Never thought this sort of thing would bother me - but grandchild prefers other Nan to me.

I did not much like my paternal grandmother and adored my maternal grandmother. Fortunately my paternal grandmother did not like my mother and I was considered to like my mother so the feelinbg was mutual. She made a number of uite cutting and hurtful remarks to me when i was in my mid-teens, that still linger.

Thats great Kandinsky it's always helpful to see "what happened in the end".
It's funny as well to read a post and then realise its your own!!!

Also lots of names which I don't see over the past 5 years or more I have been on Gransnet . But then there are many who read, but only very occasionally pop up. Life is busy.

When gd was 3 other grandpa asked her how much she loved granny, gran , each uncle in turn and each time she extended her arms wider and wider and even around to her back when asked about mummy. Then grandpa asked how much did she love him— she put her two little fingers practically together!!
He sulked for the rest of the day! She actually called his bluff at the tender age of 3! So don’t worry about what they say- just be yrself and never be competitive.

I think my GD (now 22) has always preferred her other GM
She has now moved in with her. because the Grandad has passed away. They go for walks together. Her GM cooks the right food . I am not health conscious at all. Although I do not begrudge it, I can’t help feeling that when my husband left me for someone else, and I was devastated, no one felt any real sympathy. I was left to get on with it. My GD was very young at the time . Her mother (my daughter) did visit and bring plates of food etc but I don’t remember anyone staying with me and keeping company with me.
Oh well , we can’t force people to care - just got to get on with it . And Ofcourse being left alone through death is far more devastating than being left alone through divorce .

But on a separate note, I’ve just been reading back over all the replies, I only recognize one or two names that are still here. But I suppose 5 years is a long time. People come & go.

Oh my gosh I started this thread over 5 years ago! ( didn’t realize I’d been on GN that long )

Yes, things have very much evened out,
I can’t say I notice any obvious favoritism anymore, although 3 more grandchildren have come along since so maybe I’m just too busy
But you know what, even if one grandchild does prefer their other grandmother, I’m fine with that.

Kandinsky. Now she is about 10 how are things?

Children are like that. Our DGS would do a body swerve round me to get to DH. He only had one grandfather, so he was special, Where grandmas were concerned he had a grandma that he saw most days, certainly every week, while I was the surplus grandmother, whom he only saw every month or so. so I didn't really count for much.

He grew out of it. he is nearly 16 and we are looking forward to him coming to stay once he finishes his GCSEs.

My 4 year old granddaughter prefers her other grandma over me. It really hurt when I had her for the day and she said she wanted to go to her other grandma's house. 🥺
I never thought she would say that! We have a lot of fun together. ???

How are things now, years later? I'm having the same problem

Kandinski - could you ask your granddaughter what she likes doing at her other grans. You could then see if you could do something similar (or even better).

I’m a good few miles away from both sets of GC so I think it’s a given that they will see more of their other grandparents and therefore be closer. But hopefully they will continue to look forward to coming to see us as they get older and see we love them and are fun grandparents to be with.

Nothing wrong with a bit of bribery Moonlight]

Many contestants on SCD were told by Bruce that they were ‘his favourite’.

Some of the grans on here sound quite full of themselves, saying how they know they are the favourite, they do more ‘fun’ things, they’re not so ‘formal’.

Perhaps they are told what they want to hear!

I remember my 3 year old daughter saying she wanted another mother from the village to be her mummy . This was because the mum she was talking about didn’t have any rules. I was upset and first until my mum pointed out that being a good parent means you risk the child’s displeasure. I think children can be manipulative without realising. After all, they are the centre of their own universe. Take heart, it will pass . Hugs xx

We don't get to spend much time with our grandson because his mother prefers her own mother to babysit. However every time he comes here we play with him and give him lots of treats and now he's asking to come. I do feel your pain though.

Sorry - I don't know how to add an older comment - this was a comment regarding a grandchild asking if their grandmother was pregnant.

One of my grandchildren said the same at a similar age - it was a fair question to be honest. When a couple of years older, he said he didn't want to get old as you get ugly when you are. It still makes me smile. It's lovely how children are honest in their interpretation of what they see (when they are so young) - with no thought of upsetting people.

I am very much afraid that the other granny in our family (ie our son in laws mum) is desperate to be the favourite granny and she’s played all sorts of sly little tricks, to try to ensure she’s the ‘best granny in the world’. I simply couldn't understand it, and I make sure that I never stoop to her level, although I have been tempted!

I have been hugely hurt by her manipulative behaviour but now I’ve learned to just go with the flow. Our grandchildren are now 8, 6, and 4, and they now seem to love seeing us but there was a definite time a few years ago when her insinuations were very negative and our oldest g’daughter in particular was very taken in by it.

I eventually reminded the granny, very calmly one afternoon after a particularly uncalled for comment by her, that it wasn’t a competition and that I had never said anything negative about her. I think she has taken notice, and I think things are improved BUT it was hugely hurtful while it lasted.

Incidentally, she is the paternal granny so I don’t think that it’s always to do with mothers/daughters or sons/mother but far more to do with individual personalities. ?.

I have five grandchildren. I love them all equally but spend most of my time looking after the two who live nearby. They have sleepovers at my home and I regularly "kidnap" them for playdates.

My other three grandchildren live over 240 miles away. I generally spend school holidays and half-terms with two of them. Their nanna lives five minutes away from them and sees them all the time. The youngest grandchild is only one, so lockdowns have severely restricted family visits.

I'm delighted that 4 of my grandchildren have so much love and attention from both grandmothers. I'm resigned to the fact that I can't be with my southern grandchildren as much as I would like.

I don't think grandchildren love one grandmother more than the other, they just love us differently.

As long as you show them love, that's be all that counts. It isn't a competition.

It does hurt had the same problem with my sons daughter. She just came out with it one day saying she preferred her other nana. I’ve never forgotten about it and she s 10 now and it’s still sticks with me. And I’m a nursery teacher?

GC eh? A complete joy for me (that I never ever hankered after). I have one who charges at me like a thunderbolt and another who tolerates a high five. I think both care for me equally; they're just so wonderfully different. I've had the information as to what Granny does better than me. Not a chance of letting it hurt. Favourite put down (but not intentional) was when at four year old one asked me why my boobs were 'away down there' whilst we were dressing in the swimming pool. And there was me thinking I was quite respectable in that department. Huh! What I love is the way they accept a simple answer without supplementaries. It's a kind of 'okay then' and on we go. Bliss........

Don't worry - things change. My grandson (who has autism) ignored me completely until he was 5. He is now 11 and we could not be closer - in fact he asked if he could marry me!!
So carry on being the best grandmother you can be and it will all come right.

My GD lived with me for the first 18 mths of her life. Then they moved 3 mins walk from me. I see her every day and am a big part of her life. When she started school she told me she had a boyfriend called Josh in her class. She then told me she loved him. I jokingly said 'do you love him more than nanny?'. Without a second thought she said 'oh yes'. I was gutted! On a good note though I mentioned the conversation the other day ( 5 years later) and she said 'who's Josh? ' Children change frequently and so do their favourite people. So I was pushed aside for a 4 year old she'd known for 3 days ?

When my grandson was small he once burst into tears when we arrived as he thought it was the other grandparents who were coming. Turned out he wanted them for their dog! It might be something similar and not really personal.