Father’s Day and adult children

My son is in currently in either America or the Philippines- I confess to telling him when Father's day is coming up. He may know already. I don't ask.

The other 4 remember with a card and usually a plant or a whisky or something. We know it's made-up.

Father's Day Card posted , first class to OH on Thursday . Arrived today 18th.

Sarahr - do what I do - remind them. They know me better than that - I get really, really cross if I haven’t received a card. I’m not bothered about presents - I just love receiving Cards .

Sarahr

I was very touched that 2 of my D’s wanted to come from Birmingham and London on Monday to put flowers on their fathers grave. The third had clients she could not reschedule but I know she would have been thinking of him.
DH made nothing of Fathers Day, he thought it a made up commercial nonsense, but as a widow the day now has a certain poignancy for me.

I always reminded my DD's. I shouldn't have had to because as an adult everyone should be able to do simple things like send a card or even just make a phone call. However, in this day and age of social media it appears to be more important to be messaging friends about what they have just eaten and posting pictures of themselves pulling silly faces than to have a thought for parents. So far this year I have sent Birthday and Easter cards & gifts to DD's. I received zero cards, phone calls, messages on Mothering Sunday, my Birthday and Easter. Yes it hurts.

As it is important to your husband, I think you are quite right to remind your adult sons to remember Father's day and that you should go on doing so.

It would be different if it meant nothing to your husband.

3 of our 4 AC’s remembered Father’s Day even though the DS were in Dublin for youngest son stag do. My DD bought her dad a box of James Bond film inspired chocolate bars and the DS bought him large Toblerones and our youngest DGD gave him a teddy with a papa bear tag because that’s what they call him.

joannapiano

Hear, hear Oldbat1. I always feel that Mother’s/ Father’s Day are forms of emotional blackmail.

Yes! This!

I thought I’d seen this before and looking at the date it’s a repeat… don’t need to remind son of the date due to him having 2 children… but this year I did get cross though when not even a card… or phone call… so sent WhatsApp message to him and DiL… asking her to tell him to read his message… he popped up around 8.30….with a card and pressie… it hurts me more than my very laid back hubby.

I messaged my son to say happy father's day as he's a dad himself. He phoned later and had been unaware it was father's day. He forgot mother's day this year too but did remember on the day and called me. He'd had to make a last minute trip to get something for his wife on behalf of his small children.

Felt a bit down on Sunday to be honest. My beloved Dad died some years ago, but the first anniversary of the death of my ( ex.. but much loved ) father in law is coming up soon so this is the first time in my life I havent had a 'Father' to send a card to.
Ridiculous how much that upset me!

I have two sons near and distant and they both make an effort. Distant one sends an email message full of quirky memories and as he has Parkinson's it is much appreciated as typing is difficult
The nearby one always makes a point of calling in for a cup of tea and catch-up.
They both always remember Mothering Sunday and I get lovely cards.
I am so lucky.

All of our adult children remember Father’s Day & Mothers Day

What is now mother's dayoriginated as mothering Sunday when servants working away from their villages went back for a church service and would have seen their relatives. Would have applied to M and F but there would have been, probably more women than men involved.

personally I do not care about mothers day and my husband does not care about fathers day. if the kids remember great, if they dont it is no big deal. I would think however that having to constantly remind them to send a card or a gift negates the sentiment behind the occasion. If they cannot be bothered to remember then why keep forcing them.

I still remember the year when my (now ex) husband got really upset with my daughter for not getting him anything for Father's day. At the time she was a 6th former who needed some school books which he'd ordered from Amazon but refused to give them to her until he had a card from her! We had gone out for lunch on the day and they had an argument about it in the pub which culminated in her going home and making a card for him which had a very sarcastic (almost rude) sentiment. I found the whole situation hilarious since we were in the process of separating and I could not believe he would hold her essential books to ransom over a Father's day card!
Both my DD and DS are pretty good at remembering occasions for me but as someone else said 'It's the relationship that's important not the cards and gifts.' I'd much rather spend time with them than have stuff!

I never had to do Father's day. My father died when I was only little, long before FDay had been invented. And I didn't regard my step father in the same light even when the card companies had got on to the idea. It was 1972 when it began, I was grown up and away from home then anyway

Fathers Day was a sad affair for us this year, the first one without DH. I lost my own dad 45 years ago at a young age so it’s always been tinged with sadness for me. My AC took flowers to the cemetery & posted sone lovely photos & videos on the family group.

I do think Mothers Day/Fathers Day have got too commercialised, we used to make a card at school for Mother’s Day & maybe pick some flowers out of the garden or buy a small box of weekend for our mum. Now they’re pushing jewellery, expensive perfume, spa breaks and all kinds of things. Not what it’s about. Invite your parent round for Sunday lunch or tea on the day, just spend some time together, that’s more important than gifts, you can’t get time back.

They always remember to send/deliver a card and either see us on the day or near to. (We don't do presents.) I'd be disappointed in them if they 'forgot'. There's no way adults can forget with all the publicity about Mothers Day/Fathers Day, and if we didn't get a card (or at least a very abject apology and a call on the day) I'd feel that they couldn't be bothered to put themselves out a little and 'mark the day'. It's like...people who don't say thank you for presents. Things like that do matter.

DH really doesn't do father's day. He says it's made up and thinks cards are a waste of money for grown ups. He does think Mothering Sunday is important so always organised the DC before they were old enough to do it themselves. He still reminds our single sons not to forget the day. The older ones always remember birthdays etc. Maybe because they are parents themselves now.

Our single sons all forgot on Sunday. I did remind the one still living at home just to say the words happy Father's Day but I don't think he did. He was late getting up. He showered and went down the cricket club for a brunch fry up before heading off for an away match. We were in bed before he got home. His brother did ring up on Monday and say he would take us out for a meal sometime.

Mothers Day has been around a long time, the British one , anyway. It is based on Mothering Sunday
which began as an explicitly religious event of the 16th Century, with no connection to mothers at all. The word "mothering" referred to the "mother church", which is to say the main church or cathedral of the region. It became a tradition that, on the fourth Sunday of Lent, people would return to their mother church for a special service. This pilgrimage was apparently known as "going a-mothering", and became something of a holiday event, with domestic servants traditionally given the day off to visit their own families as well as their mother church.
yesterday.uktv.co.uk/blogs/article/mothering-sunday/

It was certainly celebrated with Mothers Day cards in the early 1950s because I can remember making a Mothers Day card at school.

Hear, hear Oldbat1. I always feel that Mother’s/ Father’s Day are forms of emotional blackmail.

Well said

Not fussy about mother’s day or Father’s Day. I have no memory of such days growing up - it is a relatively “new” idea ie within the last 60years? I don’t want presents for birthdays or at Christmas either but appreciate a card. We are all different thank goodness.