Oh please help me Wise Women of GN

Oh Fanny what a pickle. Good advice on here. The only other thing I can think off is, I don’t know where you live but is your house suitable ? My Parents moved into a purpose built housing association flat when they were in their 50s due to my dad having a debilitating stroke.
Mum still lives there now, it has wide doorways, big kitchen, and a wet room with pull cord alarms, and best of all no maintainence.
Occupational therapists aren’t visiting in our area at the moment. It may take a while. But at least you can get the ball rolling. All the best to you and your DH.

Good morning Fanny, and I hope it is a better one for you. I just wanted to wish you luck in organising some help today. Nobody likes to be in the position of asking for help, but you really must, get on to your GP and emphasise how bad the situation was yesterday. ?

Morning Fanny
Hope this will be a better day for you and your husband.
Lots of people are thinking of you, and hoping you get something sorted to make life easier for you
Best wishes

There’s nothing I can add to the excellent advice you’ve been given Fanny but I just want to send my best wishes to you and MrF. I hope that you both managed to get some sleep last night.

Hope today’s a better day FannyC, hope you manage to have a good productive talk with your GP.
Is your husband’s arm feeling better?

Dear me, so sorry to hear you've both been experiencing poor health. Plenty of good advice on here already, but I just wanted to add my best wishes for a solution to your mobility problems.

As someone has said, yours are some of the posts I look for on GN.

Brilliant post NellG helpful to all of us!

'Morning All (I feel like I need Urms picture of Dixon here)
Thank you all so very, very much for your kind messages and PMs too.
I'll read through them properly later.
I'm honestly so touched how lovely you are - I feel a bit silly now, I'm feeling like I overreacted, but in truth, I suppose that I haven't...
Unfortunately I couldn't get through to the GP. It must have been ridiculously busy as I'm usually a bit of a ninja as far as phoning them at just the right time is concerned.
It went straight to engaged which means that there was more than 20 people on the line as soon as it opened at 8am.
DH seems much better today so far. He has even volunteered the information that his arm is feeling much better.
His breathing seems normal now, which it didn't last night.
I didn't have the best night myself to be honest, but that's to be expected isn't it.
I'm going to have a really good look at what help is available.
Have a good a day as possible, I hope that something nice happens to you all today, and a thank you hug from me x

PS re Dixon of Dock Green; did you know that Jack Warner's sisters were Elsie & Doris Walters? I learnt this fun fact at the weekend.

I discovered on Gransnet that if you need to change your bathroom because of a disability, you do not have to pay VAT. That saved us quite a lot of money. We are getting rid of our bath and having a large shower installed.

I sorted out a bath lift after DH struggled to get out of the bath, knowing that things would only get harder. It does mean that he can have a supervised bath even though it’s not perfect. We have a walk in shower but he hates it.

But the experts on here are right and you do need an OT assessment and advice, even if you decide you don’t need to act on all of it yet. Not surprising you are feeling overwhelmed, but setting in train getting the right advice will give you back some control, and that alone will help.

I'm glad things look a little better this morning.
Instead of phoning, could you email your GP? That way you could itemise all your concerns and make sure nothing gets forgotten.

I'd second Erica23's advice to consider purpose-built housing. The extra-care apartments where my Dad lives are lovely and the only rule is that one of you must be over 55.
There's as much or as little help available as you need, when you need it. You'd certainly have been supported yesterday.
It might be something to consider looking into.

I'm glad you're feeling a little better FannyCornforth but please don't wait to seek help including making sure you have any financial benefits. And don't feel you are bothering your doctor. You need to think and act for the future. That's what I think anyway. I'm glad your husband is improved too.

Good to hear that your husband seems to be picking up today FannyCornforth. Upwards & onwards. x

RiverWalks advice is perfect FannyC.
My Aunt called an Ambulance as my Uncle couldn`t get out of bed and they were wonderfull and so helpfull.
I hope you both feel beter very soon.

FannyCornforth, I was sorry to read your post about the difficulties you and your DH are having.

There is some excellent practical advice on here and I hope you are able to access some practical help such as a bath aid as a matter of urgency. In the long term having the bath removed and a large shower with seat may be the best idea. Having once got stuck in a steep sided bath I know it can be frightening.

Your DH could feel worse as a reaction to the vaccination and it's good to read he is better today, let's hope he will gradually improve now. People's reactions seem to vary but if he is still having problems your GP should see him asap.

We had bath removed and shower installed instead we love it .ring social services and your gp our neighbour got a grant towards fitting a shower after his wife refused to use bath (she has Alzheimer's) .

I am so sorry to hear about your problems, FannyCornforth. Take good care of yourself. ?

I’m really sorry to read of your problems, Fanny, and hope you get some help and solutions soon.
?

Good morning, and I am so glad to read that today is a bit better for you than yesterday was. There has been lots of good advice on here which I am sure is helpful, but for what it is worth, my advice would be to do what you can by yourselves, SS are over stretched, and you may wait months for anything to be done. If you can do so, get a walk in/wheel in shower with a seat or whatever you need put in, get rid of the bath, this is a safety issue and the potential for one of you slipping and hurting yourself is there. Have you tried contacting any of the relevant charities which help with Arthritis? They may be a better help than SS. Good luck!!

Your age is immaterial to any needs you have for support and assistance. It is not just old folk who need carers, and home helps. Adult Social Services is for ALL adults (over the age of 18 yrs). Contact them, tell them what you have written here. Write down (type or record if writing difficult), all the many daily tasks that are difficult for you. Go on your worst day - not your best.
There are so very many aids available these days to assist with ordinary everyday tasks, having them can make life so much easier for you both.
Don't just ignore things and feel sorry for yourselves - do something about it this week and start on the path to newer better lives.

So sorry to hear of your dilemma yesterday and you did the right thing in asking GNers for their help; lots of good advice was given as usual. Hope you manage to get through to your GP soon and glad to hear that your husband feels better today. Good luck

So very sorry to hear your woes fanny have you applied for direct payments this is a certain amount of money you can use to buy in care for either yourself or your husband your situation almost sounds like mine in fact it’s a real mirror image of our situation except my dh has recovered from his pneumonia and he’s so much stronger even although he coughs regularly due to an asthmatic condition. It’s awful to think of you both crying it breaks my heart get in touch with the local social work department tell them all don’t hold back go to the senior in charge if you get nowhere. I’m sure they can help you the social work department and GP district nurses have been so helpful to us in various ways. Try them. Hope you can get the help you so need please pm me if you need further advice. Hugs to you both

Hoping you and you husband are able to benefit from the advice given.
This kind of situation is what bcomes more common as we age, I dread it.

When you’re feeling much better FannyC it would be interesting to ask whether we all responded because we saw the words ‘ oh please help’ and wanted to be of service or because we saw ‘wise women of GN’ and thought yep that’s me.

LauraNorder We are the very font! ?