Children or best friends

Agree with your view too Jane. Yes, you can do things together as a family too. For me though, I see some strange parent/child relationships.

My children are adults and set their own boundaries, I stopped set boundaries for them a very long time ago. I think some parents have very strange relationships with their adult children, setting boundaries and pussy footing around them in case they kick off. I'm just glad I have my kids and not other peoples. We don't have any boundaries, we talk about anything and everything and we never kick off cos we're all adults.

Fiachna I’m sorry but I couldn’t disagree more with your post.
I think a lot of difficulties are caused by parents continuing to treat their offspring like small children, trying to control their lives, giving unsolicited advice and generally not respecting boundaries.

I’ve never been out clubbing with my children, but that’s because I’ve never been out clubbing.

But when they were younger, we belonged to a sailing club that other families, as well as single people, belonged to. One of the good things about it was the mix of ages and how everyone socialised together without artificial age divisions.

My sons are my friends and equals. They are middle-aged dads themselves now and I hope they can have as good a relationship with their children as I have with them. My eldest GD, now 28 is also a friend.

You choose your friends; you do not choose your children or the adults they will become. I love my adult children to bits - they are fine people - and I know that they love me, but knowing them as I do, I certainly wouldn’t choose then as friends!

I think its perfectly possible to be friends with an adult child.
That doesn't mean going out raving together, or not having boundaries, though.

I think its probably easier to have boundaries as an equal, grown up person, than it is if you continue to treat them like children who need "gently" talking to and pussyfooting around.

It is quite possible for an adult child to have their own circle of
friends and the parent to have their own circle of friends and
the adult child and parent to have a close friendship.

Setting boundaries for a daughter in her 30’s and 40’s ! sorry
but that’s silly.

Sadly, I think many difficulties are caused nowadays by parents wanting to be their child's friend and not their parent. It doesn't work. I see some Mums and Dads away out clubbing with their adult children. I don't think thats healthy. Children whether young or adult need their own friends. They need to learn to navigate their own friendships and relationships.

My son and daughter are 34 and 32 and I consider them my best friends along with my husband. Our relationship have evolved into friends as they've grown up. My mum is 93 and until her dementia she was a best friend too. All relationships are different and that goes with friendships. I have different relationships with all my friends and that includes my children. My eldest son died 10 years ago age 26. I always say I lost my baby, my child and my one of my best friends. Because he was. So yes my adult children are my friends.

I just want to say I have 4 children 2 girls and 2 boys my youngest daughter who is 32 is my daughter and 1 of my best friends were always there for each other and she is the mother to my 2 lovely grandsons and I proud of the way she has brought them up

Yes I would say my adult children are friends. Beey special friends that I love but still friends. I have worked with people their age and would call them friends so I don't see that it is a problem. They are in their 30s and don't need parenting any more.

I socialise with my adult children too, and ask their advice sometimes. We can have a really good laugh together.
I would not burden them with any emotional problems of my own though.

Young children - no, not really, although encouraging communication could be considered 'friendly'.

AC? I don't see why not. I can talk about anything with mine. We will socialise, drink and share jokes etc. The same as I do with my friends, so yes - I think we are friends.

Aep "^Children and friends are quite different and should be treated as such.^"

Opinion surely? Not appropriate for a dogmatic general statement like this.

We have a close bond, but all different with my 3 children. They are my children not my Friends that is a different relationship, surely your children do not want to know about Mum n Dads personal life and sometimes some things are best kept.
We have raised these people we must not burden them and make them feel uncomfortable around us.
My Children enjoy our company as it is ......attached by the umbilical cord lol xx

My daughter is 50 and my son is 45. We all do things together. I regard them as my children but I reckon we are all good friends, so the answer is, 'Yes, I do treat them as friends'.

I love my AC dearly (and we can talk about most things) but the parent/child relationship is always there. The relationship I have with my friends is definitely different, and for me, that's as it should be. (I do appreciate that it may be different for other people.)

Yes. In that, despite the fact that I am in charge and make the rules as an adult, I listen to them, respect them and talk to them with the same love and respect I would give to another adult. They have always been my friends and I think this led to them being able to talk to me about anything, and to maintain a positive relationship through the trickier teens.

What a very interesting and intriguing question. I had to ponder and the answer is a definite no. There are some no go areas for my children and same but different for my friends. Hadn't ever really thought about this until today. Rather thought provoking. Thanks, opener.

My children have many friends ... but only one mother!

No ,I get on really well with my son and daughters all adults, we chat we laugh etc. But there are some things I don't want to discuss with them, which I wool 6 discus with my friends. And visa versa with my children, I'm sure there's things they don't want to talk to me about,

Children can be your friend . As long as there are boundaries and they know right from wrong . They know that you are there parents and there are rules that need to be obeyed . Wouldn't you want your child to come to you if they have a problem or needed advice . I always told my children tell the truth and I can always help you . Lie and your on your own . My youngest daughter is now 25 , we go on holiday together and we class ourselves as best friends . I have to say I trust her more than any friend .

No. We are polar opposites in our views, and get into heated arguments when I want a peaceful life.

Must say I have a close relatio ship withmost of my children and love them dearly we are not friends!
My daughters partners 5 year old tell his dad hes his best friend and the dad tell the child he is his best friend, I don't agree with this as he is his father.

No....