Anyone else struggling after returning to the UK?

Oh, I must order some.
I know they're calorific but they are a must-have on Christmas Day.
I remember the French children I looked after many years ago used to dunk them in bowls of hot chocolate.
Yuk!

Yummy!

"I remember the French children I looked after many years ago used to dunk them in bowls of hot chocolate."
Just like churros....

Soggy! ?

I have had the odd dunk ? but the strangest thing I remember as a child in France was chocolate sandwiches, pieces of chocolat between two slices of bread. Never did take to it.

Kalu

I have had the odd dunk ? but the strangest thing I remember as a child in France was chocolate sandwiches, pieces of chocolat between two slices of bread. Never did take to it.

I remember DS coming home from an exchange trip to France; the French mother had packed them a baguette each filled with chocolate.
Neither DS nor the French boy had eaten them.

Easier just to spread Nutella.

When I was last in France,down near Bordeaux the whole area was saturated with houses for sale by elderly Brits. Apparently the lack of local buses and trains made it very difficult to live in their lovely houses.when they needed medical care.. But if you are still able to drive have you considered getting a camper van to explore our beautiful country? You could take GC's and/or go back and visit France..without the enormous upheaval of actually moving..

Brittany is very much the same pascal30. Lots of elderly Brits who bought large ish rural houses with big gardens they could never hope to afford in the UK. Now they want to sell up and return but can't shift their properties to French people.
I have a friend who is scared stiff about her DH having to go into a retirement home as he won't understand a thing they say .... just like the OP said was their main reason for leaving.

Well here goes, this is not a Brit bashing but a truth
My mother was placed in a Home by Social Services after
they decided her own first floor flat without a lift was unfit for her.
My Aunt rang me after a few weeks and told me to come and
get my mother as she constantly stank of urine and was unhappy (they were both in their 80's.)
I found a place for her near me in a residential home which was cheaper than the English one and on a much higher level
( anything was better than 2 terrace houses which had been knocked together) When I took my mother they said she would'nt last 3 months, she lived another 3 years
The language was never a problem the French carers were
brilliant at teaching her a few words and as she was quite
down the line with Dementia she never really realised where
she was.
Altogether I felt it had been the best move.

Hithere

Yummy!

"I remember the French children I looked after many years ago used to dunk them in bowls of hot chocolate."
Just like churros....

My French exchange girl’s mother (I was 14) used to dunk her breakfast tartine in a bowl of milky tea. Apart from being startled that it wasn’t coffee (I’d thought the French only drank coffee) the sight of all those golden globules of melted butter floating on her tea used to make me heave.

Oh yes, the shiny floating butter globules! ?

My in-laws lived in France for half the year from 1990. They sold up and moved back permanently 12 years later. Partly due to increased taxes but also a few health worries.
They were quite unsettled here for a while. They moved house 3 times ending up about 4 miles from us. By that time they were in their 80s. .
I realise now how unsettled they were. It took ages to adjust but they persevered and made new friends. They continued to visit France but gradually weaned themselves from that enjoying visits from their DC, DGC and DGGC and having local holidays..
Grandpa has died now and DMiL still soldiers on at 97 . I take her out every week and she is looked after at her home.
She is an amazingly strong woman so all that moving hasn't done her much harm

Joseanne

Brittany is very much the same pascal30. Lots of elderly Brits who bought large ish rural houses with big gardens they could never hope to afford in the UK. Now they want to sell up and return but can't shift their properties to French people.
I have a friend who is scared stiff about her DH having to go into a retirement home as he won't understand a thing they say .... just like the OP said was their main reason for leaving.

I do believe you misread the OP- I am sure both her and OH speak French very well, but did not feel confident with very specialised medical terms. A vast difference!

halfpint1

Well here goes, this is not a Brit bashing but a truth
My mother was placed in a Home by Social Services after
they decided her own first floor flat without a lift was unfit for her.
My Aunt rang me after a few weeks and told me to come and
get my mother as she constantly stank of urine and was unhappy (they were both in their 80's.)
I found a place for her near me in a residential home which was cheaper than the English one and on a much higher level
( anything was better than 2 terrace houses which had been knocked together) When I took my mother they said she would'nt last 3 months, she lived another 3 years
The language was never a problem the French carers were
brilliant at teaching her a few words and as she was quite
down the line with Dementia she never really realised where
she was.
Altogether I felt it had been the best move.

I have to say, halfpint1, that the care home where my mother spent very nearly the last 8 years of her life until she died at 97 (she had dementia) was excellent. It was a specialist dementia home not far from us in outer SW London and was by no means the most expensive we looked at.

I would guess that around half of the residents were local-authority, rather than self-funded - it wasn’t an exclusively private care home - and all the residents had exactly the same type of en suite rooms.

I read it fine Fleurpepper thanks, but I tried to relate it to the OP's circumstances. When we were 30, 40 or even 50, living abroad, health issues never even crossed our minds, (luckily we hardly ever needed to see a doctor). Roll on into your near 80s which the OPs are I can imagine feeling far less comfortable, confident and even perhaps scared to be abroad facing ill health and having to discuss specialist medical terms in a foreign tongue.

halfpint1

There are some good care homes in the UK with caring staff.
I know. My relative is in one. She smelt just fine last time I saw her.

I found a place for her near me in a residential home
Residential homes do not generally take dementia patients in the UK as people with dementia need a higher level of care.
It's best to investigate several places before choosing one, rather than leave it to Social Services. Our family found that more than once.

Probably it was better that your mother was nearer to you, too, if you are in France, rather than left without family here in the UK for your own peace of mind.

Brittany is very much the same pascal30. Lots of elderly Brits who bought large ish rural houses with big gardens they could never hope to afford in the UK. Now they want to sell up and return but can't shift their properties to French people.

A perceptive observation Josanne.

It’s the same here in southern Spain. “Brits abroad” buy a spacious dwelling ‘up in the campo’. More space for your money. However. All is fine until they age, when the huge garden becomes too much, the car journeys down the dirt roads get too arduous and tricky to get to the supermacado and the farmacie.

A young waiter said to us a couple of days ago “that life (for the Spanish) does not appeal to the young any more. My parents kept goats up there, bees and grew vegetables. Not a life for me or my friends. We have the internet now, good transport. Our wishes are different”.

Ex pats are fine ‘up there’ with their beautiful view.
Until they aren’t.
And sadly the market has shrunk. The young do not want to buy a finca and ‘look down’ at the Mediterranean. They want to BE in the towns and cities. Where there are tapas bars, cinemas and busyness. The internet and social media has played a great part in this perception.

Joseanne

I read it fine Fleurpepper thanks, but I tried to relate it to the OP's circumstances. When we were 30, 40 or even 50, living abroad, health issues never even crossed our minds, (luckily we hardly ever needed to see a doctor). Roll on into your near 80s which the OPs are I can imagine feeling far less comfortable, confident and even perhaps scared to be abroad facing ill health and having to discuss specialist medical terms in a foreign tongue.

Joseanne, but very different to this (your words)

''I have a friend who is scared stiff about her DH having to go into a retirement home as he won't understand a thing they say'

which I am quite sure is not the case for CountessF.

Urmatongran
Also employment is usually located in urban areas, not rural ones

True Hithere another good point.

Re care homes abroad, if people have dementia and the local language is not their mother tongue, it’s not at all unknown for people to lose the knowledge of their 2nd language, even if they’d been reasonably fluent.

The memory has been likened to a stack of bookshelves. As dementia progresses, memories are gradually (or fairly quickly, according to how the disease progresses) swept away, starting with the ‘top shelf’, i.e. the newest. And that includes the memory’s language skills.

I’ve heard of this happening with elderly Asian people in the U.K., who had forgotten their formerly very good, or perfectly adequate English, and could understand only their mother tongue.

Yes, it happened to my MIL, who had lived in the UK for over 50 years, and she reverted back to Afrikaans in advanced Alzeimers. But this is not what we are talking about here with CountessF and OH, I am quite sure.

It is very possible to be very confident in a language on everyday basis, but not be sure in a very specialised environment (like a hospital, with specialists).

And of course, in care homes, many carers have very strong non British accents, which can be confusing for advanced dementia/A patients. Again, not the story here, I am quite sure.

It’s true about second languages, dementia can make language disappear however fluent, even after more than 60 years in a country. Makes communication very hard. Happened to my dear mum.

@Fleurpepper are you implying that care assistants from other ethnic backgrounds are somehow inferior?
You are on very shaky ground.