I know not many will agree but I ll say it anyway

Bluebelle you are not alone in this at all.
Christmas is hard for many, and particularly after this last year/two years. Take care.

I think we are all bombarded by images of everyone sitting round a huge table, multi generations having a great time. Add in to that mix friends and others, even posters on here, going on about the wonderful Christmas they’re going to be having with their families….for those who don’t fit into this tableau for whatever reason,its very hard. My only grandchild is abroad, I won’t see that daughter and him, my other daughter has no children. We don’t fit into the mix. I’ve got friends who drone on and on about the grandchildren, the wonderful sons and daughters in law, the wonderful parents in law etc etc. It does make you feel down hearted. But, we must all just enjoy the day as best we can, thankful that we are alive in these torrid times. Good wishes to all.

I am with bluebelle but I look on this time as yule which marks the beginning of the longer days, in the meantime it is my hibernation time and I am calmly happy on my own, doing things that I like. There is, thankfully, no frenetic activity in my home, no-one else to cater for and no-one here to impress. Two short visits to family and then back to my cosy nest

Pepper59

I can identify. I just don't feel the same about Christmas at all. We lost a friend this month very unexpectedly and funeral was two days ago. I really can't be bothered. Im trying to pluck up the courage to say it's just all too much, but feel the family would be devastated. I honestly could not do that to them. Im not doing the cooking this year. It was a massive effort just to put decorations up. For me Covid has changed something in me, the constant uncertainty. I will never be so glad as to get to 2nd January. Sadly, I think next year will be the same. This virus isnt going anywhere. Im sure I come across as miserable and ungrateful and I don't mean to be. I do know Ive much to be thankful for. Wishing you all a Merry Christmas, however you spend it and wherever you are.

I feel the same. losing my mum in the spring and a dear friend losing her husband this month plus a few other sad occurrences has really taken its toll. I can’t wait for the new year and a clean page.

I love Christmas and everything that goes with it. I will be with my family tomorrow but even when I'm not I simply revel in Christmasses past and remember them with utter joy even though many of the main participants are no longer with us. New Year finds me a little more reflective and melancholy but that can wait. Merry Christmas to everyone who enjoys it.?

Barmyoldbat, did I read your post correctly? Did you say your dil had died 2 weeks ago and your son was upset because you didn’t go to help out? I must have read it wrong I’m sure, but that’s how it reads, I think maybe you didn’t check what you wrote. Very often what I put it changes after I press send. Hope you do t mind me pointing it out.
I have lost so many people I love over Christmas’s past, I think it’s a wonderful time for children and young families, it brings such joy. That’s how I always felt until my dh died, since then not the same.

What a touching post BlueBelle. I am another one who will be alone tomorrow apart from a visit early morning from my son and daughter in law. They are spending the day with her family. I will join my eldest son and his family on Boxing Day.

I lost my beloved husband twenty months ago and I am finding Christmas very difficult. Three years ago on Boxing Day he was emergency admitted to hospital for emergency surgery and at this time of the year I am reminded of his stay in ICU and his remaining time with me.

I always put on a happy positive face for my three sons but inside I am heartbroken. It is hard, especially at happy family times for some people. Yes we must celebrate families coming together but should remember for some of us it is a difficult time to get through.

3nanny6 I m not wishing my life away I m sort of wishing a week away, I m not expecting anyone who loves Christmas to not carry on loving it, I m simply setting up a thread for those that may feel a bit down, a bit sad a bit alone or just fed up
There are dozens of threads talking about the joys and wonders of Christmas and I m happy for you all but there are folks who are sad at christmas, alone at christmas, maybe ill or without joy for whatever reason and I want to remember them
My christmas will be fine but I m very very aware that many will not and that going on and on about how wonderful it is can not help
This is not meant to be a miserable anti christmas thread just an awareness that it’s not all sweetness and light for everyone
It’s not a have or have not just a small way towards balance

BlueBelle You're not alone. As a child, my father and sisters did jobs which meant working over Christmas. My father always drank too much when he wasn't working and my mother used to get stressed. There were always arguments, which is what I remember most about Christmas.

When I had my own young family, what I remember most is driving all over the country to visit in-laws, who guilt-tripped us if we didn't visit.

I've spent the last three Christmases totally on my own. I haven't been unhappy because I planned treats for myself. I ate what I wanted when I wanted, I indulged in ridiculously expensive bubble bath and relaxed, while listening to music I love, I watched DVDs I knew would make me feel good and had phone/video calls with the people I love.

This year, I've gone from planning a Christmas Day potentially for 10 people to Christmas Day for just two, which has needed a rapid re-think. I've never switched on to the commercialised idea of happy families and a beautifully decorated home (although my Christmas tree was brought down from the loft and decorated for the first time in three years) and I have a fridge and freezer stuffed with food.

It's just one day. I shall miss the time to browse the online sales, which is just about the only time I buy clothes.

I wish everybody on GN a contented Christmas, however they spend it and I sincerely hope that 2022 will be a happier New Year for all of us. xxx

BlueBelle

3nanny6 I m not wishing my life away I m sort of wishing a week away, I m not expecting anyone who loves Christmas to not carry on loving it, I m simply setting up a thread for those that may feel a bit down, a bit sad a bit alone or just fed up
There are dozens of threads talking about the joys and wonders of Christmas and I m happy for you all but there are folks who are sad at christmas, alone at christmas, maybe ill or without joy for whatever reason and I want to remember them
My christmas will be fine but I m very very aware that many will not and that going on and on about how wonderful it is can not help
This is not meant to be a miserable anti christmas thread just an awareness that it’s not all sweetness and light for everyone
It’s not a have or have not just a small way towards balance

I wonder whether we could set up some sort of organisation/website for people who spend Christmas alone and just want to do things which make them feel good. I know somebody who has a loving family, but hates the superficiality of Christmas and struggles not to become depressed over the "festive period". He shuts himself off from the world and for two days indulges in the things which make him happy. Maybe there should be somewhere for people like him to exchange thoughts and ideas.

I'm another one who can't wait for it all to be over. Too many sad memories. It doesn't upset me as much now as it used to when people talk about seeing their children and grandchildren . I just smile and go along with it. I am happy for them and don't want to spoil their Christmas joy but I can be screaming inside.

I just want to send and hugs to those who are missing their loved ones at this time of year

kathsue It would be nice if you didn't just have to smile and people actually thought about people like you too. I haven't a clue who you are, but I'd like to return the and the hugs.

Thank you growstuff. You're right people don't think. Even my sister said I should "make more effort" to decorate the house for Xmas. That is one time I wish I'd said something but then I'm too nice and didn't want to make a fuss.

Obviously people can feel however they feel, but I for one don't see Christmas as only for large families. My DH has a large family and to be perfectly honest I'd much rather be at home just the two of us. We will go over in the afternoon but it will be loud and for all the 'noise' there won't be much real conversation. I hope you manage to find joy in the Christmas you have, but definitely don't write it off as only being for large families or those with grandchildren close!

It is such a difficult time for so many people. The happiest Christmas memories I have are of when I was a child and my parents made it a very special family time. Uncles calling in for a festive drink and gave ‘a few bob’ to me and my sisters. There would be roast chicken and all the trimmings, followed by Christmas pudding and mince pies with custard. Afterwards, we would ‘withdraw’ to the front room, when my Dad would play the piano and we would accompany him with popular songs. Our needs were modest. Money was sparse. As we get older things inevitably change and Christmas has now become so commercialised. I have struggled in the past during a difficult marriage. However, I am very fortunate in having my children and grandchildren living nearby and will be with them on Christmas Day. I have friends who have been bereaved or are suffering psychologically and choose to be alone at this time. Wherever you are and whatever you choose to do, best wishes for Christmas and 2022.

Cal-Urania yes you did read it right and I can’t go over while the children are all in the house. I am CEV, I am having the 4 vaccination because I am immune suppressed but yesterday I had my booster so I am better protected now. I am not willing to put myself at risk by mixing with people or family who are not vaccinated. I have met my son outside a few times and he. Is ok with it and understands

Sorry put the wrong name should be Allsorts

Apart from when my children were small I've never really enjoyed Christmas as an adult. I don't really know why but the 'black dog' starts nipping round my heels in November and I'm just glad when it's all over

January 1st is one of my favourite days of the year!

kathsue

Thank you growstuff. You're right people don't think. Even my sister said I should "make more effort" to decorate the house for Xmas. That is one time I wish I'd said something but then I'm too nice and didn't want to make a fuss.

Don't ever feel you're "too nice". You are a person too and have a right to do what you want. Maybe next year, when travel restrictions allow, you should book a solo trip to Katmandu (or whatever you fancy).

There is absolutely no reason why you should be pressurised into decorating your house.

Grannybags

Apart from when my children were small I've never really enjoyed Christmas as an adult. I don't really know why but the 'black dog' starts nipping round my heels in November and I'm just glad when it's all over

January 1st is one of my favourite days of the year!

Me too. I enjoy the 22 December because that's when days start getting longer.

I honestly feel that Christmas Day is just one day. Family and friend relationships are precious, but shouldn't be reserved for one day.

Great idea growstuff Katmandu here I come

kathsue

Great idea growstuff Katmandu here I come

Katmadu just came into my head, but maybe people should save up for something special, which doesn't place family pressures in their fanilies and them. I don't think many people actually spend the idyllic family Christmas. I suspect it's a manufactured dream for many.

BlueBelle your post of 19.29 and I totally see where you are coming from and meant no offence to you. I have just battled
over 16 days of Covid and by no means am I saying how wonderful it is to play happy families and everything is great because it is Christmas.
One thing I know is that I am glad to be alive and blessed I am still here to see the Christmas coming in I have told family I will have a quiet Christmas Day and even though they are upset they understand and I will see them on Boxing Day.
Coming out the other side of that Covid has opened my eyes and life is very precious.
Christmas Blessings to all.

Calpurnia

my husband went out on his bike one fine day and a policeman came to my door, he took me to the hospital with blue lights but I was too late to say goodbye. That very same year I lost two more people dear to me, including a much loved sister at this time of year

I am glad that kim19 is very happy but maybe it would have been better to post about her happiness on another thread. Most on here, are just about coping and trying to make the best of it in our own ways