Night Owls: Part Two-whit, Two-woo

I'm up for a joke if you have any - I did enjoy the Bradford ^turn-off one
Fanny C. Have I ever!? How do think I've had so many "Reports" and "Deletions"?
But maybe you're not trying to lead me astray again; btw, you're not Scotch are you?
Using the Rule of Thumb motto "Sometimes Rude but Never Crude"; try these good "Oldies" (repeats!)
Lady talking to her friend says
I think my husband is depressed.
It hasn't stopped raining for 3 days and all he does is stare through the window.
If it's still raining tomorrow, I suppose I'll have to let him in!"

Sign spotted at local chemist's shop'
" Try Viagra. It won't make you Sean Connery but it might make you Roger Moore!"

Feedback needed to work out the audience, before proceding!
Next-door lady Merrin, has has just brought round an off-cut from her home-made family-size quiche for lunch!
Too hot 30C for soup!
Will be back later to talk about Owls again!

Hello Rufus!
No, I'm not Scottish (intriguing!)

Thank you for the jokes. Here is your feedback as requested:
I really liked Joke A. I will be telling it to MrC in due course.
I didn't like Joke B. Too corny.

I've got a little quiz / game for you.
My A level English teacher is now a famous comedian. Can you guess who they are?
(I originally posted where I am from when I denied being Scottish, but I deleted it as it may be too much of a clue.)

Enjoy your quiche! Bon appetit!

Hdello all owls. Hope you're all cosy even if awake. I was watching 'Singin in the rain' yet again. Lovely. Thought I might have slept better as I had some real good exercise yesterday chipping away at the ice on my driveway. Seems not...... Think I'll wander around the wee quizy games we have on GN. Quite enjoy some of them.

Hi Kim!
Ooh I love Singin' in the Rain!
Especially Donald O'Connor.
He's a genius. I must have watched his Make 'em Laugh routine hundreds of times.

DH just brought me a cup of tea because he noticed I was awake. The frost is thick on the ground here. I hope it melts by the time we get up.
Joke A yes, Joke B no, because I can’t repeat it.
Thanks for the reminder about singing in the rain. We have that on DVD if I can find it. I once tried that bit with the sofa, without success.
Oh well, tea gone, roll on sleep, hopefully for all of us.

Molly 'I once tried that but with the sofa, without success'

I didn't like Joke B. Too corny
Fanny That's OK! In fact I 'm surprised it wasn't too sutt[e for you! Others are obviously trying to work it out!
As a matter of fact I was about to "pounce' when the penny dropped; you were on about Donald not Des O'Connor who had an excellent sense of humour (after all, he was married 4 times).
His appearances with Eric and Ernie are still on YouTube and are hilarious.

Unfortunately I'm no wiser as to what jokes you and others are really "up for", so discretion being the better part etc.
Btw; this wasn't a joke on Friday!
Lily, my house carer, finishes her work then drives me to the specialist's surgery at the appointed time, only to find he only works there on Wednesdays; all other days he's at his less accessible surgery.
Wouldn't you think that the receptionist, presumably with a Uni. degree in the procedure would have the nous to ask which surgery would be more convenient?
Needless to say, words will be exchanged next Wednesday!

Good Health.

Good morning all. It's been snowing since I woke at 4.30. (N.I.) First snow this winter.
Just had a Lindt chocolate truffle.
Joke A was very funny Rufus. Didn't like joke B. Very annoying about appointment.
I don't know who your A level teacher was FannyCornforth I thought it might be Stephen Fry and I "googled" him. What an interesting life he has led.

Mollygo how thoughtful of your husband.

Hi Mollygo! Just a quickie to say that 'Singin' is currently showing on BBC2 iplayer which could save you some searching.

Hello Night Owls!
I adore Singing In The Rain.
I used to love sitting with my mum watching the Saturday afternoon showings of the great Hollywood films.

Fanny I hope you are feeling better after your neighbour’s insensitive queries.

Thanks Kim19. It will indeed help.

Aah! I think that this afternoon is just the right sort of cosy time to watch lovely old films.
Marilla thank you, I am. I really take things too much to heart.
Nadateturbe not bad guess, I love that you did some research! I do like a bit of a quiz. Earlier this week on a thread I got some people trying to guess my name! It proved surprisingly difficult.
I notice that Rufus hasn't tried to guess - I do wonder sometimes if he actually reads the comments.
It seems unanimous that Joke A was superior. More please Rufus - I won't Report you!

My favourite oldie is Life with Father. Irene Dunne and William Powell. Great family film.

It's actually available on YouTube.

Hope you are all having a good day.

Well, I was going to go to sleep last night but Raging Bull was in ITV and it was on my tick list of must see films, so I had to stay up till 2.30. Slept well afterwards though !

nadaterturbe I also loved Life with Father. I had no idea it was on you tube. Thank you for the tip.

Marilla
I actually managed to buy it on dvd a few years back. I just watched a bit on YouTube to check it was working. You can cast it to your tv too.

Hi just wondering if anyone is up and. Awake. I slept for Ann hour but now I.m wide awake

Me too Mistymoocake (interesting name!)
Have M E. which affetcs my sleep but OH and I decided to try sleeping together tonight. Bad idea. He's now fast asleep and I've had to tiptoe into his room with my Kindle and water. I think I might go make some tea and toast.

Hi I'm awake too. Have noticed a lot of posts recently written in the early hours. Was wondering how well gransnetters slept.
couldn't keep my eyes open at 7 this evening so went to bed and now I'm wide awake.

Good Morning! Hope you haven't forgotten you're supposed to be nocturnal!
Another joke! just testing the waters which I hope are not too hot! Be hearing from you, Fanny?

Relationship With God
70 year old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with great results.
Dr. Smith said, "George everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally, emotionally and are you at peace with your self and have a good relationship with God?"
George replied, "God and me are tight. We are so close that when I get up in the middle of the night, poof!...the light goes on & I go to the bathroom and then poof! the light goes off!"
"Wow," commented Dr. Smith, 'That's incredible!"
A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George's wife. 'Thelma," he said, "George is just fine. Physically he's great. But I had to call because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! The light goes on in the bathroom and then poof! the light goes off?'"
Thelma replies; Darn fool; he's been peeing in the fridge again.

Hello Everyone! Back in a minute or two

That was an early bedtime Grannyrose. You probably feel ready to start your day now. Unless one needs to be up early, I suppose it doesn't really matter when one sleeps as long as one gets some sleep.
I'm going to read something light for a while and then hopefully sleep. We have a house viewing at 10.30 tomorrow.

Hello, back again!
Still thick with snow here. The most snow we've had since 2017 (?) when we all had 'the Beast from the East'.
We must have about five inches.
Hello to MistyMooCake (yes, interesting name ) and GrannyRose.
Right, down to business with Rufus's offering. Now, I don't know what you thought ladies, but my initial, and prevailing thought was, 'what a very odd joke'.
It relies heavily upon the the audience (the jokee) believing in two rather strange premises in order for them to relate to the protagonists.

Strange premise 1) It is normal and commonplace for one's GP to enquire about the patient's "relationship with God".
Was that ever normal?
Said GP would be struck off for less now.

Strange premise 2) Protagonist defines his relationship with God as good ("tight") by the fact that his bathroom light automatically turns on and off. Eh?

The punchline is a good one. It seems as if the originator of the joke (the joker) started with a punchline and worked backwards.
Perhaps we could have a competition to come up with a better joke using the same punchline
In addition, much of the language was too Americanised.
So no, I didn't like that joke.

Gosh - I've never heard a joke analysed to that extent. I either find them funny or not. I had a little giggle over that one until I thought about the mess in the fridge and then I changed my mind .