Predictive text howlers

I text a tradesman called Daniel, I didn’t notice, and sent a message beginning, Hello Darling!

Ha Ha Sara65. Did he turn up with a bunch of flowers?

I was invited to a cheese and wind party!

No, but he seemed to keep his distance!

My husband thought it was hilarious.

Shysal what kind of cheese were they serving!

Predictive texting is the blame (!) whoops bane of my life??‍♀️

Subtitles on the television can be funny too. The BBC recently informed me that "Eddie's son is credited with inventing the light bulb".

While away for a couple of months, DH sent me a text asking me "how's your wind?"

I don't generally suffer from particularly bad wind, so was puzzled for a while, then twigged that he was asking after my attempts to brew my own wine!

Like that one Grannycool. Eddie's son. What a clever boy!

Writing ‘Hi Stan’ to my brother it’s always changed to ‘Hi Satan’!

Thank you! you are all giving me some laughs on this stormy day

I accidentally asked after dil’s ‘baby bump’ and predictive changed it into ‘baboon’. Received a very confused emoji face back from son.
Everyone’s posts have me in gales of laughter, especially JaneyG’s Satan

I used to have a ladies fashion store online. Someone asked me on twitter what plans I had for the weekend.
I tried to say my daughter and I were doing a stock take. Predictive text said my daughter and I were doing a stockbroker!

Wasn’t there a classic predictive text bloomer where somebody wanted to say that they relaxed by meditating and actually said they relaxed by masturbating.