The Argy Bar and Tea Room

Apols for the welcome? silence.
Thought you were all ignoring me but it appears that I had a faulty gateway which a nice chappie called MichaelGN has had a good look at for me.
Now firing on all cylinders again (me, not MichaelGN).

I have my outfit for the cabaret night and have refined my playlust playlist.
I shall be performing -
* I'm Just An Old Fashioned Girl ? (working on the gravelly timbre with Old Cuban cigars found under the Bar and copious ? )
* Hey Big Spender (homage to RR).

Brook You can share my Burley Chassis outfit if you want, as long as you are a size 6 and 5'11"?

Don't worry about the Admiral AGA.
I have heard on the grapevine that there's a boat load of wrens due in port on Friday night. We'll head them in the direction of the Argy Bar and keep the upstairs cabaret slightly more upmarket ?

ixion I thought you’d got lost down the cellar.
I don’t want to put you off but I don’t think those were Cuban cigars. I think they could be a remnant of when we were trying to make sausages out of the llamas ?
I think we ought to introduce the Admiral to Pants next time he’s in dock. He might finally have met his match ? Pants’ll knows exactly what to do with a drunken sailor ?

Glad you are back ixion. I thought we were one waitress down and nobody to sing "Big Spender" and we do need the big spenders. If you do a good job you may be awarded a stiffgit by Pant. I am hoping for one for my amazing cocktails.

Phew, yes, welcome back ixion, I was convinced that you’d fallen into the dock, been rescued by a hunky sailor and been whisked off for a life of unrestrained luxury and passion! Or was that a dream I had last night? ?
Actually I was mainly concerned about the double shifts I could see looming!
Well done Michael, no-one wants a faulty gateway, particularly at our time of life!
I’ve been practicing my quick changes for the cabaret - I can hide behind brook’s giant bottom, so no-one can see my smalls.
Will I earn a stiffgit for my rapid changes, or my über clean toilets? I just want one, I don’t care what it’s for. Please, pants.

Thor and I have invented some delicious cocktails with the help of brook's Llamartini which has lots of gin as suggested. We couldn't find any other syrup except treacle so that has gone in with llama hair of course.
Argy Appetiser - vodka, brandy, whisky with a touch of black pepper.
Cabaret Chiller - Rum over ice with a splash of bovril.
Sunset Surprise - bourbon, a dash of poteen and crushed paracetamol.

Ooooh thank you ixion for the offer to share your Burley Chassis outfit, sadly I don’t think I can squeeze my giant bottom into a size 6 and I’m not very tall either ... never mind I think I’ll stick with my leather look jumpsuit, it went down a treat the other evening. ...
Anyone rehearsing the cabaret tonight? We want a polished performance for the wrens and the upmarket clientele..

Those cocktails sound tantalising AGA you and Thor have been busy! They’re definitely unique and we can probably charge top end prices ?

I really fancy the Sunset Surprise, curing the hangover in advance. Very clever. Is there a marmite version of the Cabaret Chiller?
I’m happy to rehearse, we don’t want any hiccups on the night, do we? Although, with the cocktails...............

??Put him in a longboat and make him sail her, ...?? Doodle, works every time ?

‘Hooray, up she rises’ could be another cocktail AGA, ? made with Navy Rum and Viagra...another that works every time ?

I can see that my Stiffgit mounting days aren’t over with everyone desperate for one....I shall give lessons ?‍?

Will you give a discount on the lessons if I give you free poteen and cocktails pant?

?
Is the cabaret on the Roof Terrace or in the Bar, where I'm sending the wrens for the Admiral's delectation?

Cabaret on the roof with cocktails and nibbles and llama hair blankets. Wrens can keep the Admiral at bay in the bar.

AGA brilliant cocktails. What a star brewer you are.
Pants I love your up she rises cocktail
It seems lots of the staff want stiffgits. Perhaps the male members need some training exercises Pants ?
grandmajet I’m with you. I would love a marmite version of the Chiller ?
brook ixion I hope you are practicing your cabaret act. Your outfits are amazing, with you two on stage we should rake in the money.

Yep definitely practicing Doodle don’t want to let the side down ..oooh it’s exciting isn’t it!

? who wants to be a millionaire......?

Quick change for Nights in White Satin...

brook, stop twerking while I’m changing behind the Giant Bottom, you’re exposing me to the punters!

Almost there- another hour will do it for sewing on the sequin and Swarovski crystals.
I shall be entering to the title music from Goldfinger, giving it a fair bit of welly.

(?I am contemplating offering it to RR to buy for lemon - that'd swell the coffers ?)

? I love it ixion. You are so talented. I’m sure you’ll get a stiffgit!
I’m sure R R will pay handsomely for it. He does love lemon so much.

“I shall be entering to the title music from Goldfinger, giving it a fair bit of welly.”

Ooh Ixion I read that last word as “belly” and thought, it’s really not that big and if you just wore your corset, you’d have them lapping it up!

ixion, you could make lemon’s wedding gown, and all our bridesmaids dresses. She hasn’t asked yet, but I’m sure she will - won’t she......, surely she will.
Reggie will pay a fortune for haute couture for his darling.

Oooh ixion how absolutely splendid - Love it !

Yoo hoo!
Just popped by with the wedding invitations ( 1st May!) and yes, as you have already guessed you are all invited to be bridesmaids on that happy day.?
Get fixed up at Madame Pom Pom’s, you can be measured up for dresses and may choose the design......as long as they are in a gold colour ( my and Reggie’s fave colour.)
ixion ! I must have that dress to be married in, is it a size 26?
I seem to have put on a pound or two lately ( either that or am expecting twins.)
Can you put on our wedding breakfast here after the ceremony? We are actually tying the knot aboard the HMS Stiffbarnacle and the Captain will be marrying us, and the Admiral will be Reggie’s best man.I hoped that Thor would give me away ( even as I cling to him)?
RSVP to the yacht ( parked behind Aldi, next to the gasworks.)

Dearest lemon,
Are you really sure he is the One For You?
I still have grave doubts about whether this for the best.

Money doesn't buy everything, you know?

ixion wow that outfit is amazing.
Ooh lemon I’ve always wanted to be a bridesmaid.
Madame PomPom will be in her element. ?

I’m so excited to be a bridesmaid. lemon will look beautiful, won’t she?
I must practice catching the bouquet, Doodle will be there with her elbows!