel sad and lonely. People on here have given some excellent tips and advice I hope it helps. I find watching a favourite film, a good book or having an outing (even to the supermarket) if you are able helps me the short term at least. Meanwhile please post again if you still feel down.

Nicolenet

I go to U3A classes and love them. Sadly U3A is losing members/ need new members or they might cancel all these lovely activities. I need this lifeline to avoid loneliness. Otherwise I will have to rejoin local gym... Oh no!

WEA is great too. Have a rummage on their website.

I go to U3A classes and love them. Sadly U3A is losing members/ need new members or they might cancel all these lovely activities. I need this lifeline to avoid loneliness. Otherwise I will have to rejoin local gym... Oh no!

I understand how you feel. Widowed 32 years and very self sufficient, of late I find myself overcome with loneliness. Perhaps aging has something to do with it, tasks are harder and family and friends are becoming fewer. When I get bad news I talk to my husband and although he can’t answer I feel as though it helps. I have tried every hobby going, solitary or in a group but still feel alone. Some days are better than others, getting out for a walk really helps. If you were in my area we could walk together and perhaps find we could become friends. Here is a big virtual hug.

I’m really sorry you’re feeling so low, sharing on here is a good starting point and most people have made good suggestions. You come back on here as much as you like if it helps and I hope things feel much better soon

Beckett - so sorry you’re feeling like this. You obviously have no family that you can turn. How about friends/ neighbours ? You really shouldn’t be on your own if you have just had bad news. Just knock on your neighbour’s door.
Late one night, I was so desperate, because my husband was with his mistress (we were in the middle of separating), I actually called the Samaritans. I knew I wouldn’t do anything silly because I had young children sleeping in their rooms. But they kept chatting to me and I felt so much better .

Fae1

See your GP. That's the place to share this not on a gransnet forum. They can offer you professional help.

Sorry ignore the first one I cant deleated I sent an un spell checked one.
I a widow too not as long as you, but I am more than happy for others to share their pain and sadness on here. I would never meet it with such dismissive harsh words as those quoted above. I am not sure what you bad news is or weather it warrants a doctor or indeed professional advice or just a empathic ear. I am always on the end of a message should you wish to share to a Stanger, a little kindness and understanding go a long way. Sending you a hug. Ignore harsh words and post where ever you want.

So sorry you feel so sad,consider yourself hugged,maybe look on YouTube for something light to watch that might interest you,one thing leads to another & it might give you a little break from your sadness,so hope you feel better soon,make sure you eat well & have protein etc.,good luck,keep in touch lots of very kind people on Gransnet.

Could you possibly share which area you live in, Becket? One of your Gransnet friends might live near....

Fae1

See your GP. That's the place to share this not on a gransnet forum. They can offer you professional help.

I a a widow too not as long as you and i am more than happy for others to share their pain and i would never meet it with such dismissive harsh words. I am not sure what you badnews is but I am always on the end of a message should you wish to sahe to a stanger a little kindness and understanding go a long way. Sending you a hug . Ignore harsh words and post where ever you want.

Beckett

I have been widowed for around 15 years and am used to being alone and have become very self sufficient.

However, I have recently had some bad news and suddenly find myself feeling very lonely and wishing I had someone special to just give me a hug and tell me everything will be OK. I am spending my time watching TV, comfort eating junk food and bursting into tears.

Anyone else been through this and any advice on how to deal with it?

If you are anywhere near the West Sussex/ Hampshire border just message me to arrange a meeting. I would be happy to meet and give you a hug and tell you everything will be ok. Mine is a version involving trusting in God. Here's a virtual hug in the meantime.

I've been widowed 5 years. I have a full active, fulfilling life with family, friends and fellowship.

However, I do get lonely: lonely for my husband. For his physical presence and touch especially in harder times.

I don't think it will ever leave as I love and miss him, greatly.

It's understandable you feel as you do. There been some good advice so I don't have anymore to add I can think of, right now

As for the poster who thinks you shouldn't have shared it, ignore them: if a post isn't appropriate Gransnet will take it down. This doesn't come under that section.

Forums are also here for support, help and advice
.

Fae1

See your GP. That's the place to share this not on a gransnet forum. They can offer you professional help.

Feeling alone and lonely is not a matter for the doctor. You have just gaslit her. Which is a wicked thing to do.

I felt like you when my father died. My mum died young my brother committed suicide and although I had a family, nobody understood how it felt to be me. I felt terrible until I got a card from my office which had "Happy Birthday" crossed out and "Sorry" written over the top and inside was the explanation - I just got sent out to get a card for you!! I suddenly saw the funny side and started giggling. They knew me well enough to know that I would find it funny. after all the sympathy cards, that was the one that got me out of the doldrums! It will happen for you too.

You will get through this. If you are strong enough to be self sufficient, you are strong enough to recognise that there is also a place in your life for a good friend or two because there are times when you just need another human being to empathise with you and give you a hug, and you are also strong enough to make that happen. Join something (or everything then drop stuff you don't like so much) and instead of being self sufficient, help others - it helps you in the long run. The u3a has lots of interest groups you could join - walking, books, Spanish, Scrabble, Canasta, Photography - have a look at the website and just get in touch. Or you could volunteer to help in a school or charity shop.

Here's a virtual HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!
And your message reminded me of reading about Silverline, founded by Esther Ranzten

I googled and discovered
^Call free on 0800 4 70 80 90

The Silver Line Helpline is a free, confidential telephone service just for older people.
We provide friendship, conversation and support^

And the website is www.thesilverline.org.uk/

Hope it might help. x

I felt alone since I am the last member of my family left. My sister passed away last March. I am so fortunate to have one of my daughter's living not too far away. I also have a small West Highland terrier. I find her s great comfort. She listens, doesn't mind if I moan and grumble and needs a walk at least twice a day. Fresh air and the countryside do help to calm your spirit when you feel low, people are not the only answer to loneliness.

Fae1

See your GP. That's the place to share this not on a gransnet forum. They can offer you professional help.

How unwelcoming.. the OP is lonely not ill

I am so sorry to hear how you are feeling. There is lots of good advice in this thread, so here I am adding a link to a well researched article on things which help when we feel lonely. I do hope it helps you - I think there are some good ideas here.
I wish I had read this when I was at my most lonely - I send you a virtual hug.

www.google.com/url?client=internal-element-cse&cx=003750150904750553172:ujfvif4jt1o&q=https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/11_things_to_do_when_you_feel_lonely&sa=U&ved=2ahUKEwjXmYfyxKv9AhWQcvEDHe-YDgQQFnoECAkQAg&usg=AOvVaw319_5KUv0ueFBs0VXgqoEg

Fae1

See your GP. That's the place to share this not on a gransnet forum. They can offer you professional help.

Many people in Becketts situation receive a lot of kindness and sympathy from other posters. Unless she has a Dr like my last one there won’t be much hugging and sympathy, just a telephone number.

Walking is my passion. Even saying good morning to someone just that small gesture makes me feel better. Speak with your GP. Look around for various groups and stay motivated to go to these. Easier said than done but they are worth the effort. Big cuddle from up in Bonny Scotland today.

[Fael] why shouldn't the OP share on here? Not all of us are physically able to just go out for a walk/activity etc to improve our mental health...
[Beckett] i hope you're having a better day and Yes I get lonely too and hard to share feelings with even good friends sometimes so please feel free to share here

See your GP. That's the place to share this not on a gransnet forum. They can offer you professional help.