So should I lie!

Yes, it is rude to ask why you haven’t got children. My sister would have lived a baby, but it just didn’t happen. When she was asked THE question, she would say ‘I’m waiting for one to be abandoned on my doorstep’. Job done.

If you feel the need to answer these nosey folk......just say that you didn’t feel you’d be very good at parenting ( as you’re not maternal) , so made the choice not to have any. My brother and sister-in-law made the same choice.... and believe me they were right!!! It isn’t for everyone.

I would just shut them down with a ,"thats very intrusive" some similar variation of basically "mind your own business"

Oopsadaisy has the best answer, Why do you ask?. Makes the person reflect a bit on their manners.

Mind you, I’ve had people ask why I had three children. One said in the same breath that she could have taught me how to use birth control. We’d just met so that was the shortest friendship of my life.

I know at least 8 women who never had children and I would never dream of asking why, as it’s none of my business

To ask a woman why she doesn't have children is the height of rudeness and implies a huge value judgement - it suggests you have to provide a justification for not being a mum, whereas nobody is ever asked to provide a justification for being one. I am not childless but if I were and that question was put to me I wouldn't even give a response because the asker has no right to expect one. I would assume that by placing me in the position where I had to give a reason for my choices, that person wasn't somebody I would want to waste my time talking to anyway. And I would simply walk away.

“Oh, I’m Sorry, would you mind awfully if we didn’t talk about that? Tell me about your grandkids instead - they look/sound lovely.”

Well, drop the ‘awfully’ bit if you like ?

This can be a really painful question for those who can't have children, and may have tried for years to become parents. I can never understand why people feel they can ask - and my response would be 'I don't discuss that matter'.

I’m an only child and my mother was always being asked why.
People often implied I was spoilt , which I wasn’t. Mum had no quick fire answer but if my father heard anyone saying anything about our circumstances he always called them out on it which they didn’t like at all!
I did not have a child for eight years and I got it in the neck for being selfish. One friend told me I had a higher chance of having cancer.!
It’s your choice and you owe no one an explanation . Think of an answer that you are happy with and use it!

I can't believe how rude some people are...you shouldn't have to justify yourself to anyone...x

I think that , especially when people first meet you, if they have children themselves, it is a way of feeling that everyone is on common ground. It isn't meant to be intrusive.
My sister was always adamant that she didn't want children (this was actually before she had my nephew). She always said that because she had nieces and nephews, she said she could always borrow someone elses!
Another fiend's answer is usually that she prefers children she can hand back !!!

Yes, it’s interesting to realise that when people are asked if they have children, there is not usually a follow up question asking why they have had children.

One of my sisters choose no kids , people think it's ok to ask why. She has the look you know the one that scares you to death,

Not quite the same, but once at a job interview I was asked about children . I forget the exact question, but I turned to the representative from the local authority and said: I think that is an unacceptable question.
A bit formal perhaps for an informal conversation, but it is true. It is unacceptable to ask someone why they don’t have children. They don’t deserve an answer.
I met a new lady at choir practice last week who has just moved into the area, so I asked her if she had any family here. There are ways to get to know people without embarrassing them

No don`t lie and it`s damn rude to ask why anyway nosey gitbags.

I too would answer with , ‘Why do you ask?’ It’s such a rude question.

Many years ago I used to be asked ‘what does your husband do?’ If I went anywhere unaccompanied , I used to reply with ‘ why? Do you know him?’
That usually shut them up.

I cant understand how people can be so rude. If someone asked why my reply would be that's my business don't you think?
I on the other hand have 8 children a mixture of birth and adopted. People would say to me 'oh you must love children'. My reply was 'No I don't, but I love MY children'

Someone suggested saying something like "why have you got children?" which sounds like a good idea.

I do not ask people if they have children.

If I mention my own children, people either start talking about their own children too or they do not. I take my lead from them.

Two of my friends who do not have children quite freely tell people the reasons why - in one case, unable to have them and, in the other, did not wish to have children.

I suspect that, sometimes, people are trying clumsily to make conversation when they ask that question which is no excuse but it may be the reason.

Once when I was a very young mother I met an old school friend whom I hadn't seen since school days. In the course of catching up she asked had I any children. Then I asked her. She said no and I asked why. She looked very uncomfortable and said she couldn't. I felt soawful. I have never asked that question since. I think it's a question you really should not ask. I would just ignore it and if pushed just say I think that's private/my business.

I'd probably just say "I don't know" and change the subject. You could add in a "children are lovely though" so they don't come to random conclusions x

My DD just says she doesn’t want them! That usually ends the conversation.
These days it is quite common not to want children.

Oldwoman70.
perhaps you could reply with the question
Why do you ask? That usually stops them in their tracks. ?

I’ve got four children, Kittylester and I use the ‘We didn’t find out what was causing them until I had No 4,’ line.

A childless colleague was asked that question a lot. She said it sounded like people thought she was odd/strange/weird to be married with no children. She'd never wanted any - but told people it 'just never happened'.

The other side of the coin is when I am asked why we have 5 children. My answer was 'It took us a while to find out what causes them!'