The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning

I’m going to make a list for dds of anything valuable that shouldn’t be dumped or given away
I have a commemorative china cup and saucer from MIL's house; inside is a tiny, carefully written note that one the same had been valued at £275 on a TV antiques programme.
I checked on the internet the other day and found it's now worth about £25 - if anyone should want it.

We don’t have a lot of clutter, but obviously clearing a house can be a major headache - not to mention very sad for those left to do it.

I’ve done it (with others) twice, once after a death, and once after my mother had to move into a care home. That was even worse, IMO - the person’s still there - you feel as if you’re throwing their life away.

I’m going to make a list for dds of anything valuable that shouldn’t be dumped or given away, They’ll already know about anything they’re sentimentally attached do.

Apart from all those, please just get the house clearance people in!

I mentioned being bothered by my beloved ‘clutter’ remaining to someone whilst shopping (also a widow) She said:
‘Are you leaving a house to them?”
‘Yes”
‘Is it worth something/a lot?”
‘Yes”
‘Well let them get on with it”.

PinkCosmos, when I was a child, neighbours of ours had an identical one!

Maybe70 - I have an old sweet tin with a photo of a white fluffy kitten on it. It must be at least 60 years old. I have never been able to bring myself to throw it away. It means nothing to anyone else so no doubt it will be thrown away when I die.

I suppose the consolation is that I won't know anything about it then.

On the other hand, when I was young my mum had a plaque in the bathroom with a Mabel Lucie Atwell poem on it - 'Please remember, don't forget, never leave the bathroom wet etc.'. I could always remember the poem but the plaque vanished years ago. Anyway, whilst on holiday we went in a charity shop and they had the exact same plaque for £2. I just had to buy it and it now has pride of place in my bathroom. I doubt my children will want it when I die, but you never know

A friend of ours had 20 x 1 kg bags of papers to take to the shredding company after her dh died. He’d kept everything, inc. e.g. electricity bills going back to the early 1970s.

Mountains of other stuff, too - multiple gadgets, inc. half a dozen blood pressure monitors. I asked why on earth he’d needed 6 - answer was that when he couldn’t find the first, because of all the stuff, he’d go and buy another - rinse and repeat.
Needless to say, he was a hoarder, and a compulsive shopper on top. He once asked dh to go through all his coats and jackets with him, to see which could go to charity shops.
There were over 40 - some with labels still attached.

Many of the gadgets he bought were never even used - among others there was a boxed rice cooker sitting there gathering dust for several years.
Talk about the awful warning!

M0nica

A Goblin Teasmade would be in the shed waiting for the next antiques fair. They fetch good money in good condition.

Really? It's not an original, it's c1970.

Saw a really sad post on facebook today. Someone was throwing out a small ornament of her MIL’s that had a note written on the bottom saying it had ‘been in her bedroom since childhood’. I found it terribly sad that no one in the family would want to keep something that was treasured by a mother/grandmother. It made me think of things that I have. My dad’s snap tin. The yellow jar that was for dripping but then became the jar in which I saved three penny bits till I had enough to make a pound. I hate the thought of them not meaning anything to anyone else

A Goblin Teasmade would be in the shed waiting for the next antiques fair. They fetch good money in good condition.

Exactly what is clutter.

I don't think it means you have a lot of stuff, just lots of stuff that is no longer relevant/of use to you.

The clutter in my house is the piles of stuff we will probably never use again but have never got rid of - books we will never read again, papers that never got thrown out, old hairdryers/tongs/curlers not used in years, clothes that no longer suit or fit, broken things. I've been decluttering for a year and still not got to the bottom of it.

Clutter is keeping a 1970s Goblin Teasmade in the attic just in case

Exactly what is clutter. I am a clearer out and tidier. Our loft contains the suitcases still in use and Christmas decorations. Most of my clothes fit in a 5 foot wardrobe, a large Georgian chest of drawers and the coat cupboard. There are empty drawers and shelves in a number of the rooms.

However my house is rich in pictures on the walls, books in the book cases and lovely antique furniture, virtually worthless these days.

So exactly is clutter? To take pictures off walls, the carefully selected and curated books off the shelves and chuck out the furniture, would make life not worth living.

BoadiceaJones

I'm photographing all the bits and pieces of family stuff, making an album with notes. Some of the items might look a bit ordinary, and could easily just be disposed of if the kids don't know the connection. For example, my gt grandmother's china, given to her as a wedding gift back in 1865, well used by my grandmother, but very meaningful to me, Honiton lace collars, granny's driving dust coat, dating from 1905, paintings. My daughter is very keen to keep such things and to know where and when they were used, and how they arrived at the other side of the world. Your comments have inspired me to just get rid of junk, faded old photos and slides with no provenance or names, clothes that don't fit, shoes that don't deserve to live. Thank you for the next month's project!

This is exactly how I view it. Keeping and cherishing the loved.
Getting rid of the rest.
I’ve been slowly going through my “stuff”, but I find a few areas need a few passes through. It’s easier to get rid of more each time.

I'm photographing all the bits and pieces of family stuff, making an album with notes. Some of the items might look a bit ordinary, and could easily just be disposed of if the kids don't know the connection. For example, my gt grandmother's china, given to her as a wedding gift back in 1865, well used by my grandmother, but very meaningful to me, Honiton lace collars, granny's driving dust coat, dating from 1905, paintings. My daughter is very keen to keep such things and to know where and when they were used, and how they arrived at the other side of the world. Your comments have inspired me to just get rid of junk, faded old photos and slides with no provenance or names, clothes that don't fit, shoes that don't deserve to live. Thank you for the next month's project!

An interesting post. I've been thinking along these lines for some time and indeed about death but not morbidly, just being realistic. In my early 70s, in very good health etc but I feel a real, pressing urge to get rid of stuff. Also to label some items so that the family know their significance eg my late father's RAF brooches, some rings, a few knick-knacks etc. Without prompting DD1 is taking some leave next month and wants to go through the loft (on the basis it's a fire hazard). The garage too hasn't had it's annual sort out for a couple of years. Unfortunately DH has a lot of stuff, he won't part with anything. Why do I need 3 frying pans??? I rarely fry anything. There's enough crockery to serve the Russian army. I'm looking forward to empty cupboards.

Almost all 'rubbish' in our house belongs to my husband. I daren't touch it.
I've told him several times he can't expect our children to do that job but he continues to accumulate.

If we get rid of the junk and clutter just now, when we go, the 'good stuff', you know, the precious things, has a better chance of surviving the house clearance.

Having cleared out relatives houses and really found heart-wrenching things, I don't want to do this to mine. BUT am I ready to do it I'm not sure. It makes me think am I that near the end . We had a big clear out when we moved but have started to accumulate again.
I do have a clear out of clothes in summer and winter and try to practise the one in one out policy,anything chipped even if it has sentimental value. I also make sure I throw out unused bottles of perfume etc. that were unwanted presents.
Maybe this Winter a really good sort would be good and persuade DH who is an horder to join in.

Do I love it?
Do I want it?
Do I need it?

DH broke an ornament of mine the other day. It had sentimental value but no real monetary value, so I didn't mind. Then he said he would replace it! I bet he gets me something similar for my birthday. I don't want any more stuff!!!

Oh yes, I've recently done quite a bit if this. Not just for when I'm gone, but to feel better in the present. I found the process quite fun when sorting things for my children to go through to decide whether they wanted to keep things or not, mostly they didn't! ?
But also it was good to talk them through my reasons for having kept some things in the first place. I felt this was much better than my own experience which was coming across my late mum's keepsakes and not knowing why she kept most of them!
I continue to sort for charity shops, I always have a collection bag 'on the go'. I feel good when the clutter has gone.

I'm trying to downsize my stuff and DH fills the empty space with more books.

I'm thinking of moving to a smaller property next year which may or msynot have a loft space, so every time I go in the loft I try to drag something out to dispose of. It's working but it's a slow process. I tend to hang on to things just in case too. Then when I eventually get rid can guarantee a couple of months later I need it.

To me the Swedish way of doing things sounds a bit extreme, but even although I live in Denmark, I had never heard of this until I came on Gransnet.

I am a bit "middle of the road" about this. There are things I want to have and enjoy for the rest of my life, so I keep them.

I have realised that no-one will want old photos, letters, lecture notes etc. when I die, so I am gradually clearing them out. Anything a research library might be interested in goes there. The personal stuff I don't want others reading is used for lighting the fire.

I have promised myself that when the day comes that I no longer feel able to decorate a Christmas tree, I will go through all the Christmas decorations and decide what goes out, and what is old and rare enough to interest the local museum.

The really useful /useless things that are being kept "because they might come in useful" are sorted out when there no longer is room on the cellar shelves for more jam jars etc. or whenever I remember clearing my parents' house!

Being Swedish I have never heard of this..... wish my mother of same nationality would.....