Making new friends

I went to my local park today, sat watching the ducks and swans, and struck up a conversation with a lady. We swapped Facebook details; she lives on the other side of town. I need to overcome this lack of confidence (that I seem to have had since being ill last year)

Well done ...that's a good start!

Volunteering and becoming part of a group with a common purpose/aim can be a good way to make new friends. And then, suggesting a coffee when you have started to get to know someone a bit and feel there is a potential deeper friendship developing. Then take it from there

Why was your dog a problem and what’s happened to him? Why can’t you get work at 63?

I feel so lonely kids grown husband dont speak in own room need to get away dog was problem went every where together , he gone now.I am scared of cost of split at moment if I had friends would help greatly not look moved here house still needs work also I cant get work 63 so down ?????

Walking a dog seems to be an excellent way of meeting and chatting with people.
But certainly joining the local U3A is good (Ours has over 100 groups, so there must be something for almost everyone).
Churches and their offshoot groups, (Knit and Natter, Friendship Club, Ramblers, Theatre Groups, Choirs, Music Groups, etc) can help, as will volunteering, fund raising for a charity, local cat, dog, or animal refuge.
Lots of possibilities. Don't be put off if some are less than welcoming. Just ignore them and go elsewhere.

Strangers are merely friends that you have not yet met.

I met one of my closest friends through a walking group. No one else turned up so we did our own thing. Sometimes you meet people that you just click with, but you have to put yourself out there. Sounds like you are making a good start.

My husband was of a friend of a relation of mine we were just friends years ago. We met up again in our forties and married so we have known each other a long time.
My husband is rather more reserved than me. I have always been more outgoing and forward than him. We both have mutual friends we have known since youth and in our twenties.
Since retirement my husband has changed and has come out of his shell somewhat it’s nice to see. Walking the dog and volunteering has given him the opportunity to branch out. He has made new acquaintances and some have become friends who he values. Before he retired he kept himself to a routine and work came first apart from seeing our mutual friends.
You have to get out there join clubs even walking clubs etc. We have a local ranger group helping with maintenance in the local woods and litter picking. There are non vocational courses at local schools floristry or basic computer courses and the likes. Community halls are now opening up again ours have lots of things going on again. Volunteer there are lots of opportunities now choose something that is within your physical limitations and enjoy.

The most obvious thing to do is join one of the many groups which will be available in you area.
I find though within these groups you'll find acquaintances rather than friends. Close friends are something different, they may start off as acquaintances and develop into a strong friendship, someone who you can talk about anything with and a person who you could rely on for support.
Sort out the interests you have and find a group, best of luck.

Our local church has a natter group - you do not have to be a church goer to join in, all are welcomed, and religion is not discussed. Perhaps a church local to you runs something similar.

I'm near Nottingham and have found friends with my hobby of sewing, being in a patchwork group which is in limbo at the moment. I've also started going to a handicrafts group on Wednesday afternoons which gets me out of the house.

Do you have a similar hobby? It can help to have an interest in things like that as it gives you a starting point for something to talk about.

Gotanewlife20 Well done on finding a new life for yourself.

I am a 73 year old man widowed after a 48year marriage.I was left alone in a 4 bedroom house in a small market town where everything we did was done as a couple.I sold up and bought a one bed retirement flat in a small city in the southwest,closer to my children.I have joined walking groups and found this to be very sociable,have no upkeep on my property,and have no problem affording holidays..I'm living alone for the first time in my life,but not lonely.

Age UK run activities that bring people together. It varies from county to county, but if you put your county name and Age UK in google that should get up the local branch.

HowVeryDareYou I've sent you a PM.

Have you tried NWR? They’re an organisation for women and I’ve made some steadfast friends through groups in the past. nwr.org.uk/

One thing I’ve learnt through moving a number of times over the years is not to wait for anyone else to make the first move, because you’ll wait a long time. If you meet someone you think you’ll get on with ask them if they’d like to have coffee with you. Nowadays there are so many cafes and tea shops and I think that makes it easier than asking someone to your own home, initially.

Good luck!

Thanks for all the replies and suggestions. I've just started doing some charity work, as a Call Companion. I rang a lady yesterday, and although we chatted for an hour, what I really need is to get out and see people. I went to my local park today, sat watching the ducks and swans, and struck up a conversation with a lady. We swapped Facebook details, she lives on the other side of town. I need to overcome this lack of confidence (that I seem to have had since being ill last year).

In Devon, we have "Aging Well", sponsored by the council, and now with a lottery grant. To encourage folk who live alone to meet up, which they do weekly. Each one is alone and looking for company, which seems to work well.

I made some friends at the pool. We all swam at the same time and started going for coffee. Unfortunately I go to a different pool now where this hasn't happened.

Howverydareyou I have made friends, ones who live near me and where the friendship is self sustaining through Gransnet. In one case I sent a PM to someone, I realised lived somewhere in my area and who was struggling alone with a catastrophe. In the other case we met through a GN meet-up.

I am not sure whether you live in a town or country but villages will, as others say have WI, which even if not your thing long term, do help you get to know your fellow villagers. Volunteer with a charity. I worked with Age Uk for some years. They are not just charity shops, although Charity shops are always begging for volunteers.

I know it is difficult taking that first step and fearing rejection, I think we have all been there. But sooner or later, suddenly there is a slot that fits you and you are away.

I meet up monthly with 3 other GNs for coffee and I think this is year 5 or 6. Another group of us met frequently pre Covid in central London and that will be starting again soon.

I met another GN for coffee yesterday- we have met before and we correspond online.

You could ask online how many are around the Nottingham area and would like to meet up for coffee. Admittedly I am fairly outgoing so I have no qualms about organising it.

I correspond online with two other GNs with whom I just "clicked" but both live very far away.

Just talk to everyone, with some you will click, some you won’t ….also a bit of voluntary work which can be as physical or as light as you want, can be once a week or seven times a week really in your control and you can meet some lovely people
Most of my close friends have come from chance meetings

‘Meet up’ isn’t in every area, there isn’t one in mine
My friend has a best friend just from sitting next to her on a bus and getting into conversation

Ah too far away from me, but some great suggestions on here. I'm really quite insular from choice (think hermit) but if I DID want to meet new people I wouldn't hesitate to join MEET UP.

I tend to speak to everyone whether it be dog walking. Standing in a queue. Waiting for a bus etc etc, but I’m not a shy person so maybe that’s much easier, I’m few years older than you! And retired, I would suggest joining a local group! Good luck op

Chestnut Thanks. I've found a group about a mile away, they meet once a month for couple of hours. It's a start.

Dottygran59 Thanks . Nottingham. I need to join something/get some hobbies.