A little bit of doggerel

These are just amazing! You're such a clever lot.

Being fair, you'd think I'd learned
By now that I am easy burned!
But in the sea and in hot sun
I was too busy having fun
I swam and lazed, alas quite dazed
To reddening skin.

No matter, aloe vera spray
From my cupboard, saved the day.

What a happy time we had
All was good, not one thing bad
Food and friends where all was sunny
I found dog paddle very funny.

Oh Lemongrove I know Cornwallis Beach. How I wish I still lived in NZ now. Best wishes to you.

These are excellent and such a boost. Thanks to all contributors. Wonderful!

*Juliet27, I love that.

When I was in my younger years.
I weighed a few pounds less,
I needn’t hold my tummy in to wear a belted dress.
But now that I am older I have set my body free:
There’s the comfort of elastic
Where once my waist would be.
Inventor of those high-heeled shoes
My feet have not forgiven;
I have to wear a nine now but used to wear seven.
And how about those panty-hose –
They’re sized by weight, you see,
So how come when I put them on
The crotch is at my knee?
I need to wear these glasses
As the print’s been getting smaller;
And it wasn’t very long ago I know that I was taller.
Though my hair has turned to grey
And my skin no longer fits,
On the inside, I’m the same old me,
It’s the outside’s changed a bit.

I went on a diet the other day
- bananas and coconuts, if you please.
The fat's not exactly melting away
But I'm ever so good now at climbing trees.

When you've eaten too many rich desserts
and your clothes don't fit as they should,
how strange it's your conscience that always hurts
when the rest of you feels so good.

To aim for a perfect slim body is hard
A trap in which many are hopelessly caught.
It's easier to think in a relative way:
I'm not overweight, I'm six inches too short!

Dear Lord,
So far today I've done all right.
I haven't gossiped,
haven't lost my temper,
haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent.
I'm really glad about that.

But in a few minutes, God,
I'm going to get out of bed.
And from then on,
I'm going to need a lot more help.

I've hunted near, I've hunted far
I even looked inside my car.
I've lost my glasses, I'm in need,
To have them now so I can read.
I loudly swear and I curse
Did I leave them in my purse?
Are they behind the sofa, under the bed?
Oh there they are - on my head!

I love this one it reminds me of the time when I'd forgotten my sunglasses so OH lent me his. We went for a stroll along the beach and when I returned to the car I realised that I was wearing his glasses and had my own on my head! And he didn't even notice either.

Early to bed's a golden rule
I'm an ageing sleepy head.
Folk ring me at nine p.m. and say:
Did I get you out of bed?

I bought some bathroom scales last week
the sort that speak your weight.
I thought it would be fun to hear:
You're only nine stone eight.
But I'd not realised my weight
was far too high - don't scoff.
The scales refused to even try
- they simply screamed "get off!".

Ah, the joys of getting older.

I wish I had a husband
Anyone will do
The when I take the dog out
He can pick up all the poo!

If we want a happy ending, it depends where we stop the story.

Love many, trust a few
But always paddle your own canoe.

From quiet homes and first beginning
Out to the undiscovered ends,
There's nothing worth the wear of winning,
But laughter, and the love of friends.

When the world looks big and you feel small
And you don't seem to have any friends at all,
Keep going and paddle your own canoe,
That is the only thing to do,
And though the river is deep and wide
In the end you'll get to the other side.

Loving all these, more please.

lemongrove I bet you like Dorothy Parker

I've been invited to the beach
It sounds quite nice, 10 mins to reach
We'll buy our food en route it seems
Fresh bread, tomatoes and ice creams

It's high tide, so I'll take my cozzie
And hope we get a shady pozzie
You may wonder where this all is
Local place, it's called Cornwallis.

The home of patu-paia-rehe
That's the Maori word for 'fairy'
Secret folk with golden hair
I should love to see them there
But they come out in the dark
To laugh and skip and have a lark
Their skin's like moonlight and, most dire
It's said they are afraid of fire.
There's more to learn and if you think
You'd like to, please click on this link

teara.govt.nz/en/patupaiarehe

Most of life is froth and bubble
Two things stand like stone
Kindness in another's trouble
Courage in your own.

40 was a time of exploring
50 was a time of learning
60 was a time of emerging
70 was a time of slowing
80 is a time of not recalling what I was knowing!

On a hill there stood a coo
But it must have deid, for it’s not there noo

At 4 I ran in and out the door,
At 11 believed in hell and heaven,
At 21 I knew I’d met ‘the one’
At 30 was becoming rather shirty
At 40 was becoming rather portly
At 50 was definitely not so nifty
At 65 at least was still alive
At 70 was feeling kind of empty
At 83 I hardly looked like me
At 91 I started having fun.
?

Alive and seventy five,
I plod my way through
A dull grey day
☹️

Loving these!

‘Deck your legs in jeans my love,
Yours are the limbs, my sweeting
You look divine as you advance,
Have you seen yourself retreating?!’
?

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