Might this be allowed?

Nfkdumpling

If anybody in OP's DD'S household gets coronavirus, likely OP got it too AND SHE CANNOT GO BACK TO HER OWN HOME.

What is so hard to understand?

No.
Do you want to go? Sure
Is it safe to go? No

Son in law is a weak link and your dd's family has NOT being in isolation.

We are ALL at risk, no matter what age we are, preexisting conditions, etc.

How many more threads are going to be open with these "might" scenarios?
I swear it is worse than dealing with little kids.
Little children still listen to their parents and follow directions better than some posters here

I'd go. You have a very close family and it would save them worrying about you. You can always come home to self-isolate if one of them gets 'it'.

Personally, I would rather be in my own home, but you've had a tough time Lucky and only you can make the decision. Go with your gut. Xx

Just go and do not agonise about it.

Given your recent tragic loss, no-one would say you should do anything else.

With any rules you need to know when to ignore and flex them and this is one of those situations where you flex them.

Only you will know what’s right I have a daughter shopping for me but she doesn’t come near me leaves the shopping on the doorstep and backs off down to the pavement
I guess the weak link is the son in law continuing his shopping trips but then you must weigh up if your mental health and comfort is worth the slight risk and he can take precautions when he gets home from shopping washing/showering changing clothes etc

Me too.

Weighing up the pros and cons and knowing what a difficult time you have had recently, I would go Luckygirl. You can self isolate for the first week as others have said. Given your family's life style it doesn't seem as if the risk would be great anyway.
Go and join your family and don't worry about it. Stay safe all of you.

I'm in the 'just go for it' camp too

I’ve done just that and am staying with my daughter and her children. It makes it so much easier to stick to the routine and lovely to have company.

Just go for it.

As long as you take everything that’s been said into consideration and want to go then I think you should go. There are times when we need the comfort of our close family for our emotional and mental wellbeing. This being one of them. You’ve had such an awful tough time of it.

If it was me I would go, these are exceptional circumstances as well as the added sorrow of your recent bereavement. You will need it for your mental health, as well as for practical reasons. You also seem OK with the idea so why not?

I think my SonIL would continue to shop at the supermarket as he finds it hard not to go out at all

I think the risk is of them passing on the virus to you and not the other way around, Luckygirl

I can't see any problem with you going; as long as the shopping is delivered, I would go for it. You have shared your house with them before, and there were no problems, you obviously get on well together.

If both yourself and your family have stayed at home for the last fourteen days, no shopping trips etc then it should be safe and possible for you to change households. Obviously you will have considered whether or not you would have your own room, I wouldn’t recommend you go if not, the bathroom and kitchen arrangements, provision of food, and whether anyone in the household is a key worker. Remember it may well be for a considerable time and you may miss your independence. If you feel you can cope with all that and that you will benefit by going, then go.

It is a difficult decision. I think my SonIL would continue to shop at the supermarket as he finds it hard not to go out at all - and clearly I could not interfere with that.

Apart from the fact of having company there, I would also be able to exercise in the large meadow at the back of their home; and sit by one of the lovely ponds. It would be a lovely environment to be in.

I do not think there is any risk of me giving them the virus as I am not unwell and have had 3 weeks of self-isolating.

Decisions, decisions!

I wonder of there is some sort of help line you could ring for advice?

It seems to me that you won't be taking any chance of infection to them and they pose little threat to you, especially if they have food delivered in future.

It may not strictly be what the rules say, but you won't be a danger to anyone if you then stay put.

Luckygirl as long as you are joining their household for the duration and (a) they have been strict (and continue to be so) about social distancing and (b) no one in the new combined household is in the vulnerable category then I think you should go. I see no need for you to wait 14 days, assuming no one is showing coronavirus symptoms. For you, at this particular time, I think it would be extremely beneficial

Our DD and GC came to us on "lockdown day" she had been extremely careful for the preceding 7 days, but had to shop for baby formula nappies etc. In your shoes I would go.

Would you be able to transfer your food deliveries to your DD's address, Luckygirl?

This would be beneficial to all of you because it would mean your SiL not having to go to the supermarket for supplies.

The duration of the lockdown? Luckygirl...just remember nobody knows how long this is likely to be. Am not saying don't go but will you have your own room at your daughters? Living in someone else's house sometimes proves difficult, no matter how much you love them. I wouldn't like it to be honest. I think I just like my own bed, my own t.v. being able to choose what I want and not what anyone else wants?

Only you know how you would feel about abandoning your own home for what could be months? Or maybe not if you decide to go home in a couple of weeks. Who would actually know? Just don't go out and about in the meantime.

Good luck. Stay safe.

If they would agree to total isolation (with grocery deliveries, SIL not going out) and if they totally isolated for 14 days BEFORE you go, it should be ok.

I am not concerned about relationships breaking down - we have often holidayed together amicably and we took them in for several months when they had a house fire, and that worked well.

I hear what you are saying NotTooOld and I agree on my good days; but the weepy heap days are really not good at all.

No-one is going out to work - they run their own business from home.