Dog friendly? What would you do?

Dogs are much nicer than many humans

Lathyrus

Don’t you think it all hinges on whether the OP imposed her dog on the group or not?

Yes. It never occurred to me on my first reading that OP hadn't asked/told the others about the dog in advance.

I think one of her friends should have eaten with her.

The way it played out, I'd still have gone home. I'd not have been convinced , by anyone, to do option 1.

The OP hasn’t responded if others brought dogs along or not.

If hers was the solitary dog, that is your answer.

But that’s what you would have wanted to do Smileless, so that would be fine.

Clearly the rest of the group didn’t want to that.

I think it’s unreasonable that the OP should be annoyed that people wouldn’t do what she thought they should to make her meal what she wanted.

It is a bit all about what she wants isn’t it?

Well we're all different aren't we and I would have done the same as Fleurpepper and not allowed my friend to eat alone or go home because staying would have meant her eating alone.

I see what Lathyrus is getting at though.

Someone changing the parameters of an arrangement to suit themselves, whether by bringing a dog, a child or a husband to an arranged outing, can't expect others to fall in line just because she wants to do it that way. We don't know whether that was the case, but if so, I think it was rude to bring the dog, however much he is loved by the OP.

I would have asked if it was ok to bring the dog before agreeing to go, and would have asked if others were happy to eat in a dog-friendly area before expecting it of them. If I'd been there and someone was eating on her own because of the dog I'd probably have gone to sit with her, but would have felt that my experience of a group lunch was being watered down a bit. I'm a dog lover though, and am not allergic or afraid of them - if someone had brought a pet spider she'd be on her own .

3

I do find the group’s reaction quite surprising. As you are very friendly with many of them, and have possibly walked with them and your dog before, at least those, who knew you, could have agreed to sit with you in the conservatory which I imagine would have been quite a pleasant area. The dog would have been with you, probably under the table, and not causing a fuss. If the dog had perhaps jumped up at someone with muddy paws then I might understand how they’d decamp to the dining room but on the whole I do find it really odd that
the whole group abandoned you, I presume there weren’t any “issues” on the walk that caused them to be so unfriendly. It’s quite sad really. I love dogs and would be more than happy to have one along with me on a walk. You made the right decision, incidentally. Better than eating alone (well a lone human). Strange people.

It’s done it again. Dog.

DH not DH

Oh dear. I look at it like this.

A group goes out for a walk. They don’t all know each other but they are looking forward to a group walk and chat and a meal together afterwards.

Then one member of the group brings along their dog. Ok. It doesn’t make much difference on the walk except maybe there’s someone who has had a bad experiences with dogs and are uncomfortable. But they don’t say anything and just manage though it does spoil the walk for them a bit.

Then the group gets to the eating place and the dog owner wants to eat where she can bring the dog. Now that group has three choices just like the OP.

1. Do just what the dog owner wants, even though everybody else wants to eat in the restaurant, because the DH needs to be accomodated.
2. Split the group, even though everybody else wants to eat together, some people must go and be with the OP so that the dog can be accommodated.
3. Decide it was the OPs choice to bring her dog along. She did what she wanted so it’s ok for the rest of the people in the group to do what they want and eat in the restaurant.

It seems to me that the OP was the one who expected people to just fall in with what she wanted and was put out when they did what they wanted instead.

Did any of your friends pass comment to you when the decision was made to eat in the area dogs weren't allowed? Or when you said you were going to go home?
I'm just wondering if it was pure thoughtlessness on their part that the one room you couldn't go into was chosen?

I'd have been hurt as well and yes I'd have gone home.
Being left to eat on your own like Billy-no-mates while they carried on socialising would have been far worse ☹️

At least you'll be forewarned if you ever decide to join them for a walk again...

I would have gone home, would not leave him tied up. I would not expect a whole group to alter their arrangements and fall in with my wishes. Perhaps you might be better walking with people who do have dogs. I would not leave my dog and go on a walk for 1 1/2 hours he might not speak to me again?

Lathyrus

Smileless2012

Personally I wouldn't compare someones GC to someone else's dog.

Wouldn’t you? It seemed the same sort of thing to me. Bringing someone uninvited to a group without checking it was ok.

Bear in mind the OP said some of the group were not friends but unknown people.

Not everyone is happy to eat a meal with a dog. I wouldn’t just expect a whole group to fall in with what I wanted.

OK yes, some were not friends. But some were- If I had been one of them, and the non-friends had suggested eating in part of the restaurant where dogs were not welcome, I would have asked the to reconsider, and if they chose to go ahead to restaurant, made my excuses and sat and ate with my friend, and her dog. That is what friends do!

Was your dog well behaved on the walk? If so, that was really rude of those people. They should have eaten in the conservatory with you. I'm a dog lover and can't imagine treating you that way. Better to do things alone than be around such nasty jerks.

There is no way that I would let someone eat on their own.

I would have gone home with my dog.

I'm not a doggy person, however, so not particularly keen on eating around dogs and I would have preferred it had you not brought yours. BUT I would have felt very bad to see you either eating on your own or, worse, going home and I would have pointed this out and suggested we all move to somewhere where we could be together.

A dog on a walk in the country for me isn't the same as children being brought along uninvited, to an organised event. Even if some of the group that she didn't know didn't know she owned and would no doubt bring her dog along, her friends must surely have known, and IMO at least one of them should have eaten their lunch with her.

I would have gone home too OP no way would I tie my dog up outside.
I would also gladly have sat in the dog friendly area.

Smileless2012

Personally I wouldn't compare someones GC to someone else's dog.

Wouldn’t you? It seemed the same sort of thing to me. Bringing someone uninvited to a group without checking it was ok.

Bear in mind the OP said some of the group were not friends but unknown people.

Not everyone is happy to eat a meal with a dog. I wouldn’t just expect a whole group to fall in with what I wanted.

I would have done 3, definitely. And then reviewed my "friendship" group.

However, I do think it matters whether the group knew you were taking the dog with you, or if you just turned up with the dog in tow.

If they didn't know the dog was coming, then maybe this was a passive-aggressive action to make it known they didn't approve.

But if they knew in advance, and didn't approve, or welcome the dog (weird people, if that's the case - personally I'd take the company of a dog over the vast majority of humans any day), then you'd have hoped that at least one of the group that you did know well, would have said something to you ahead of the walk, rather than ostracising you at lunch time.

Personally I wouldn't compare someones GC to someone else's dog.

Our last dog, adopted as an elderly dog, could not be left alone. All our friends knew that and totally respected it- so arrangements to meet always included us + dog.

Only 1 solutions for me in such a case- 3!

I would say that they selfish, inconsiderate and had no manners and I wouldn’t bother with them again unless you have to. It’s not as if there wasn’t a choice and they knew you couldn’t take the dog into the restaurant. I’m sure the conservatory would have been fine. It beggars believe that there are people who behave in this appalling way.

I would have gone home and had lunch with my dog.

I would never tie a dog up anywhere.

I was in a pensioners social group outing a couple of weeks ago and someone brought along her uninvited, unexpected grandchildren because she thought they would be interested in the activity.

Dog, grandchildren, friend, partner, bad manners to bring them uninvited to a group, don’t you think?