Very unorthodox funeral the other day

I would like a green burial, but I am not going to dictate how it is done. My family can decide. I would like to think there will be a short prayer. As a singer I would love a choir to sing, but I can’t see that happening.
We have always wanted a quiet family burial for DH, followed by a service of thanksgiving, maybe at a later date. DH was well known in a number of spheres, but time passes and people move on, so we shall have to decide when the time comes.

Non religious services are becoming much more common and many people find them more comforting that a more formal and impersonal service.

We had a humanist funeral for mum last month and it was lovely. Although held in a traditional chapel at the crematorium, we had no hymns or prayers. My siblings and I had spent three hours chatting to the celebrant about mum and discussing the order of service, music etc. Then the celebrant and everyone planning to speak exchanged their speeches to avoid boring everyone with the same recollections!

All her four children spoke about every different aspects of mums life then my daughter read out a collection of short memories from all her grandchildren. Her coffin was carried in by my brother, brother in law, my son and my daughter and had two Manchester City scarves on top. The music played at the beginning was an orchestral version of Blue Moon, the City anthem which was also played at my dads funeral. My mum had been a very keen cyclist and travelled around the world with her bike so our choice of music in the middle was very apt and raised a laugh - Katie Melua Nine Billion Bicycles in Beijing !

I conducted my husband’s funeral service myself, just a small family cremation then I accompanied the coffin and watched it start to burn.
Now I have decided that for myself it will be a direct cremation with nobody present. They can do what they wish with the ashes. My children both live abroad and this means they don’t have to return at a time that is inconvenient to them. Death shouldn’t cause additional stress on family.

told memories, not old memories

I like the sound of that. 'Traditional' funerals are slowly becoming less common these days - and that's a good thing. People should be able to have the kind of funeral they want and which suits their lifestyle and personality.

I remember our friend's funeral years ago; although it was in a a small Church of Scotland chapel and there was a padre there, his family and friends just got up and read tributes and old memories of him. No prayers or hymns.
No nibbles either but we did have those later.

That funeral sounds very interesting, Witzend. A lovely way to remember people.

More and more people are opting for secular or DIY funerals. I have generally found them more personal and meaningful.
If the deceased person was not religious it seems odd to me to engage a priest to talk about the after life, with a couple of hymns. I went to a funeral where the vicar even got the dead person’s name wrong!
It’s possible to engage a non religious or humanist celebrant to take the funeral if the family want.

That sounds like how Quakers do it.
It also sounds lovely.
It was my Nan’s funeral last year, and I absolutely hate to say it, but it was awful.
I wish that we had done something like that instead

We had a non religious funeral for my mum at the crematorium. Just 7 of us. Played Enya, read things, recalled events, had a cry, said goodbye, it was so gentle and final, I've asked my kids to do the same for me

Sounds good to me.

That sounds really personal and a good opportunity to talk easily about happy memories. Very kind of the crem staff too.

I like the sound of that Witzend.