Gransnet forums

Chat

Never thought this sort of thing would bother me - but grandchild prefers other Nan to me.

(113 Posts)
Granny23 Wed 02-Dec-20 12:55:50

My GS, when he was 4, told me, with hugs and Kisses, that I was his bestest favourite Granny. Although I was quite chuffed I immediately told him that this was unfair to his other Granny, who loved him just as much as I did.

His response? He assured me that he had told his other Granny that SHE was his favourite, so as not to hurt her feelings grin

Redhead56 Wed 02-Dec-20 12:39:28

I have three grandchildren first are twin girls I helped my daughter in law with their upbringing for over two years. I know they love me as they are affectionate but they do seem even closer to their other gran.
My other granddaughter has hardly seen us because of COVID but our daughter does What’s app everyday. When she has seen us she warms to me quite quickly. I don’t think it’s personal it’s just the way children are they say things they don’t mean for a reaction.

sodapop Wed 02-Dec-20 12:39:00

It does hurt when your grandchild says something like that Kandinsky no matter what your sensible head tells you. Other posters are right children do go through these phases and they are best ignored. Carry on as usual don't try too hard and don't spoil her.
Hope things get back to normal soon.

Toadinthehole Wed 02-Dec-20 12:38:28

That sounds hard ?, but I think it’s like most things Kadinsky, ‘ flavour of the month’ things always change, especially with kids. Like something one minute, and not the next. She’s only four. Please don’t read too much into it. It could all be reversed this time next year. Just enjoy what you have, and don’t over indulge her. Just be normal.?

lovebeigecardigans1955 Wed 02-Dec-20 12:34:35

It must be hurtful but remember that your little GC is too young to have learned diplomacy. I remember that I liked one grandma better than the other. GM 'round the corner' was very Victorian and strict whereas GM 'two bus rides away' didn't see us so often and made more of a fuss of us so naturally we liked her more.

anna7 Wed 02-Dec-20 12:31:45

I wouldn't worry . She may well be saying the same thing to her other grandma. Children can be good at playing adults off against each other even if inadvertently. She is still only a baby really. Maybe you are trying too hard and your little granddaughter senses it.

paddyanne Wed 02-Dec-20 12:25:59

my GD has other GP's who live 500 miles away ,she only sees them 3 times a year. I had her half days since she was 3 weeks old,When she was 3 ish she told me "you do know you're not my favourite Granny ,dont know?" I thought it was hilarious but her dad the son of the favourite granny was so annoyed at her and wanted her to say sorry.
I certainly wasn't hurt by it or surprised ,children will have favourites and just because you're not it for now doesn't mean it will always be that way .My GD and I get on great and she's always delighted to come visit (pre covid) and calls me or msgs me regularlyPlease dont make a drama out of a simple thing a child says ,just enjoy her .

Jaxjacky Wed 02-Dec-20 12:23:37

She may well say similar things to the other Nan, children are pretty clever, especially if they get a reaction!

Gwenisgreat1 Wed 02-Dec-20 12:20:56

I'm lucky about my GS - his other does not know about him!! His dad is a strange bloke, no wonder my DD and he separated before DG was born. I do feel sad for her, no idea what she is like or anything

B9exchange Wed 02-Dec-20 12:18:51

I think children naturally gravitate towards their mother's mother rather than their father's mother, not sure if that applies in your case. But as others have said it is just a phase. Remember how hurtful it was when your baby didn't want to go to your husband, they grow out of it!

Moonlight113 Wed 02-Dec-20 12:15:29

(I would say, make sure you giver her the best Xmas present, but I would probably be slated on here ?)

Moonlight113 Wed 02-Dec-20 12:13:37

Oh God, that must hurt so much.

Is she your son's or daughter's child? I think kids can be genetically predisposed toards one set of grandparents than the other. One of my two GSs seemed to prefer me, the other one definitely veered more towards other gran. (Think it's evened up now they're older)The one who preferred me looks like my side of the family, the other one takes after his dad's side. Not sure you can do much about it tbh. It will probably change as she gets older. flowers

Kandinsky Wed 02-Dec-20 10:44:37

I do everything I can to make her happy, always happy to see her etc etc, she sees other Nan same amount of time as she sees me so it’s not a ‘spends more time’ issue.
She just prefers her to me?
4 years old so actually says things like ‘ I want to go to other Nanny’s’ ‘ if I baby sit for example.
Anyone else experienced this?
I will obviously just ignore it & carry on as before, but it does kind of hurt a bit.