Can anyone make me feel more comfortable?

Update. Well the bride and groom came for a visit yesterday. I must say my niece/God daughter looked very happy which was lovely to see. She said even before I mentioned it that their marriage was not legal here in UK but that they planned a civil ceremony here. I said that we'd be happy to travel wherever it took place. However, he said there might be a delay as they'd have to wait for his extended family to visit. Hmmmm. They were all at the Muslim wedding. I'd like our side of the family to be able to attend a legal one asap. I'm still very slightly concerned. Oh well...

The groom is an Egyptian citizen. I will tactfully check re the legal status of this wedding when they return. I just want my niece's rights to be guaranteed for when the 'first fine careless rapture' is over and, potentially, children come along. I will try to be as positive as possible.

Kali is right though. We had a Muslim wedding in my country of origin and my marriage is recognised as valid by my own country - a secular country, therefore accepted as legal under English law.

We had to register our marriage with the Registrar of Muslim Marriages there and did not have a civil ceremony in the UK.

If you have a Muslim wedding here in the UK, then the marriage is not recognised as valid under UK law.

I think she should be made aware that she won’t be considered to be married under UK law though grandtante. She might not realise that.

The fact that your niece is marrying a Muslim of Egyptian nationality, does not necessarily mean that he is a fundamentalist and will expecct her to conform to Sharia or that he lives by it himself.

Nor did you say whether he is an Egyptian or a British citizen.

Take the time to get to know your niece's husband.

Presumably your niece and the man she is marrying, or has just married are well aware of the cultural differences they will be facing.

IF problems arise, offer your opinion if and when it is asked for and not otherwise, exactly as you would do if she was marrying the boy next door.

I hope she takes your advice. Without going through a civil ceremony here she will not be a married woman in the eyes of anything but sharia law and her husband will have all the rights that sharia law bestows on him. A very unequal partnership.

I will very strongly advise my niece to have a civil ceremony when they come back to the UK. So far all she's said is that she'll have a party.

No Kali sharia law marriage is not legally recognised in the UK. I have a personal reason to know this (not me, we got married in church) but I don’t want to say how I know on a public forum. Hope you don’t mind.

Is an Islamic Marriage Recognised by UK Law?

For a Muslim couple to enjoy the financial security and the other benefits bestowed by the completion of a civil marriage they must have either married under Sharia law in a country where this type of marriage is recognised by law, or they must get their civil marriage in addition to their Islamic marriage.

We would strongly advice every couple who live in the UK and are married under Sharia law to check whether their marriage is valid and recognised by UK law.

If you are not legally married, you may find yourself in a difficult situation if you were to get divorced or if one partner passes away.

They really should have a Civil Ceremony here in the UK on their return, to protect her position.

Her position seems very precarious, by our standards, under a sharia law marriage. Does she know and accept that?

Just to say that sharia law marriage is not accepted as a legal marriage in the UK and they may therefore wish to make the marriage legal by a registry marriage when they come back here, if they do come back, which I assume they will to visit you.

They have only had a Shariah law marriage in Egypt. No mention of a civil one here, just a party.
Time will tell. I can only hope for the best. Thank you for the information SporeRB

I am a Muslim, my husband is English. We have been married for 30+ years.

If I were to say to my daughter that she has to marry a Muslim guy or I disapprove her choice of partner, I know what will happen.

She will refuse to speak to me and we will be estranged. So the best thing to do is to put aside your misgivings, give them your blessing and hope for the best.

Why are you worried about the Sharia Law when your niece and her husband will be returning to the UK? If they re register their marriage here, then she will be protected under the UK Civil law surely?

The Sharia Law in countries such as Egypt or Singapore has limited jurisdictions, the Sharia Court is there to resolve disputes in family matters related to marriage, divorce, custody of children and inheritance.

If he were to marry a 2nd time in Egypt without her knowledge, under the Egyptian law, he will face imprisonment and a fine and she has the right to divorce him.

As for the children, it will be up to them to decide which religion they want their children to embrace if any.

Have you met him? If you spend time to get to know him, you might feel more comfortable with the situation.

If they are returning here Aveline I would try not to worry. But I know its difficult. A friend has been in the same situation and her Muslim SiL actually attends church with her daughter.

Germanshepherdsmum

Will UK law recognise the marriage? I have no idea. If not they would need to marry again here.

They would have to have a civil ceremony in the UK, wouldn't they, as this ceremony may not be recognised here as legal?

Oh I know there's no guarantee of happiness in any marriage. I just want her to be safe and secure. I suppose I've heard so many horror stories about women in such marriages losing their rights that it worries me.

Aveline

I suppose that's just what I'm afraid of Callistemon 21 . Nothing to be done about it of course but I can't help having it in the back of my mind.

Sorry.

No, there is no guarantee of happiness in any marriage. We can only wish for the best and start out with hope.

That’s not very comforting. Sorry.

To be honest there are no guarantees of lifelong happiness with one partner whoever they are.

Aveline

I suppose that's just what I'm afraid of Callistemon 21 . Nothing to be done about it of course but I can't help having it in the back of my mind.

Well, pretty much the same thing happens to lots of people who got married in churches in Britain. Divorce and new partners after years of marriage.

My DH's parents faced a lot of prejudice when they married in 1926.MIL was catholic, FIL non catholic.
MIL was offended because she was unable to have what she called a proper catholic wedding mass, and FIL's anti catholic family refused to attend because they would have to go inside a Catholic Church.
They were happily married until his death 46 years later.

I suppose that's just what I'm afraid of Callistemon 21 . Nothing to be done about it of course but I can't help having it in the back of my mind.

I'm sorry you had problems marrying into such a bigoted family, paddyann but that has not been the experience in our family.

A friend's son converted to Islam before he could marry his Muslim girlfriend. They are very happy as far as I know but don't live in the UK. with a lovely family.

Some religions have stricter rules and expectations than the Anglican church and it is often Anglicans who have to have to be prepared to make the compromises.

Another Anglican person I know who married a Muslim was happily married for 30 or so years, lived here and he appeared to be Westernised (NHS Consultant) but then went to the Middle East and took another, younger wife. Like it or lump it or divorce.
Sorry, that is probably just a one-off; his first wife wasn't going to put up with being second best and if he'd been of another religion or none, he may have had affairs anyway.
He may have been having a mid-life crisis.

Thanks Growstuff. That's reassuring.
It was, of course, paddyann who wanted to avoid the national anthem. Personal preference I suspect.

National anthems aren't played much now but as I said when in the RoI we would never have left to avoid it. (We were 'protestant')