The Argy Bargy Bar...the lease has been secured!

I have been looking high and low for that chastity belt, it gives lockdown a whole new conotation. Yes, what's the prize Doodle?
Whose behind the bar tonight? I'll have a brandy and babycham.

It is tonite! It’s happening right now, get that cow pie back again!
We can still do bingo, in fact I start calling in a few mins as soon as this poteen has gone down the hatch, glug glug.
Right.....
Eyes down!
All the 3’s 33, two fat ladies 88 ( coincidentally two fat ladies are approaching just now) Ah! It’s Doodle and Ixion dressed to kill.....they have a pitchfork each?

Welcome back Lins long time no see.....how was HMP Darkly Dun?
Help yourself to a snifter, we are short of bar staff.

Let out for good behaviour, I got on splendidly with the the deputy governor
Eyes ? down looking

Ouch these bales are a bit prickly to sit on. I sent out with a Young Farmer many moons ago, he had a green mini.
I helped myself to some poteen lemon, only a half mind, I've forgotten how strong it is. Have to watch my delicate stomach.

Two little ducks 22 , all on it’s own, number 1, ...did I hear House?! Ah well done Lisagran you have won half the takings for the night, come and see me tomorrow when I have swindled, I mean sorted, the cash.
There’ll be a raffle after supper, be sure to buy your tickets soon folks, top prize a luxury food hamper! What’s that you say AGA ? ( you really must get your dentures fixed, and the hearing aid) I said FOOD HAMPER not flu damper.

You mean you put out ( to the young farmer) not sent out, although I am sorry to hear about his affliction, and it was green you say??

I’m up for karaoke now, my fans are demanding it, here I go with a belter......and Iiiiiiiiii will allllwayyys lovvvve ewe....

Shove off lemon it’s my turn at the karaoke. I am a cider drinker, I drinks it all of the day, oh arh oh arh eh.
That’s catchy, perhaps we could adapt it to our theme tune but make it a poteen drinker.
Stand back I feel a chorus or two of I’ve got a brand new combine arvester coming on.
By the way Laura that chap at the bar with the Young farmer of the year rosette is mine right ?

You say put out, I say sent out - lets call the whole thing off.
Yes it was green lemon well we were very young. Lovely voice - join me in a rendition of ? One Man Went To Mow?

I have some nice chocolate dipped stoat droppings on sticks, anyone??

?went to mow a meadow

Doodle put your glasses on, that’s a prize porker with a rosette sitting on a bar stool, some Farmer Giles sort brought it in, apparently it doesn’t like being left at home on it’s own.
You may have pulled, there!?

Three men, two men one man and his dog went to mow a meadow....
Take over someone

I’ve seen worse lemon (like the bloke you were with last week). I think I may join porky for a drink anyway.
Laura yes a couple of stoat droppings for me please, I am a bit peckish.
Lins it was half a gallon of poteen you wanted, wasn’t it. ?

Seven men, six men, five men, four men..............
Good lord Doodle save some for the rest of us

No Doodle not the dog please

We only eat stoat here.....or droppings anyway, although we did once casserole our little ferret friend when he trip trapped over the rainbow bridge a few years ago ( hard times!)

Stop all the mowing caterwauling now, it’s time for the grand draw, just put all these numbers in the old hat.....rustle rustle.
Right we have three prizes tonight, and the first one is......
Number 72! Who’s got it?

Er, me.....

Ah, we have a winner! Step up here and take your prize!
Yes, it’s a voucher for a week’s free poteen, how about that?!✨
Off you go....
Next up, it’s number....45, who’s got it?

Morning girls.....we were cut off in our prime last night.....what happened? Did I forget to pay the electric bill again??
Thought I would pop in for an early and to say that whoever has number 45 has won a genuine 1950’s plastic fly swat and a roll of sticky fly paper! Guaranteed to have a fly free Summer eh?
We will ‘roll’ the undrawn first prize ( food hamper) over to next Friday.Hope the food that Laura lovingly prepared will last that long.If it doesn’t.....we will eat it ourselves this week and make a night with Thor first prize ( can’t say fairer than that.)

Congrats again to Laura winning on the bingo, if you come to my office today ( scullery) I shall formally present you with half of the night’s takings.....17/6d! Take your time to come to terms with such riches, don’t let it go to your head.

There is hot coffee brewing and a plate of donuts on the bar for all ......help yourselves, am off to see Rich Reggie, his yacht
Is moored close by.?

Wow 17/6d, thank you Lemon, I might buy a fondue set. We could have Tyrolean night next Friday, all the men in lederhosen could be fun.