The Old Argy Bargy Bar.....a new lease of life!

It’s only 7.55 and I can hardly stand up! The Guinness is flowing ( mainly down my throat) and the crowd are going wild for my version of Danny Boy ( he drinks a whisky drink,he drinks a lager drink etc) I get knocked down but I get up again.....the story of my life.
Am going to sink into that glittery golden chair over there for a bit, funny though I don’t remember buying that?
By all that’s holy!! It’s not a chair it’s ......Chewbacca

Ah I will I will I will. Dat I will. I’m oiling my clogs for the Riverdance lemon . I’m just practicing out the back now. Tap,tap, tap, tap, tap, tap......I’m not annoying you am I lemon? ?

Yes, but it’s ok as am sure your performance will be worth it!
Am standing by to record it for ‘You’ve Been Framed’ ?

What do you mean You’ve been framed. I would hope you meant Sunday night at the London Palladium. I could have been a Tiller girl you know ?‍♂️

You could be a girl at the till....if you moved behind the bar and gave Thor a hand ( but no pinching his bum.)

Spoil sport ?. Ok I’ll go behind the till. By the way that punter I knocked out with one of my high kicks is still on the floor. I didn’t actually kick him he just looked up my skirt and fell off his stool in shock. ?

I've popped in for an Irish coffee or three, thanks lemongrove, I'm not Irish but they let me in as I am a Celt and spent a long weekend in Cork. Doodle will pay, she's already by the till.
I don't know about oiling her clogs she looks like she's popped them.

Humpf. That ok lins you just walk over me. You could help me up. I fell off the bar during the finale of Riverdance and I’ve been lying here ever since waiting for someone to help me up. ?

Found you and I take credit for rescuing you *Doodle,what a fine state of affairs I find,one thing enjoying some Riverdance but you are meant to be wearing clogs and clothes!!

Mind you I can forget a lot of things once the drinks start flowing!

Perhaps I should opt for an Irish Coffee being I too am a Celt but a Prosecco with a straw would be far more my style!
I will not allow Lins steal the whole show,despite coming dressed to kill1

Fancy meeting you here Lemongrove I expected better things from you too!

Oh hello panache. Thank you for helping me up. I’m not sure what happened to my stage outfit.
lemon is the proprietress of this er fine establishment. We have a number of very handsome bar staff but they keep running away going missing for some reason.
I’m afraid this is not a particularly respectable place, you may need to avert your eyes on occasion. We usually have some pork scratchings and haggis on the bar but our resident cook soop had an unfortunate knicker experience and shot off into outer space. She’s not been quite the same since. Please do dust off a seat and I’ll bring you a drink. Whatever you do don’t touch lemon’s poteen it’s lethal. ?

Welcome to Dream and nice to see you again Lins, have you been on a long holiday in OZ ( following that handsome cricket team that used to be in here all the time ) ?
Put your feet up and tell us a tale, but mind you buy something as well ( no homemade picnics allowed in here.)
Once the sun is over the yard arm we like to have a drinkie in hand....often in both hands ??

I be back. Knicker elastic restored. Looking for the fireman I was promised. Found his helmet loitering in the snug. Own up...who has taken him somewhere out of harm's way? I have my suspicions...

Envy is unpleasant Doodle ...just admit that my poteen making skills are superior to yours.My poteen is the talk of the town ( once they are out of hospital) in fact the Admiral is proud that he once went blind for a week after a long session in The Argy.?

Soop ! Me old mucker, back from outer space with no ill effects? Your hair looks a bit on the wild side though.
Have a drink? Then we need you to do some fast baking for the evening crowd.....go and herd up a few haggis?

soop welcome back. Did you have to be quarantined after your space visit? I just put the fireman somewhere safe to keep him out of harms way. Not let me see......where did I chain him up put him for safe keeping??

Doodle you know you are not old enough to be imbibing here. This dive is for grown ups. If you are late tomorrow there will be hell to pay. I am definitely informing your parents this time.

Some of us need a decent night's sleep.

Fret not gals those firemen left in a hurry `cause they had a better offer!! Our establishment sprung a fire when a 92 year old dear forgot where she had put her ciggie..............and the darn chair burst into flames,last I saw was a burly fire fighter carrying her off in the sunset...............she was wearing a very big grin!

He was giving her a fireman’s lift so I’m not sure if that was a grin or not, didn’t have my specs on!

The cricketers are still in my boudoir care lemon and I'm not letting them out ?
They've nearly quaffed the last of the grog you sent so 'can they have s'more pleeease?'

Honest to goodness, I cannot for the life of me understand why I, a lady of grace and well-bred-ness, finds visits to this dive almost enjoyable.

Ah! Dear soop is 92 you say? Everything makes sense now!
All the cooking and baking disasters etc.?

Carillion more of the amber nectar on the way!

Only almost enjoyable soop....away with you, it’s the highlight of your day to pop in here and ogle the talent.

Great to see many of our old regulars in here, even Jason the Alsatian asleep in front of the log fire and the Admiral asleep
On an old comfy regular ( not saying which one)?

Charleygirl I think you must be mistaken . School gurl Doodle certainly wouldn’t come to a place like this she is far too young. I am actually her much older sister DunuplikeadogsdinnerDoodle I don’t think we’ve met before ?
Carillion Nice to see you back again. No need to bring the cricketers back. If you’ve had them that long I doubt they’d be much use to anyone else anyway. ?
meno .
soop the lengths you’ll go to so you can get your hands on those firemen. I’ve lost count of the number of times they’ve been here recently. It comes to something when you’ve got the local station on speed dial. ?
lemon do you think you could help get the Admiral off me please. He has a rather unpleasant odour. I think he’s been at soop’s haggis again. ?

Good to see you Carillion however you may THINK you have all the cricketers, but I've nicked the Twelfth Man ?
We had a session in the nets and he showed me his corker yorker, thirsty work this, some Amber nectar needed here lemon or grog as they say in Oz.
Doodle so that's where the Admiral went, just hose him down he'll dry in the sun.
Nice big knickers soop, like a ship in full sail - just don't let the Admiral anywhere near.

Lins, if the twelfth man tells you his name is Big Bruce from Oz be afraid, be very afraid...he betrothed his troth to lemongrove last year and .... he said he'd be back!! ??
Mind you, he used to say the same to Doodle...