Birthdays

Well Ellie in support of calendargirl - not enjoying the fuss of birthdays doesn’t mean one is either miserable or unable to enjoy the celebrations of others. Whoo hoo to you and your massive family gatherings. Let’s hope you get lots of attention and presents but some people crave neither.

Tell him just a card will do

[Calendargirl ]. What a miserable person you must be and to live with [ if you do live with someone ]. Birthdays with my family are a celebrations whether you are 1 or 100, family get together [ pre-covid ] at someones house or a family meal in a pub or restaurant and no matter how old you are you get the ''Birthday Cake'' [ with your age on ] and the ''Happy Birthday'' sang to them in front of everyone. [ Cringe ].Fantastic day for every one in my family [all 15 of us, kids, grandkids and great grandkids ]. You have no idea what you are missing. I f you have kids did you celebrate their birthdays?

Let him buy you the book ( that you are not interested in reading ) then hide it so he can’t read it

Buy yourself something you want and give it to him for his birthday...see how he likes that!

Well, I think my DH and I have it sorted! Birthdays we go out for a nice meal (well ... in "normal" times!). Christmas we often get something nice that we want for our home and pay half each. Seems to suit us. But this year was a first, he gave me perfume. I had to tell him which one, but after all "he's just a man!" Love him!

Why not suggest that neither f you buy for each other, much sooner put the money aside and treat yourselves to a special day out when Covid allows.

I wouldn't bother buying him anything now and just bake him a bloomin birthday cake. Some cracker answers folks lol

Well if you know he bought you a book he wants to read, give it back to him for his birthday. Sorted.

My husband and I decided years ago not to buy each other birthday or christmas gifts as all year round we just buy ourselves what we need. Instead we just go out for a nice meal (although not at the moment).

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Sorry to say this but your husband comes across as a very selfish, childish, spoilt man...you should have put a stop to his behaviour years ago. You reap what you sow in this matter unless you put your foot down and put up with it no more.

And then make time to read the books YOU already have- after all, most of country is in higher tiers, so not much open, or things to go do- and all the lock downs we keep getting- perfect time to just sit and read!?

icanhandthemback That’s so sad ?

I'd wrap him up the book he bought you for xmas and re-gift it to him for HIS birthday and tell your daughter to do same with her xmas gift Or yes the empty box to keep all he has already in as Genty says!?

Birthday presents are important to me but they don't have to be big, just thoughtful. My birthdays as a child always fell during the term and as I was at Boarding School, I would wait hopefully for a card or anything from my Mum and Dad. Invariably there was nothing and it made me feel unloved as all my other friends' parents would have arranged presents, cards and a birthday cake. As a grown up or teenager I'd get a vague promise of something from my Mum later and I did usually get it just before Christmas but then Christmas presents are delayed.
Even now when I buy my Mother's presents for the rest of the family, she will insist that I leave mine for later and it isn't as if she is going to buy it herself. It is almost as if she thinks that I don't matter in the same way as the others. It doesn't bother me as much with her these days but from anyone else, like my husband, it would sting.
However, I do make sure I treat all my loved ones with the thought I'd like to be treated with. Perhaps there is something going on with your husband like that.

That’s control and not a pleasant way to behave. Don’t accept them

My DH was 70 on the 2nd January. I bought him an online voucher for theatre tickets. His DD bought him a voucher for lunch at the Shard and my DD bought him a voucher for a night in a hotel. When it is safe to travel, we are going to have a wonderful weekend in London and we will both benefit. Something to look forward to!

Unless your DH is on the Autistic Spectrum there is no reasonable excuse for his behaviour.

Buy him some flowers. Nobody can dislike flowers, surely? But make sure you choose ones YOU like.

Bernie1964

Wrap up the book he gave you and present he gave daughter as he wanted them so much

That's what I thought too!

Tell him to grow up. It's my b/day today and I couldn't give a flying fox. But then, I'm not a man child. Buy a goat from Oxfam and bill him for it.

I agree with grandtante. It would be best if you could agree on a solution you can both live with.

I find wishlists helpful for my son and I to buy presents for each other. It means he gets something of a surprise, which he likes, and I don’t get something I don’t want. You can add to them throughout the year.

Do you know the book The Five Love Languages? I wonder if gifts are one of his love languages but not yours?

He would get short shrift from me.

“Throws his toys out of the pram.” That’s the key statement here, and says a lot about the relationship between the OP and this man boy.
Of course the answer is, not to care what he does birthday wise. I have never had any birthday present from my husband that I liked or that I didn’t actually buy myself. BUT he doesn’t sulk.
I wouldn’t buy this husband another single thing, why should anyone be made miserable by his childish behaviour ?
So have a Kitchen Table summit OP, and say calmly “ enough is enough of this crapsom behaviour.
My husband and I don’t buy each other specific presents any more, but if he says he likes something, I note it and buy it, to give at a later date.
For myself I have bought a brand new Audi TT, a diamond bracelet and a hot tap for the kitchen. I don’t like presents personally.