Silly Songs

Sausage in a pan
Sausage in a pan
whizz bang whizz bang
sausage in a pan.
Jelly on a plate
jelly on a plate
wibble wobble wibble wobble
jelly on a plate.

...At least it's clean. You naughty girls!

Fatty and skinny were in the bath.
Fatty blew off, and made skinny laugh.

Little rude, it's about anatomy

Milk, milk,
Lemonade,
Around the corner raspberry ade,
Up the ladder through the hole,
There you'll find a chocolate roll

When we were kids we would ask someone -
Adam and Eve and Pinch Me
Went down to the river to fish
Adam and Eve fell in. Who do you think was left?
If they were daft enough to say 'Pinch Me', you did.

My GC stand on my poor old knees and sing the Popeye Sailor Man song MrsKen33; when they get to the bit where he "opened the door and FELL ON THE FLOOR" they fall through my knees in a heap on the ground! I'm hoping the 9 year old doesn't want to do it for much longer!

5...4...3...2...1
Grandad got a gun.
Shot my granny up the fanny, 5,4,3,2,1...

Oh, Mother dear, pray, what is that? It looks like strawberry jam.
Oh no, my dear, it is your Pa - run over by a tram.

!!!

I’ve obviously led an EXTREMELY sheltered life, because I don’t know any of these. W

MissAdventure

Billy was a sheepdog, sitting on the grass, along came a bumble bee and stung him up the........ ask no questions, tell no lies... (Can't remember any more)

Ever seen a policeman doing up his flies, flies are nuisance bugs are worse this is the end of my little verse ?

I know loads of these wee songs. I don't know where I learnt them - seems I've known them forever.

AH'm no the Factor or the Gas Man
Napoleon or Ronald Colman
When you hear me rattle tattle at the Door
Have ye money in the Bank or money in the Store?
Ye'd better watch oot or else ah'll get ye
Jist try tae dodge me if ye can for
AH'm neither Santy Clause nor Douglas Fairbanks
AH am the Means Test Man.

Wan twa three a-leery
AH saw Wallace Beery
Sittin oan his bumbaleerie
Kissin Shirley Temple

Brother Bill was a Fireman Bold
He pit oot fires
Twas only twenty four years old
He pit oot fires
He went to fight a fire one night
Somebody shouted Dynamite
Wherever he's noo, he'll be aw right
HE PITS OOT FIRES

We thought this was daring as policemen terrified us -
1,2,3 Johnny caught a flea
He put it in the teapot and made a cup of tea
The flea jumped out and John began to shout
'Here comes a copper with his shirt hanging out'

This is another rude one
Yum yum chewing gum
Stick it up your mother’s bum
When it’s brown
Pull it down
Yum yum chewing gum.
Pretty sick when you think about it but we all knew it, London postwar 1950s

One more day of school
One more day of sorrow
One more day in this old dump
And we'll be home tomorrow.
No more English, no more French
No more sitting on the old school bench.
If the teacher interferes
Blow her up or box her ears,
If that does not do the trick
Dynamite will make her sick.

This was sung on the last day of term by my son and his classmates in primary school. He must have been about 6 or 7.

Your grandma and my grandma
Sitting by the fire
Your grandma told my grandma
Sh’d set her pants on fire.

At primary school we used to sing this to the tune of Out of Town by Max Bygraves:

Say what you will, school dinners make you ill
And Davey Crockett died of shepherds pie
And school din dins come from pig bins
Out of town

Out there the sun is a big lump of custard
polishing the blue, blue sky
With light fluffy potatoes in a cluster
Hanging on the breeze to dry

I think there was more.....

After a loud burp we would say:

Pardon me for being so rude
It was not me it was my food
If it had gone near my heart
Then it would have made me f*

Nell8 my dad used say that rhyme!

Latin is a language
As dead as dead can be
It killed the flippin' Romans
And now it's killing me

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a bear
I've often seen her little lamb
I'd like to see her bear

Mary had a little lamb
it had a sooty foot
And into Mary's bread and jam
His sooty foot he put

OH had a stream of them , I had to put on a disapproving face , to get the kids to scream with laughter
There was an old lady fragment France
Went to an American dance
She ate a banana and music came out of her pants !

That’s the mildest one , there’s one about a train I can’t remember it all !

Mary had a metal cow
She milked it with a spanner.
The milk came out in shilling tins
And little ones a tanner.

Completely outmoded now with decimalisation!

Land of soap and water
Mother wash my feet
Father cut my toe nails
Til they're nice and neat.

Kate1949

We thought this was daring as policemen terrified us -
1,2,3 Johnny caught a flea
He put it in the teapot and made a cup of tea
The flea jumped out and John began to shout
'Here comes a copper with his shirt hanging out'

Oh, I do remember one.

Good King Wenslas
Knocked a bobby senseless
Right in the middle of Marks and Spencer’s.

Watchdog in the night
I never chained you
I’ve always trained you to protect my house all the night through
When those burglars came you didn’t mind it
They were after loot
You helped them find it
Etc etc Apologies to Mad Magazine and Frank Sinatra