how can I bring him back

Have you tried reading to him? Or listening to Audio books/music together ?

I suspect that it’s the way the illness progresses.

I am sorry that you are going through this and I’m sure some GN’rs will have more experience than me and will be able to help.

Hello, Canarygirl, I am so sorry that you and your DH are going through this. My dear Mum, lovely Godmother, and dear M I L, all suffered from dementia in later life, I know how hard it is to keep connected with your loved one when they are slipping away day by day.

With my mum, what helped her stay engaged with us for a while was being prescribed Aricept by her memory clinic. It seemed to keep her more alert for a while, although the consultant explained to us that eventually the condition would ' take over'.

When that happened and she didn't communicate much, or use our names any more, we continued to sing and dance with her, massaged her face and hands with lovely creams, played music that she and my Dad had enjoyed- Johnny Cash!- hoping it gave her some small pleasures.

My daughter in law brought my young grandchildren to visit her, and she smiled when my wee granddaughter was placed in her lap, although she had no idea who she was...sometimes people with advanced dementia can respond well to children, and to pets...

I hope you can find some ways to continue to feel connected with your DH for as long as possible, and I wish you health and strength for the road ahead.??

Have you talked to your Dh's gp? There is a good forum on the Alzheimer's Society website. It's called Talking Point. Lots of people find it helpful.

www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/dementia-talking-point-our-online-community

A link to Talking point.

I went through this with my lovely hubby Canarygirl1.

He did not know me for the last 18 months of his life but I used to have a couple of hours with him seated at the computer each day and putting u-tubes up of his big bands.
It was lovely to see him tapping his fingers to the music and his face used to light up because he could see and hear his favourite music from the past.
He died in 2016 in our 67th year of marriage.

Maywalk, ??

I’ve just lost one of my oldest and dearest friends: she had Alzheimer’s. I don’t know what to advise but I’m so sorry

I was going to suggest the same as Maywalk - playing music, singing old songs he knew. Sometimes people with dementia will remember all the words of songs which they enjoyed.

Do you have any day centres near you where your DH could go perhaps once a week?
Do enquire about respite care too, you may find that you need a break occasionally.

It is very hard for the carer
Canarygirl and Maywalk

Music is a wonderful way of bringing back people living with dementia. Hope this link helps
www.homecare.co.uk/advice/using-music-therapy-for-dementia-at-home

Oh Canarygirl I am so very sorry to read this and my heart goes out to you.
He may indeed be withdrawing into himself but not of his own choosing. It’s the disease I am sure, it must be terrifying for you both.
But have you thought he will still feel reassured by and enjoy your presence? He may not respond, but if you were to sit by him just stroking his hand or holding it, or stroking his cheek that would show him how you love and care for him. You could play some music or just chat gently without expecting any response.
I wish I could still tuck myself up beside Paw and tell him I loved him - this is an ongoing bereavement for you, but treasure what moments you can.

Sympathies, OP - I do know how very hard it is.

Ditto to old songs. My mother’s (dementia only) care home had a bingo type game where they played short sections of very well known old songs, hymns or carols, for them to recognise and put counters on big cards. ‘Daisy, Daisy’, and ‘All Things Bright and Beautiful’ are two that come to mind. Most of them needed help to read the titles but they’d usually know the songs, since old memories are the last to be lost.

They also held regular singalong sessions - again very well known old tunes.

There is no doubt that people suffering from this evil disease gain a lot of pleasure from music.
I’m amazed when I see my friends mother. She is at the stage where she knows no one. But when she has her earphones on listing to her favourite songs she’s word perfect ?

Canarygirl. ? for you and your lovely name, and your DH.

There was evidence that showed that "work' type activity is good for people with dementia.

Folding T towels, and other really simple things, in some cases.

There are stores that sell games and cards tailored especially to stimulate people with dementia, so it may be worth checking out what they have.

I am sorry not to have given a speedy thanks, there was a small crisis but sorted now. I wish he could go to a centre but his stroke left him with severe balance problems so he is house bound as being in a car makes him violently sick.
I do sit with him and rub his back gently as that seems to help, will try music, just so sad that a lovely strong gentle man is being reduced to a shadow of himself.
many thaanks for all your suggestions

Canarygirl don’t forget to look after yourself too. Dementia is especially hard on all concerned.

Music did not work with my mum, she had never been interested in singing or listening to the radio, she preferred to read and do crosswords. However she was a great fan of football, had a season ticket for Manchester City for over 60 years, so she used to enjoy watching DVDs of their matches. She would sit in her room at the care home wearing a City scarf and cheer loudly or swear, depending on the action! She would sing some of the football chants and loved to argue with the care staff if they were MUFC supporters!

Canarygirl, hope music helps . I am sad you are in this situation , like many others I nursed my lovely Mum through dementia although eventually she had to leave our home and move into a nursing home. It is most important that you take care of your physical and emotional health. It must be especially hard nursing your husband and the thought that he is slipping away from you must be devastating. Please take care , have respite breaks if that is possible - vital to recharge your batteries! Speak to your GP if you feel overwhelmed, try and keep doing those things that make you feel better - a walk , seeing a friend for coffee, visit to your hairdresser and please don't forget dental check ups - I did !!! I do hope you have support that enables you to do those things. If you need more support talk to your GP and don't underplay the situation, don't put on a brave face! ' shout 'long and hard . I applaud you and send hugs , caring for someone with dementia is a very very difficult job indeed. These are for you ??

She would sit in her room at the care home wearing a City scarf and cheer loudly or swear, depending on the action! She would sing some of the football chants and loved to argue with the care staff if they were MUFC supporters!

I just love this image, it's priceless ?