People who give you chapter and verse about people you don't know ow

Now I come to.think of it I.have a friend who is the same. We trade stories, it's like knowing the other people.

I do it, I know I am doing it sometimes and then stop. My mother did it constantly, it was very boring to say the least.

A very good topic Vintagejazz I thought it was to do with me . A good friend whom I’m on hols with at the moment carries on and on about her best friend I don’t even know ! I timed her and she talked for 1/2 an hour continuously . But not nasty talking just telling me the whole life of her best friend What is the answer ?

You are quite right, loneliness or not having as much to do or think about since retirement can be the reason, and I admire all of you who just nod and look interested.

I tend to say to these people that I do not know the person they are talking about, so I am afraid I cannot comment in any useful way, then change the subject.

If they don't take the hint and talk about something we both can be interested in, I tend to discontinue the acquaintanceship. It is hardly a friendship if you have nothing in common and have to listen to what amounts to gossip.

I get the lowdown on the budgies and goldfish.
"Come on you fish" I said, "and they all looked at me and went..." (mimic fish faces)
"And they all swam up, because they know its dinnertime"
"I threw in 2 pinches of food, and (insert westham players name) pushed the others out the way"
"Oi! I said, and he looked at me, because he knows what I'm saying"
"Oi! Greedy guts, leave some for (insert other westham players name"
"And he looked to me as if to say "Who do you think you're talking to, so I said yeah, you know don't you?"
And he goes (open and close mouth like a fish".....

I have a dear friend but she drives me mad when after phoning and giving me all her news, when we meet will repeat it. If I say ‘You’ve already told me that’, she will pause and then carry on!

I agree 123kitty people who monopolise the conversation may well be lonely. I usually bear with them for the first couple of times after that I cut the conversation short. I do try to include others in the group who don't want to interrupt a monologue then feel like I'm leading a therapy group. I really get bored when the phone comes out and we are treated to endless pictures of grandchildren, I'm just not into unknown babies/children. Now if it's a dog that's a whole other story

BeverlyRose

It all depends on whether you care enough to be honest with her and teach her the social ropes of your group. Asking here or telling here is no good to her. You’re doing the same thing and this almost falls into the realm of gossip.

Oh don't be silly. I'm not going to start teaching a 60 +woman social roles. And starting an anonymous thread about a generic annoyance is not gossiping.

My Mum used to do that ' I saw Mrs So and So today' I'd say 'Don't know her?' Yes you do, her son was called x and her 2 daughters your sisters age called a and b. I gave up and said I knew everyone, problem was, when I moved back to care for her for 7 years (on and off) I found out I did know them :D

Kate1949 you're obviously kind and a very good listener, people like you get taken advantage of sadly.

My BFF is like this and goes on and on. Sometimes I do wonder what she tells people about me and some of what she says about others are quite personal details.
I'm cautious about what I tell her now about myself and family. She's a lovely kind person though

These 'boring' people are often rather lonely - look on spending your time listening to them as a kindly act. With age some of us will eventually be joining the 'boring' set,

I have a small group of friends that I go out with, Recently one of them brought a neighbour with her. I'm sure she was a very nice person, but when we stopped for lunch the whole conversation was monopolised by her life in minute detail! Most of us didn't know her or her friends and relations but we heard about them non stop till it was time to go home.

I’ve a friend who talks constantly and at length about many people I don’t know at all. It’s so boring. I’ve taken to butting in as otherwise I never get to talk at all. We meet just for an hour, most times that’s enough.
She doesn’t seem aware

I have a friend who has so many cousins, she tells us about all of them, but no one has ever met them also it gets so boring, and she expects us all to listen with interest.

Kate1949

I use Mrs Brown's phrase 'Thats nice'

Me too Kate 1949............and I also know what Mrs Brown means when she says it!

“She especially loves hogging the lime light in group discussions which can be so frustrating, partly it seems as she finds it hard to hear what others are saying.“

My late MIL did this - by dominating the conversation she knew what was being said. Took us a long while to realise though!

Kalu

Can’t say I have noticed this in you Marydoll as we are as bad as each other talking non stop?

My late MiL was famous for this however, it was only ever about people of ‘standing’, in her mind. I always found excuses to attend to something I must do or even, go hide in the loo for a breather.

Kalu, ?
Are you feeling any better?

I have a MeMeMe friend, very fond of her, but so wrapped up in herself. As I’m quite a lot older, I think she sees me as someone to offload to with all her problems and a good listener. However I would quite like to have a say myself! A good conversation should be like a game of tennis, two way.
I made the mistake initially of going on holiday for ten days with her and could only do what she wanted until I put my foot down.
And the many people who never ask you about yourself as you listen to them going on and on! So ignorant.
Makes the saying “The more I see of people, the more I like my dogs” understandable.

I had friends who did this, but also kind of included their first names as if they were besties when they barely knew each other. If only they'd read my face and realise, I'm not interested at all in people I don't know!

The other thing that people do is....
you meet a couple whilst shopping or out and about.

One of them is telling you about an incident, but the other one keeps correcting them about the finer points.

' We popped to the library on Tuesday'......' no it was Wednesday because we went to the market as well, the market is on Wednesdays'...... ( does it matter which day, get on with it)

' The Grandchildren stayed on Friday night'....' no ( in a patronising tone ) it was Saturday, you are getting your days mixed up again'........implying dementia is setting in fast.
People !

It all depends on whether you care enough to be honest with her and teach her the social ropes of your group. Asking here or telling here is no good to her. You’re doing the same thing and this almost falls into the realm of gossip.

OMG yes, I do try a few, Sorry, who is this person....ah, never met her, don' t know her..and try to steer conversation onto other subjects, like Anyway, so how are YOU ...". Sometimes I think them talking aboit other people means they don' t divulge anything about themselves ....

Can’t say I have noticed this in you Marydoll as we are as bad as each other talking non stop?

My late MiL was famous for this however, it was only ever about people of ‘standing’, in her mind. I always found excuses to attend to something I must do or even, go hide in the loo for a breather.

Oh. and Daisydaisydaisy…I have a friend who is all about ‘me me me’. I got so fed up of her phone calls being all about her that when she called me the other day and opened with her usual “how are you?” …which by the way is irrelevant to her …..I replied “ oh I broke both my legs yesterday” …..her reply “oh dear” then it went straight back to her problems!!! She’s not mentioned my broken legs ( not real)….so next time she calls I’m gonna add two broken arms and see if she responds to that!!!!

My father is in hospital yet again and I thought that it would be nice to meet up with a friend for quick lunch whilst having a mad shop for him .
After thirty minutes ,my head was splitting .
She's obsessed with the exploits of her distant relatives .
I've heard the same stories in person, on the phone and by text for over three years .
Now illustrated with photographs.
She hardly acknowledged the distress I've had over my father.