Things!

I feel the same - I have nowhere to put more ‘stuff’, I’m on a constant decluttering campaign as it is. I try to keep a list of things I need, and suggest those as presents if I’m asked. I remember my husband’s granny asking us for paper doilies one Christmas, looking back, I think she must have been doing the same thing!

For Birthdays we try to do things now instead of buying gifts. Theatre or shopping trips, meals out, days out etc. We create memories instead of gathering ‘stuff’. As a family we ask each other for suggestions for Christmas gifts, and have done so for years. It’s nice to exchange gifts at Christmas when we are all together and we always get something that we want.

A nephew who has little money keeps giving me unwanted gifts. I am also trying to declutter and to date he has not given me anything I would use. The charity shop benefits but I would prefer it if he did not buy me anything.

If friends and family take no notice when we ask them not to give us "things" - then there is only one thing to do. Pass the unwanted gifts on to a charity shop.

Problem solved.

As we get older, most of us already have more than we need (if we're lucky) and what we most miss is time with loved ones. I find it's important to suggest something when they mention a birthday, anniversay, etc. So, rather than "don't get me anything" maybe say "how about taking me to lunch at ..." One of the nicest experiences I had for my birthday last year was being taken out for lunch to a rather nice garden centre, which was rounded off with a lovely plant that I'd admired whilst there (which is now planted in my garden and, when it flowers, will remind me of that lovely day) And a couple of hours of pleasant conversation and company. Definitely suggest some ideas (on a wide price range in case money is an issue for them).

I'm still dealing with the remains of both of my parents gifts!
For both their Ruby Anniversary and Golden Anniversary they requested donations be made to a hospital in Leeds that had treated my niece when she needed to have a blood clot removed from her brain after an accident when she was a baby, and for the Golden, it was donations for the Royal Brompton hospital, where her twin had been treated for a hole in his heart.
Despite that, relatives still gave them gifts as they didn't feel they could come to the party empty handed!
I have finally decided, after asking my brothers and sister to take a momento after my parents died, that it is long past time to donate the remaining items to a charity shop!

I enjoy the bits and pieces I have accumulated over the years but am non too anxious to be gifted random ‘stuff’ no matter how kind the thought! My children usually ask me for ideas, which is lovely of them. I often ask for a favourite perfume ( if they can find it at a reasonable price!) or a some make up I would like to try/am running out of (more for my daughters, that one!). Another is books. I have for many years been a keen reader of Russian history ( dodgy at this present time,I know) and there are always lots of books I would like to read on this subject which I find endlessly fascinating. Some are difficult to get/expensive but second hand is fine by me. I was very touched some years ago when my son managed to find a book I longed to read in America and had it shipped over for me, the cost of which was dearer than the book itself!

As a family, we gave up on giving "stuff" to each other a long time ago - the only exception being young children. We celebrate birthdays, Christmas etc with theatre tickets, restaurant vouchers, spa days or experience days out as a family. DS is 40 this year and we've all clubbed together to send him and DIL away on holiday for a few days on their own. Cuts down on the wrapping paper and landfill and the memories last longer!

I think most people when they get to our age (or even younger) have accumulated too much ‘stuff’. Even I have and I hate to be surrounded by clutter so I’m definitely more of a minimalist.

Even though my ‘stuff’ is in drawers and cupboards, it still bothers me as I know it’s there!

I'm drowning under "stuff" too and when I remembered that Mother's Day was approaching I asked my daughters not to buy me anything but to donate money to the Ukranian appeal instead. This they did but also treated me to a subscription of my favourite magazine which I think is a great present. I like the idea too of being treated to a meal and having some "girly" time with my daughters. Having their time and company is far the best present I could wish for.

Definitely can relate. I have dropped in conversation to son more than a few times that husband and I would love vouchers or "tickets" such as lunch with him and the family or the movies. We are getting close to having declutterred and I would love time with my family.
However presents are still bought
Similar to many others we can buy tangibles ourselves

My granddaughter loves to be taken to Claires to buy rubbish. Her mum sighs and says "please no more c**p". If you have children the amount of silly bits they collect are off the scale. To the OP, I would accept the gifts then quietly donate to a charity shop. That way they'll do some good.

Be firmer. Really insist that people don't buy you presents. The message clearly isn't getting through at the moment.

Tell them you'll just chuck stuff out. That'll stop them.

In short, really MEAN what you say so that they take it in. Good luck.

We have agreed with my 87 year old MIL that we will take her for dinner instead of buying her more stuff.

I would happily stop buying for and receiving presents from adult members of our family and friends. I have tried to suggest this but feel like it makes me sound mean.

I think it depends on the person. My SIL likes to get lots of small presents to open. I gave her a M&S voucher one year and she looked quite disappointed.

I only really buy a birthday present for one friend now as she always buys me something. Mind you, she always buys me a variation on one thing and it is something that I neither need nor use. I haven't the heart to tell her. It's the thought that counts I suppose.

Yes, I've got too many 'things'. But many were given to me by people I love, so it's difficult to ditch them.
One of my sons asked me what I wanted for Mother's Day and I said "cake". So he bought me a lovely carrot cake and it's a real treat as I normally never eat cake.

Crazy H. So that’s what my daughter and I did today - had a nice lunch on the front, after which we sat on the benches and watched the glistening blue sea. It was truly magical …

My idea of heaven, simple, beautiful, and such a great memory

I give intangible gifts normally, e.g. riding lessons or virtual reality tickets for the grandchildren, National Trust or Historic Scotland membership for adults. Then consumables such as a lovely variety of cheeses, wine, special coffee, honey etc.

I feel the same. You get to an age where there's just nothing you need...or if you do need something you go and buy it. I'm also conscious that there are so many people in need and here we are with all this excess and environmentally it's a nightmare. Last Christmas made me feel very uncomfortable with the oodles of 'things'.

I've already spoken with some people about making charity donations instead next year, but there are some family and friends who I know won't take to this. Difficult to know how to resolve that.

Maybe you just have to say it more firmly. I’ve told everyone I really don’t want any more ‘stuff’ - I’m trying to get rid of things.

Siblings are the same. Presents all round are ‘consumables’ only now, whether that’s a box of fudge, a bottle of gin, or smoked salmon by post.

We have always kept our gift giving circle very small. Immediate family and no one else. Mostly now for birthdays we get given experiences and at Christmas, we produce wish lists.

We have agreed to limit their spending on us to £5.00 for each occasion and that includes the card and postage .
I said that I would be cross if they spent more as we don’t need anything, they have no money and I definitely don’t want anything that I have to dust.
I got cards and flower seeds from MissOops and a card and Maltesers from MzOops.
Just what I wanted!

Maybe you could ask for time instead?

Being taken for a meal or a day out?

Memories are always more precious for the giver and the receiver

I have told my children, I didnt want gifts. I’d rather go for out for a meal with them. So that’s what my daughter and I did today - had a nice lunch on the front, after which we sat on the benches and watched the glistening blue sea. It was truly magical …

I’m the same, I cant eat chocolate and keep getting it. I give up, I just give it away.

We tend to get experiences or restaurant vouchers now which we really appreciate. We love making new memories.