Never thought this sort of thing would bother me - but grandchild prefers other Nan to me.

B9exchange

I think children naturally gravitate towards their mother's mother rather than their father's mother, not sure if that applies in your case. But as others have said it is just a phase. Remember how hurtful it was when your baby didn't want to go to your husband, they grow out of it!

UGH says the mother of 5 sons. Not yet a grand but this is a real fear for me.

Some children are in the unfortunate position of having no grandparents, others have anything from 1 to 8 depending on whether there have been divorces etc along the way!
Some grandparents have grandchildren they never get the chance to meet.
If you think of something like two places you've been on holiday that you really liked. One might be your favourite, but you would not have wanted to miss the experience of your second favourite. You might even choose it over the other for a future holiday due to some relatively minor issue, such as the number of steps each has to reach the beach!
Your granchild's life has been enriched by having both grannies. She may have a preference for the other granny just now due to the cake she had last time she went or the colour of the wallpaper or whatever.
It's not a competition, and even if her preference goes deeper, view it as a privilege to be there for your GD, to enhance and influence her life and be one of the adults she knows love her and are there for her no matter what.

If it’s any consolation I am the only grandmother all of my grandchildren have but they don’t seem to be bothered if I’m in their life or not. I often wonder what it would be like if there were other grandmothers around.

i agree with Mamo above.
it's a mistake to put too much emotional expectation on to young children. i don't think it is fair on them.
they are living their own lives.

My two and a half year old GS lives the other side of the world. When I’m on FaceTime, after a short while he waves goodbye and switches off. Doesn’t bode well for a meeting! ?

I don’t think lots of small children realize the meaning of the word favourite, other than it’s a compliment. So they call both grannys their favourite. I call my grandson my favourite grandson, and he repays the compliment..... it doesn’t occur to him that it’s a joke as he’s my only grandson!

You should, indeed, be glad that your GD has access to both sets of GPs. My 3 year old GD in Australia has one set of GP in Peru, who don’t speak English, so miss out a great deal. I’m her English Grandma, also a long way off. I often chat to her, and read her bedtime stories via the internet. We have a great relationship, but it’s not the same as a hands-on cuddly one.
My baby GS also lives in Oz, and I’m doing my best to build up a relationship with him online, until I can get over there to see him’in the flesh’. Luckily his other GPs live just down the road, and see him often. I have a great relationship with them, and my DIL, and try not to be jealous.
My other GS, who is 18, is stranded over there, too. He stayed for a while with his (divorced) Dad, after our visit last Christmas, and can’t get back yet, because of Covid. I won’t be seeing him for a while, either, and neither will his Mum and sister.
So, be glad that you can spend lots of time with your GD. As others have said, children are fickle and change with the wind.

This could possibly have something do to with the activities for nvolved when your GD visits. When mine come to visit I always set aside that time for playing, crafting, painting, bug hunting in the garden, etc. Other GM isn't quite so proactive, hence they prefer to come to me but that's not always possible or fair. Try to determine what you GD wants to do during her time with you, maybe she will settle better.

Please try not to worry it’s what children often say. My 4 year old granddaughter often tells me I’m her favourite and no doubt says same to her other nanni. She also says same between mother and father. She is a little darling but always think it’s worth part of her childish manipulation/control. Best just to enjoy them.

I'm the other way round. My dgs likes me best. I'm the paternal grandmother. I just think we've got a natural bond. Luckily there is a little dgd and she gravitates towards the other grandmother, probably because of the closeness between her brother and me.

Awww - plenty of good advice form everyone. Mine once told me she hated me but loved other granny. I just said maybe tomorrow you will like me again. Stung though !

my younger brother always said he preferred our Mums Mum and our Mum used to go mad that that was unkind. It finally came out that the reason he said that was because she had a dog and our other Nan didn't. ( we weren't allowed one either)
So it is not always apparent what they are basing their apparent bias.

I know my grandchildren prefer / love their or grandparent more , but I am perfectly ok with that.
I do not live near my grandchildren , and their other one picks them up from school on the days my daughter works, and is able to have them in holidays.

Kandinsky, I feel your pain. I have suffered with this problem for year with my gd. She is my dd's daughter but it has always been obvious that she prefers her Dad's Mum. Other GM lives a couple of hundred miles away whereas I live up the road and have regularly provided childcare (on a weekly basis). I put it down to the difference being that other grandparents have more quality time as they go and stay with them and they are always going out for treats. They also go on holiday with them whereas I deal with day to day stuff. When my gd was about five she actually showed me an Easter present that she had made for Grandma. I was thrilled and then she told me it was for other Grandma not me. It has got much better over the years (gd is now nine) and I have accepted it. The arrival of a second gd who seems to love me to bit and can't cuddle me enough has helped. Also interesting that the second gd is much more like me and my dd in temperament and the older grand-daughter is very much like her Dad. Kandinsky, it's really no reflection on you, so please don't let it get to you. Easier said than done, I know.

I wonder if other granny lets her get away with everything, whereas you teach her right from wrong.

I think it is the same for Grans/Granddads sometimes,I am more drawn to my Sons Children, although I would never show it.They get the same type of presents at Birthdays and Christmases and we meet more or less as often.Its how we are I suppose.

My grand daughter is 9 and has always spent more time with her other nanny than me, as she lived nearer and is my DIL's mum. My late partner always felt that we were being pushed out as my son and DIL go on holiday with her mum and stepdad, so they got time to spend holidays with her too. In lockdown my GD is in a bubble with her other nanny too, so I havent seen her since August except a couple of zoom calls. I have to be honest and say I have far more in common with my 17 year old grandson than my grand daughter.

My grandson -aged 4- has always called me his “silly Gran” , which I liked....now due to COVID curves he calls me “enormous Gran”...after the enormous turnip story...not liking this new title I have been motivated , at last to shed the excess pounds...
I play second best to his grandpa...he is defo his favourite...

I agree with Jaxjacky.
It`s all about getting a reaction,next time she says it tell her that she has hurt your heart and watch her reaction.
My friends gd said the same and did as i suggested,never said it again.

Times and feelings change- keep going as you are

Definitely don't compete. Just be real. We all have preferred people don't we? And eventually they learn diplomacy and manners so we notice the preferences of others a bit less. It seems that some parents are a bit slow to teach that though.

I had to tread carefully with my Mum once I had children, she was very jealous of my mum in law and it was a balancing act a lot of the time. Luckily my children didn't have a 'favourite' Gran, they loved and were loved back by both equally. Sadly they didn't get to know their either Grandfather as both died when my children were still babies, not sure if that made a difference to how they got along with their Grans. I only knew my maternal Grandmother, my paternal Gran died in 1938, many years before I was born and my paternal grandfather died when I was a few months old. My maternal GF had left my Gran some years previously and my Mum had no contact with him afterwards (she was almost 20 when he left them).

My 4 year old GD is exactly the same. Her other grandparents were very involved because they're local and very close to my DIL. I really did expect this though because my own children spent far more time with my parents than with my MIL.

I feel embarrassed for my son when he's face timing me, calls out to GD to come and say Hello to grandma & she can't be bothered!
Luckily her younger brother loves face time. Dare I say he's now my favourite ?????

The subject probably deserves its own thread/discussion, the psychology behind the haves and the have nots and how some people gravitate towards "the haves" and others "the have nots" rather than interrupting the pattern and treating people as equals-

We have looked after our great grandson once or twice a week since he was 3 months old. when he was a baby he preferred me, he preferred me up until he was about 18 months old then he decided my husband was the most wonderful creature on the planet. he is now almost 3 and it is all Papa this and Papa that and I am just there. he will say no Mama I want Papa, the first thing he says when he walks through our door is Where Papa?
you cant let these things upset you, children go through stages and sometimes the stages last a while. I am sure you know that your granddaughter loves you and it may not be the other nanny she is wanting but nannys house where there maybe something she particularly likes at this time.