Never thought this sort of thing would bother me - but grandchild prefers other Nan to me.

I am my only gks grandmum,,
their other grandmum died when the eldest was very young. doubt they remember her.

I have never been what you would call close to my youngest, ie. only gd..
mummy`s girl

now she is just coming 12, and my! the change in her! she talks to me, shares with me! even started to "look after me"

I think in life everyone has preferences. My proudest moment was when one of my 9 dgc did a school project on inspiration and chose me as the person that has inspired her. She only sees me occasionally and her other dils parents everyday in life. She is also my sons dsught

I’ve not experienced this as I’ve always been the only Nanny around to babysit for my 5GC. One other Nanny sadly died long before the babies arrived, and the other 2 live miles and miles away. Personally I would actually ask GD why she would rather be with the other Nanny. Of course it’s not a contest, GC need love from all the family, but it could help you become closer if you understand her logic.

Many 4 year olds are experts at saying things just to see your reaction.
I can remember my niece at about the same age saying something similar to my mum - my mum's reaction was just to say "oh really? That's a shame as I had planned on doing....." and the mention something she knew that my niece enjoyed doing. Might be termed as bribery but it worked!
Another time she just told her that she would bee really really sad if she didn't see my niece.

And when she is at her other nans may be saying to her I want to go to my other nan.

My co-grandparents in law for middle daughter's children are so lovely. I don't think this is the case but I wouldn't blame them if they preferred their other grandma. I would prefer her if I had the choice between her and me. She has four grown up children and is so patient!

If we have several GC, sometimes it’s hard not to have a favourite one of them.

Just never make it obvious.

Children more honest I suppose.

When my GD said that ‘Grandma’ (I’m Granny) was her favourite, DIL was horrified as I did much more babysitting, I laughed and told GD that I would remember that next time I baked brownies (other grandma never baked).

Kandinsky - I know the little green monster of jealousy cannot be knocked out at times, but you are right in that the little one is lucky to have 2 loving grans that are a part of her life.

We can only build on the relationships that we have, by giving love and time. And like Welbeck suggested, maybe ask a few questions. It may be a simple as a favourite toy at the other granny's house.

OP, could you use the comment to open up a conversation maybe. i think granny maureen is busy today, so she can't babysit. do you like her house. what do you like doing there.
what would you like to do here today.

Sorry, could be fiklw

All human beings are fikle, with age we learn to mask it and the art of diplomacy

I would expect that the older we get, the thicker skinned we become.
We would also understand what other age ranges are capable of.

You aren’t being silly KANDINSKY - it’s a natural feeling , but we just have to accept it and realise that children can be very fickle!!

Thanks everyone - I know I’m being silly but it’s funny how things can get to you.
I’ll carry on as always, and just be thankful my grandchild has two grans she sees a lot & who adore her.

Gwenisgreat1

I'm lucky about my GS - his other does not know about him!! His dad is a strange bloke, no wonder my DD and he separated before DG was born. I do feel sad for her, no idea what she is like or anything

I think it's a little unfair (without knowing the circumstances) that the other grandparent(s) don't know about their GS.

41 years ago my sister had a daughter, my lovely niece. The father wasn't in the picture at all. He said things like "I'll pay for her to go to uni". I don't think he ever saw her. I don't know if he was married with a family. I didn't feel able to have that conversation with my sister as we weren't getting on at that time.

My parents, father in particular, got a lot of joy from her being there. Sadly he died when she was 3 and about the same time my mother developed Alzheimers so the child effectively had no grandparents. I remember thinking quite strongly that the other GPs were missing out on a delightful little girl and I also felt sorry for my niece since I had had a good relationship with my own GPs.

So, maybe you could spare a thought for those other GPs.

Though I have just remembered that when DGS1 compiled a list of “world changers” in Year 1, I was on it. Me, Pink, Spider-Man, Coldplay man and the Queen.

When the children presented their “Best Grandparents” cards at a school Grandparents’ Day event we went to, it was obvious from DGS1’s face and from his drawing of a curly haired gran and bald grandad that he didn’t mean us! The following year DGS3 presented his “Best Grandparent” certificate to DH, so I’m getting closer.

Don’t let it bother you, Kandinsky. They’re a fickle bunch and sometimes just blurt out whatever comes into their heads first (or when they’re younger, simply prefer the one who gives them most sweets). Don’t whatever you do compete. You sound like a lovely grandma.

My 6 year old grandson when he got out the car said to me "Oh, it's you". I replied "Who did you think you were visiting?" He said "Granny So-and-So" (his other gran). It just made me laugh and I still chuckle when I think about it. I must be thick skinned, it doesn't bother me one bit, I know he likes it at my house too. I think I probably said "Well, tough, you've got me today". Children have no filters. They are just so funny!

Just be yourself, don’t’ try’. She’s 4 years old. You sound like you care. That’s what she’ll pick up on. Your love is the most precious commodity.

Perhaps her other Nan does more fun things with her, plays games and buys her treats etc. Obviously if this is the case a little girl of 4 would prefer her. Try and find some fun things you can do together doesn't have to cost a lot of money.

Flavour of the month stuff with four year olds. Shouldn’t worry.
Also different strokes.
I‘ve probably been second place when they were small, I am more serious than other Grans although capable of make believe, crafting and fun but have noticed as they’ve got older they come to me for answers, for advice and for in depth discussion. I definitely feel as though I’ve moved up the favourite table.

I see you’ve said that you do everything you can to make her happy, but could it be a bit overwhelming for her? She may prefer a bit of space, if you’re maybe trying too hard.
I know that my mother was a more ‘everyday’ gran, whereas the Bodach’s mother was very overpowering.

Children can be funny but I was a bit offended when the 4 year old asked me if I was pregnant!

She could be saying the same to the other grandma.

Is the other grandma more compatible personality wise?
Does she do anything that she loves to do?

My 5 year old plays favourites all the time - with best friends, mum and dad, clothes, toys, etc.

It is not personal - you still get to see and play with your gc, that is the mist important thing.

It is dangerous to make to make it a competition and to do everything to make gc happy and make you number 1.

She may say that so you do all she wants and what her other grandmother doesnt do?

I know that my GC prefer the other Grans to me. One has a massive garden with swings and a treehouse. Also a dining room where they can eat.
The other has a farm. Quad bikes and ponies to ride.
So, I get why they whinged to go to the other Grans within minutes of being at mine. There isn’t even room for everyone to sit. As they’re a bit older, not so much I think I must have looked a bit put out once, but haven’t seen them since last Christmas.
It’s hard not to be upset.
Actually, I am jealous ?

Love it Granny23 the boy is a real diplomat.