Time for another great Gransnet story!

After a few moments of deep thought the wish was obvious, I want nothing more than eternal wisdom so all people will stand in awe of me. I shall rule!

It wriggled slightly, unfurled and lay in my hand looking up at me. 'I am a genie,' the tiny shiny creature said. 'I can grant one small wish. What will it be?'

So I grabbed my metal detector and went on my way. I wandered so many fields and clambered awkwardly over many hedges and almost gave up when suddenly the detector startled me. I looked down and caught a glint of something small and shiny peeking through the grass. I bent down slowly and took the shining item in my hand

do a bit of prospecting, hoping to find the five gold rings.

Seven 7 swans were swimming and 6 geese where laying. I think I'll just....

A partridge in a pear tree. 'Strewth,' he said. 'I haven't seen one of those since that time when...'

"Authentic aborigine dot paintings? You can have one for a hundred dollars, or in exchange for ......"

Bowled him over into a heap of horse poo, which unfortunately clogged up his didgeridoo. Our hero, smitten by a sudden remorse, helped him up and cleaned him down with the wilted cabbage and said "Have you seen my..."

The man, for such it was, uttered a chilling phrase: "Gidday cobber, yer bog rolls or your life", all the while brandishing a wilted cabbage in one hand, and a vegemite sandwich in the other. Our hero, in one mighty leap,

gang of bushrangers, led by a strange figure, head encased in a discarded baked-bean tin.

calendergirl

boiled, but the dreaded Moderators were watching also and Rufus2 was quickly surrounded by a

boiled over, and scalded his didgeridoo.

bobbing his corks. For he once was a jolly swagman camped by a billa bong under the shade of a coolibah tree. So he sang as he watched and he waited till his billy..

It was her pin up photo of Rufus2 the Gransnet heartthrob. 'Just look at him' she drawled, 'He's just so lovely and Australian. Look at the way he's...'

Her curiosity piqued, the lovely young maiden went over to her, only, oh horror of horrors.....

and spending the last few years carousing in the Gransnet bars hadn't helped. "Come over here my dear," she cried sweetly "I have something to show you."

Jealous of the lovely young maiden. She too had once been young and beautiful, but the passage of time had been cruel.

I must improve my bust. For the troll was a woman, and even better than that a Gran! She felt so...

where the wild bears roam, there lived a troll (full de roll) in a deep dark dank cave in the cliff face soaring above the tree tops. As soon as he heard the lovely maiden running through the undergrowth - "oh damn" she cried "I've snagged my tights and I'm so far from a shop And will they be open anyway" - he slowly raised his nose and sniffed the air. Hmmmm, now that smells like a tasty maiden, I must.....

went down on one knee but before he could speak and ask for her hand she gave a sudden cry and skipped off into the forest calling "Wait for me!" leaving him stuck. Deep in the forest

Had never tasted anything so delicious as her pink lady.
In fact, dear reader, he decided he must marry her there and then..
So, he....

"Just a little nibble then Walt honey but not before you tell me if theres a sequel to this tale" "Never" said Walt "our children will never be exploited by Disney we are too moral for that"so she gave him a nibble on her apple and Walt...

spike, I mean spice these apples that have just been delivered to me from M&S". "Oh, you're a connoisseur" said Walt, sounding rather impressed. "I'd love to try some when you've spiced them". Putting on her coyest and most seductive face she looked toward him and said ...

She had reached the castle gates when a man sauntered up to her casually and said, "Hey babe wanna be in the movies? My name's Walt Disney, but you can call me Walt." She turned sharply to shout at him "Don't you know who I am? I'm far too busy to talk to you, I've got to.....