Will I ever be able to just think of me?

If son has lived independently until bloody Covid came along then he should be able to sort himself out in the coming months & his financial difficulties may only be temporary , even being able to eventually pay back any monies given to him by mum. Daughter is still dependent on living at home. It costs a lot to live independently & if her income is low may not be able to afford to move out but ought to be contributing to the household expenses.
I agree that if OP wants to retire, or reduce work commitments, then giving a 3-6 month warning gives ACs time to sort their finances out. That seems reasonable and fair to all concerned.

The downside also Skysearcher is that the ACs will end up with it.

Time to cut them off and live your life the way you want to OP and if you want to retire then do it,

Skysearcher - you do realise that you can apply for your pension AND still work, don't you? The total of your paid employment and your pension will be taken into account by the Inland Revenue and you will be taxed on any amount that exceeds the allowable income. The downside of this is that when you do stop working your income will drop to just the amount of pension

Forgive me but where do you see this situation ending? When you fall over? Where is your son or your daughter's incentive to change anything whilst you're bailing them out? I know it's hard not to rush in to help but in doing so we often disable our children's confidence in their own ability to handle life. Of course, we don't know the stories behind all this but at 66 I'm afraid it's time to put you and your own health first. You need to give them a deadline as others have suggested - say 3 or 6 months maximum. Say that you've given your notice (even if you haven't - you need to make it a firm deadline not a negotiable one). Then sit down with them and ask how the 3 of you are going to manage financially? Ask them to investigate what benefits they can get, for example. Make them part of the solution. You never know - they may just surprise you!

My friend is the same age and has income problems as well as health issues although she isn’t supporting anyone financially. She recently spoke to her manager and has made an arrangement to work 3 days a week. This will give her some time to rest but she will still have some salary to rely on. She sees this as a first step towards retirement. Maybe a compromise of this kind would help?

Speak to your children and give them three months leeway,after that you will be living on your OAP and not able to help them.

They are adults and should take resonsiblity for themselves, if if that means social security. Your daughter needs to be asked to move out within the coming three months.

It must be very hurtful when you hear friends talking about their children and probably grandchildren Unless there are serous health issues any adult child who is still depending on their parents to support them should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves. We love our children, we bring them up as well as we can and do our best to give them a good start in life - and then they should be able to stand on their own two feet

It will not be easy, but the time is long past when you have to think of yourself. Just do it!

Without sounding rude, as you are 66 the likelihood is that your son and daughter are in, at least, their late 30s, and should be supporting themselves. You can’t carry on working just for them when you’ve got to keep yourself.

Perhaps what they need is a push into reality.

Just to add Skysearcher36...you have done a good job all round and done it well. xxxx

Hi Skysearcher36 You do not say if their other Parent is involved in their life? You cannot take this on alone...your health has to be prioritised. God forbid what would your Adult Children do if you were not around?? Difficult as it is for you...it is time for your Son & Daughter to stand on their own two feet...that is life. You are doing them no favours financially supporting them if they are Adult age. I do feel for your son and the furlough situation...it is not fair he is in this situation and wants to work...but sometimes life is not fair. He can claim benefits and I know that takes a while to be paid out. If you are supporting him financially until he receives his benefit then I can understand that. You must now start to prioritise yourself and your health and let your son & daughter stand on their own two feet.

Two adult children living with you-I can only endorse what others have said. Tell them that you’re leaving work and retiring-on a state pension. Don’t make excuses for them. They’re adults and can sort out their own lives...it might be the making of them. It could also be the making of you, to finally shed responsibilities that are only appropriate for bringing up children.

How about all three of you sitting down together and you saying " I have something serious to tell you both". First they will think you are ill, so you will get their attention, then when they realize that you are not dying they will be so relieved that they will be amenable to listening and that you are asking for them both to help you find a solution. You have had enough, you have worked hard and if it means pooling your weekly allowances for the three of you, paying the bills and then sharing anything that might be over, that could be the solution. It time for a grown up conversation.
We sometimes enable our grown up children to remain children by not giving them any reality lessons about how society works. It is actually cruel and unkind. One day they ay have to manage without you, they need to learn this skills to cope with life.

Carry on the way you are and 'the end to all this' will find you.

It's definitely time these two stood on their own two feet! Why are you financially supporting your daughter? If she is ill shouldn't she be getting benefits from the state?
My nephew lost his job at the start of Lockdown, he eventually got a job at Amazon (I have to admit it, he didn't enjoy it, but needs must. Meanwhile he applied for other jobs, and starts a new job on Monday!!

Adult children need to financially support themselves.

You deserve retirement. How would they cope if work killed you? Most of us get to a point in life, particularly when we have a physically demanding job like yours, when our bodies say enough is enough. You've reached that point. Sit your children down and tell them you can't go on anymore. If they care about you, they will pull out all the stops to sort themselves out financially.

Come on Skysearcher, let's have a reply from you.

Tough love is needed here, you mention health issues, so what happens if this deteriorates ? I agree with others, give both a time scale to sort themselves out and stick to it. You are enabling them to be reliant on you the longer it continues.... now is the time for you to be a bit selfish !

I can only go by what we did, when DD knew he was going to retire this year we told the ACs Back in January that it would mean an end to the ‘bank of Dad’ .
It gave them 6 months to sort out their finances.

Of course if there is an emergency they know that they can come to us, but they will need to Actually prove that they need our help, whereas in the past we would give them the money.

I think Skysearcher that you have done your bit and unless your ACs are ill and unable to work, it’s time for you to look after yourself for a change.

If you became too ill to work they would have to do it wouldnt they?

Sorry, welbeck, you asked about the daughter.

What does problems getting furloughed mean, please?

And why is your daughter still dependent? Is she young?

I agree with the others. Giving them some notice that you intend to retire and will be on a tight budget so will no longer be able to help them out as much as you have been.

I hope it works out for you.

If your son has money troubles because of covid he should apply for universal credit. I know it's hard, I helped out my son and his wife for the same reason but I just bought all their food on my credit card so I can pay it back in chunks as and when. You don't say why you're also supporting your daughter, isn't it enough that your housing her? She should be paying you whatever the reason she's living with you surely she has some form of income.

You need to sit down and tell them that financial support is going to end, basically tell them what you have written in your post. Then stop. Time to look after yourself. No doubt there will be gnashing of teeth but they are grown up and life is difficult.

why are you financially supporting yr daughter.